THE WHITE KRELKIN

Dreamed 1981/4/21 by Chris Wayan

I dream my friend Kenny's been commissioned to do a stained glass window or a tapestry. But he can't think of a design, so he goes through my old pictures for inspiration. He finds a beautiful, sexy one I don't recall drawing: a white krelkin. Krelkins are dream beings I've met repeatedly: part deer, part grayhound, part horse, but with human intelligence (and then some).

dream image of a 'krelkin', a unicornlike being, blending into its environment

The design Kenny likes shows a white-pelted female krelkin on a red background, with a red mane and tail that whip zigzaggily across her body, the same color as the background, fragmenting her body into floating white shapes. It's like some Japanese banner, strong negative spaces.

I wake knowing I'll have to draw this, probably several versions.

dream image of a 'krelkin', a horse/grayhound sort of being, blending into her environment

NOTE ON WAKING

As I draw the design, I start to see a message in it: it's a self-portrait of my soul. I may APPEAR fragmented, missing my center, but that's not emptiness--it's my tail! My soul has a tail, a shamanic, animal side. My tail HIDES my core, even from me, but it's there. In fact, I'm quite unified! Just not very human...

And only so long as I deny my tail's existence will I think I'm fragmented.

a white krelkin with black tail and mane, on a red oval

Are some others with multiple personality disorder just breaking themselves up for camouflage, like those frogs with zigzag stripes... like me? I doubt if all victims are--my multiplicity is quite mild, as splitting goes. But still...

Must I camouflage myself?

Maybe some spiritual hair-dye will change things.

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