I'LL TRY

1990. Digital picture based on video based on ink sketch, by Chris Wayan

One of my earliest ink drawings: ballpoint on a 3 x 5 scratch card. I found it years later, videotaped a close-up of it, and digitized it later from the tape, all fuzzy and staticky. I poured hot colors into the narrow channels of the noisy lines, filled the broad flat spaces with paint, blew it up huge, and stared at it until I could express what made me draw it, and typed that on the side...

I dreamed I was beautiful. I loved it since I feel ugly when I'm awake. My hands get funny though, when I'm pretty: I can't affect things without them acting back on me: I'm so linked to it all, through my sweet curved skin (so unlike my angular day-body) that I lose my power over things. Oh well, joy is better than manipulation. Power-over is boring. It's been tried. Maybe I'll try being beautiful and happy when I'm awake!

Hey, feel free to try this little experiment yourself. Try being happy and beautiful while you're awake. Declare yourself so, and see who or what objects.

Maybe no one will.

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