Dreamed 1992/8/5 by Chris Wayan
I'm contemplating a mountain made of veins of black ink on a white page. A Himalayan peak. Looks like a comic strip about traveling to Nepal on the astral plane. The ink-squiggles become little creatures and start to fight! I'm getting worried...
But my teacher, a guide hovering by me, explains "When you dream, all the conflicts you sense in others, and even those you fear inside, tend to appear physically... often as knife fights. In your dreams you fear these and see them as problems, but all you need to do is watch them--don't involve yourself, just observe them. Awareness alone! You don't have to take sides or save anyone, and it doesn't matter if they attack YOU. You might get killed, yes. You have been, now and then. So what?"
I realize, as I watch the ink-people slashing at each other, that I follow most of this advice already on my own. It's my nature. But... I DO fear conflict and pain and death. Still... my practice is fine! I do see things, face truths, acknowledge conflicts and opposing figures. I need only work on involving myself less, feeling less fear.
For the pattern my dreams make on the page is calligraphic, wild and beautiful.
And it without that conflict, would the vigor still be there?
NOTE WHEN I WAKE
The dream echoed a scene in a Lynn Andrews book, WIND HORSE WOMAN I think. Lynn's in Nepal, and her teacher says "just watch that river." She tries to get inside it, become ONE with the river. "Don't bother" says her mentor. "Be yourself seeing it, don't BE it. Then you're calm, and what you think is "you" disappears, and your big-mind takes over. Like the mountain. It just sits."
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