Dreamed 2006/8/30 by Emily Joy
with apologies to Uri Geller
Before me is a mug of magical elixir I want to drink. What'll it do for me? I'm eager to find out.
There's just one problem: there are twenty negative spoons jammed in the cup. No way will I get my mouth past all those. They have to go. And I'm only allowed to move one!
What can I do? Negative twenty spoons. Twenty negative spoons. What is a negative spoon?
I mull over the riddle. I'm very shaky at math, especially negative numbers. "Negative 20 spoons poking up from 1 mug, that's -20 over 1. Wait, the spoons are down inside the mug—halfway underneath it; that's 1 over -20. So now if I multiply... -20/1 x 1/-20 = 1! Therefore there is only one spoon in this mug!"
Well, of course there is. That's logic.
I pull out the spoon--the positive, solid spoon--and drink.
"Don't try to bend the spoon; that's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth: There is no spoon. Then you will see, it isn't the spoon that bends, it is only yourself."
Or do I just... refuse to bend?
Wow, so much negativity blocking magic... and all twenty negatives boils down to one think. Oops, I meant thing, didn't I? Maybe think is right.
I wasn't laughing, or thinking of the Matrix. I was envious, and thinking of Alice. Lewis Carroll would have loved this dream. Drink me, eat me, and be transformed! If you can solve the negativity riddle.
"When I was going down the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today--
I wish, I wish he'd go away!"
And what then? What's in that elixir--what'll it do, if you can get past the negatives to reach it?
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