I need to punch a hole lengthwise down the axis of a yard-long cardboard cylinder. It has only paper or cardboard disks at the ends, plus a few more deep inside, so I won't need to drill, just punch with a needle or pin. And I have a thin dowel long enough. But how to center it without being able to reach in? (I never think of a laser pointer. Anyway, I don't have one.)

Somehow this little construction project slowly mutates into...

I'm preparing to stick tweezers into my left eye! And then deeper into my skull. Preparatory to jamming that dowel into my brain.

Just as I wake, I think, "If I need eye or brain surgery, shouldn't someone else do it? Someone who can see in? Doing it blind seems a bit risky..."

A bit? You think?!

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Eye trouble: for half an hour, my eyes suddenly stung--allergies? Then all was normal again. Whaaat?
• Reckless eye surgery: on Miss Fisher, a surgeon grafted skin around an eye lost in war--but took the skin from others, not from the blinded man! Rejected, of course. In horrible pain, the guy overdosed on opiates and died. In a gratuitous morgue scene we see the bloody, inflamed socket.
• Last night I dreamed I was ignoring a weird puncture wound. Tonight, this! My dreams think I really ought to see a doctor! But who? Since Covid, I've seen six doctors at Kaiser Clinic. One helped me, three did nothing, three insulted my intelligence (partial overlap there) and one actively harmed me (it'd be two if I'd followed doctor's orders--a reckless overdose).
• Wait, did the dream really mean I'm irresponsible? Or am I just desperate? Maybe I dream of self-surgery because Kaiser won't do its job. I have felt abandoned. Kaiser-Permanente talks big about preventive medicine, but they only apply it to statistically common problems--obesity, smoking, diabetes. Otherwise they're dismissive; diagnosis isn't cost-efficient.
• ACTION: Switch doctors? Switch health plans entirely (and why think they'll be better)? Move to a nation with a sane health system, i.e., anywhere but America?

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