A windy, foggy day at my parents' house. Despite the poor flying weather, I'm showing my sister and some friends how with you can fly if you change your attitude. Have to demonstrate several times before they'll even believe what's in front of them. No surprise--people enculturated with scientific or European rationalism have trouble learning to fly, because they doubt things they "know" are impossible, even when they see them--and do them.

And I admit, it's not too impressive, at first. I rise slowly, heavily--weighed like a wet robe by my own doubts. But this always happens--I fly easily once I've proven it to myself yet again.

Now some of them start to rise. I give them a tour of the area. Point out the hollow in the heart of the blue mound of ceanothus flowers. "I always flew in there to hide when I wanted to be a alone, as a kid."

But... that isn't TRUE. I didn't. Fly, or hide there, either one. My attitude revolution is quite a recent achievement--I couldn't fly in there, or fly at all, as a kid. Why am I pretending I've always had this ability?

IN THE MORNING

• Work magic with your attitude = my housemate Kristen's been reading Dale Carnegie's HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE.
• Round thing, hide = in sculpture class today, while carving a round chunk of plaster, I told my friend Victoria that I hid out alone most of the time as a kid. She says she's still quite shy and asocial "and, Chris... you're not."
• The dream agrees with Victoria that I've changed; but adds that it's very recent progress. And I want to pretend to a stability, a continuity in my life, that's fake. I've changed, and for the better--but recently, and for some reason I want to hide that. More comfortable with the flightless creature I was, than whatever it is I'm becoming?

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