A crowd of pseudo-sophisticates, gin smooth. Tuxed, tall, a cult agog for an odd guru dubbed Mer-Saint, in her wallow-pond daylong. Spangled mermaid tail. That real? Gold skin, rose scales, a lovely waste: slit nose, fishlips, a sea-bass jaw & eel hair round beady eyes: ape-faced. Her aura's doltish. Pouts depressed, yet they post endless clips of her. I bet they win near-zero converts--so inept! For she won't teach. Just rests & nests       in her puddletub,       sure she's the best.       Why not? She's got       those breasts.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Girl in water, spangles: on the BBC mystery Vera, a girl in a glittering gown is found dead in the River Tyne. Stranger yet, she didn't drown.
• Dressed-up cult: on the rivercruise, her partying friends were too busy drinking dancing & humping to notice she was gone. I envy normal people able to go out, party, get loud, drink, fuck, cheat on each other & generally act like fools--with few fatalities. When I act that way, I get promptly sick.
• Nice body, but ugly-faced, smug, & do-nothing: my envy was kinda theoretical. I didn't really want to be, or even date, any of her hot young friends. Nice bodies, but they mostly were monkey-faced jerks--sober. And worse when drunk. The dream's just warning me to remember, when I envy party animals, that many of them really are.

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