The page of stupid dream humor. Though of course dream-jokes often have a point. It's our conscious minds that find dream-logic absurd. What intrigues me is how many of these dreams suggest that dreams find our conscious reasoning equally silly.
So ask yourself while reading these dreams: who's fooling who? Is dream-irrationality what it seems, or are your dreams putting you on?
Christmas Eve, 2000. Wayan was short on time, cash, inspiration... presents. Squeaking in desperation, our small mammal set the writing program Word to search the fifteen thousand dreams on Wayan's hard disk for certain keywords: silly, stupid, dumb, funny, and pointless. Numerous dreams short enough to fit in a chapbook were found. Edited, laid out, printed, and wrapped by dawn... a holiday trifle, it seemed at the time.
But along with a parallel experiment called Birth Dreams, that search was the seed of the World Dream Bank. RELATED TOPICS: dream puns (both visual and verbal) - surrealism - nightmares (it's a fine line, sometimes) - the original book: Catalog: Dumb Dreams - tricksters: coyotes - ravens and crows - rabbits - foxes - See also the full INDEX OF SUBJECTS.
What this site is - Add your dreams! - How to read blurbs - Ratings - Copyright - Downloading - The World Dream Bank has 2300 dreams plus 1000 more pages on dreamwork, shamanism, surrealism, fantasy, worldbuilding, creativity and genius. Site © Chris Wayan 2001-2013.
|ACORN AND PELT: by Wayan; 1983/7/19, a simple sex dream growing to a mystical extravaganza
I fall in love, defying dwarf-tossers and Toulouse-Lautrec, till I become a time-traveling bunny...
CAUTION: SEX, SIZE DISCRIMINATION AND SLANDER
|ADRIAN TRIED: by Wayan, 1991/3/12, an embarrassing dream.
Adrian and Jennifer and Michelle try very very hard to get my attention, but I'm a bit oblivious...
CAUTION: SEXUAL STUPIDITY
|AIDA'S TOILET BOAT: by Wayan; 1993/4/7, a psychic dreamtale.
A sexy comedian and her troubles down the drain. A dream that turned out to be true...
|THE AIR BURUNDI PAINTINGS: by Wayan; 210K, 7 illus., 2007/1/20, a dream of art and courage
Weird paintings cover a hill town in Africa, demanding I paint them when I wake. Paintings on courage, flight... and defying tradition.
|THE AIRPORT AUTOMATIC PHOTOGRAPHY BOOTH: by Julie Doucet; 1997/11/19, a comic of a warning dream
At the airport, a new automatic photo booth shoots your memories! Julie can't resist... and emerges, excited, to find that...
|ALL-NIGHT BUFFALO CONVENIENCE!: by Wayan; 1995/7/24, an entrepreneurial dream.
A late-night conversation with the proud developer of a new concept in South Asian convenience dining...
|ALTHEA'S CHICKEN: by Wayan; 120K, 1990/3/27, an illustrated nightmare-farce.
My sister Althea decides my house has demons, and hires an exorcist who botches things, so that...
|AMBIVALENT? NO! (YES): by Wayan; 108K, 1990. Digital panorama of dream-characters.
A chronological orgy of my self-images from childhood on: horses, geeks, girls, satyrs, boys, monsters...
|ANCIENT MARE-KIN GRAVEYARD: by Wayan; 2008/9/1, a dreamsong (MP3+lyrics),Dreamverse #18
I'm a ghost watching future archeologists dig up a site of my people--and get it so wrong...
|THE APPLIANCE'S EFFECT: by Wayan; 1996/8/20, a teasing little dream.
Why has no one noticed that the side effects of a household appliance violate all known physics?
|ARBORETUM CAT: by Wayan; acrylic nondream landscape, 1999/4/14.
Golden Gate Park's arboretum, in San Francisco, is home to feral cats, skunks, raccoons, people...
|ASK ME ANYTHING: by Wayan; 1975/1/31, a backstage dream.
It was a dark and stormy night. I was lost, till I stumbled on God in her underground control room...
|THE B SIDE OF THE PENIS: by Wayan; 1996/8/26, a sex dream about reprogramming .
I erase my sexual tape, and start from scratch. Uh-oh, blank! Am I male, female, gay, straight? And... what SPECIES?
CAUTION: MESSY SEXUAL BOOBOOS
|BABY'S COMING: by Bruno Oliveira; late summer 2011, a genderbent dream
I'm very pregnant and feel bloated. My mom says "That's what you get for not using a condom"...
|BATMAN'S LOVE: by Wayan; 1996/3/26, a dream-epic of love and time.
A New Age graduation party spurs a wild dream of the spiritual odyssey of Catwoman, starring Alexander the Great, Batman, God, and Rumi the poet (played by Frank Zappa)...
CAUTION: MORAL RELATIVITY
|A BEAGLE, THREE WOLVES, AND A SETTER: by Wayan; 2009/2/6, a dream of wolf-training; Dreamverse #50
Fresh off the Beagle, Darwin and friends meet three wolf-girls on a train and exhibit a Pavlovian (or Biblical) reflex...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, SPECISM, PUNS
|BEATING UNCLE FESTER, or, ACHIEVING BILUMIA: by Wayan; 2013/3/31, a telepathic wish-granting dream. A stupid telepathic wish-granting dream.
I screw the lightbulbs in my ears again, and this time, they stay. I sit down at the piano, and as I play...
|BERRY DANCE: by Wayan; 2009/12/17; a nightmare turns to go-go-dance
My kidnappers were desperate: no jobs. I fled them down the berry chute, to the underground strawberry factory where engineers in go-go boots did the berry dance. And the berries...
CAUTION: STRAWBERRY FETISH
|BERYL BORROWED IT: by Wayan, 1986/3/8, an absurd dream.
My friend Beryl borrows my ass and legs to become a centaur so she won't fall over. I want them back, so...
CAUTION: CRUDE AND STUPID
|BERYL'S DOG DAYS: by Wayan; 1988/1/25, a psychic dream farce.
My friend Beryl wants me to help rob a bank, so she can cut off her breasts and be a great opera singer...
|THE BLACK EGG: by Wayan; 1999/3/25, a psychic dreamtale.
My crazy friend Wayne goes bowling for busses with a black egg. Wait! Crazy? Or... predictive?
CAUTION: GEORGIA O'KEEFFE BEHAVES DISGRACEFULLY
|THE BLIP: by Wayan; 1982/5/4, a brief dreamtale.
A bubble of spacetime distortion lands in a very awkward place...
|THE BLUE MILLIPEDE: by Wayan; 1996/11/5 (Election Night), a political dream.
I'm a wizard chasing crooked politicians in a big city. They have a car, I hop a trolley, only on the astral plane it's a giant blue millipede, and...
CAUTION: RECKLESS DRIVING, THEFT OF PUBLIC MILLIPEDE
|BOGNOR MARRIAGE: by Thomas Hood; 1825; a newlywed nightmare
I found a honeymoon cottage by the sea, and the old landlady gave me a very reasonable rate. Everything was fine...
|BOIL THE CORD, or, A Dinner Date with the Faerie Queene: by Wayan; 2000/4/27, an anorexic dreamtale.
I seek a stolen magic necklace, but end up dating the thief, an elf-queen with STRANGE taste in cookery...
CAUTION: BAD SOUP
|BOLLYWOOD LOVE: by Wayan; 2009/4/12, a movie dream (duh!); Dreamverse #51
I live in a universe running on Bollywood rules. I can stand the constant singing and breakdancing; what gets under my skin is that Bollywood Code...
|LE BON DIEU (Around #2): by Wayan; 600 x 600, 1999. Digital picture.
Soul-Poodle is torn between Le Bone Dieu and Dancing Pussy. Who will our horny dogma chase?
CAUTION: MUTT SMUT
|BONK VERONICA: by Wayan; 1997/4/1, 9 page dream-comic (1.3Mb total)
The world's first all-bulemic band, Veronica and the Vomits, provokes a riot at our local punk club. So I go to Anorexic Bootcamp and join an army of models learning self-defense under fire, as calories and fat jokes whiz by...
CAUTION: BARF, HORNY ANOREXIC, FOOD FIGHT
|BOOK OF GOLD: by a four-year-old; before 1961, an apparent telepathic flash
A woman urged her friend to give her daughter a musical education. Without hearing this, the child went hunting for...
|THE BORIS BADENOV SOLUTION: by Wayan; 1989/2/10, a dream of puns.
My evil twin, Boris Badenov, wants $8000 or else. I ask my dreams for a solution, and get one...
|THE BOSS'S GUTS: by Wayan; 1993/6/3, a dream on health-sabotage..
Flu. Ow, cramps! But that night I dream of a miner's rebellion against our fat-cat boss. Which side am I on?
|BOYS: by Wayan; 1993-99, a gender-equity poem.
When girls get their clits cut, even the UN takes notice. But mutilate boy genitals, and... big yawn!
CAUTION: TALK ABOUT SEX AND VIOLENCE--BUT HEY, IT'S ONLY BOYS
|THE BREAST BANDIT: by Wayan, 1984/5/31, an embarrassing dream.
I'm bad. I'm really bad. I know I shouldn't have done it. But my mail-order breasts were late...
CAUTION: BREAST THEFT
|BUCKLEY'S BLOATED BOMB: by Wayan; 1983/11/20, a political nightmare.
I meet William F. Buckley and his beloved pet pig. Only the hog's a live H-Bomb, and the leash is a trigger...
CAUTION: REPULSIVE GUY, REPULSIVE PET, REPULSIVE ISSUE
|BUDDHA BEARS: by Wayan; 1994. Digital painting of nondream vision.
Gosh, I'm speechless. How Zen! Market me at once!
CAUTION: MOCKS RELIGION. OR ADVERTISING. ONE OF THOSE.
|BUSINESSMEN HAVE SNOUTS: by Wayan; 2010/11/14, a dream-poem about... the US elections?
Businessmen grow short trunks and their necks stretch. They drive VW Beetles with the sunroof open. Works in summer, but...
|BUT THAT'S BESTIALITY!: by Wayan; 1994/10/29, a dream vignette.
In a world dominated by dinosaurs, I get in trouble for publishing a tale of forbidden mammal love...
|CAMPION'S WARNING: by Wayan; 1994/6/12, a warning dream.
On the beach, seated at The Piano, director Jane Campion warns "Avoid Hollywood, they'll snip away at your vision..."
|CAPITOL REEF: by Wayan; 277K, 1996. Cartooned daydream of a mid-air (or is it mid-water?) orgy
News of a new national park fused with a science show on cleaner-fish spur a fantasy of dolphins, cats and...
CAUTION: FISH ORGY; MOCKS THE ANGEL MORONI, TOO
|CAT AND CRAB: by Wayan; 1981/3/12, a dream about teasing?
My cat keeps going into heat and sneaking out for sex with my godmother's pet crab, and...
CAUTION: SEX, BAD PUNS, CRABBINESS
|CECY'S SUBMISSION: by Wayan; 157K total, 1996/6/4, a sex-farce dream.
My writer-friend Cecy will do anything to get published. Anything? Oh, believe me, ANYTHING...
CAUTION: BONDAGE, not to mention POSTAGE
|CELEBRATE BOTH: by Henry Sultan, 2005/6/26, a painting that blends two dreams
At a snake-weaving party I flirt with my anima, who tells me how the cake fell off the roof. I think "At last we're really connecting!"...
|CENTAUR AUDITION: by Wayan; 2012/1/7, a dream about undreams, and a sequel 2012/1/30, a Pygmalion dream
Non-dream centaur ballerinas invade my dreams, because they long to be in the World Dream Bank...
CAUTION: BARBIE CENTAUR NUDITY, CASTING-COUCH SYNDROME
|CENTAUR BEACH: by Wayan; 1990. Two images from a set of recurring dreams.
Me and my sisters at the beach. Strangers rarely think we're related, and you can see why...
|CENTAUR CIRCLES: by Wayan; 1991. Early, experimental digital painting.
An experiment with digital textures that fascinated me. Not a dream, just feels like it.
|CENTAUR: PAULINA AT SUNSET: by Wayan; 210K, 1988? Dream-influenced life studies
Worried you're anorexic? Gain weight, yet stay slender! Become a centaur, like model Paulina Porizkova...
CAUTION: NUDITY and BODY IMAGE/ANOREXIA ISSUES
|THE CHAPARRAL OF TIME: by Wayan; 2008/10/21, a timetravel dream-poem: Dreamverse #36
I snorkel over the time-reefs to an era of talking animals--but why do I crash on the head of rocker Suzi Quatro?
|CHE FANNO GLI INGLESI?: by William Archer; 1917/7/30, a senseless dream.
To help the King of Italy, I become a baker in Baluchistan--learning Norwegian, levitating, meeting quaggas, riding landslides...
|CHIMP FINAL: by Wayan; 1984/5/19, a dream about failure.
I'm in school on a chimp scholarship and it's time for my final exam...
|CLAIRE'S NAMES: by Wayan, 1998/1/11, a dream of love and stretching.
My skateboard-riding mermaid girlfriend and I bind ourselves together by the magical power of names...
|CLAY AND HOP: by Wayan; 2009/10/30, a dream poem with sketches; Dreamverse #63
I touch the secret soul of a cancer survivor, upsetting her. To apologize, I become a goofy hopping god...
CAUTION: FONDLING SACRED FIGURINES
|A CLINTONIAN AFFAIR: by “Kate”; 2008/2/18, a dream of strange political bedfellows indeed
Hillary Clinton and George W. Bush were having a secret love affair, and I was sharing their bed...
|CLONE BREAKUP (illus. text) or CLONE (5p. comic): by Wayan; 1994/2/27, a psychic dream on the need to stand out.
I model with ten blonde clones. They want to be seen as individuals, so it's their last fashion show before they...
|COLLISION COURSE: by Wayan; May 1998; digital sketch of waking life-situation.
Being a hippie artist in San Francisco today feels like being an animal in an African game park...
|COLT TABOOS: by Wayan; 1972/3/27, a puberty dream.
A castle with horse statues in the moat. Only... one of them is alive! He's my lover...
CAUTION: EVERY SEX TABOO YOU CAN THINK OF
|COMETS STRUCK MY GIRLFRIEND: by Wayan; a 1998/8/9 dream painted on a 12" record.
I knew my new girlfriend was the large economy size but I didn't realize she was a gas giant until...
CAUTION: FLATULENT PLANETARY NUDITY
|THE CONCHES: by Wayan; 1996/5/23, a dream about projections.
A visit to the Conches, a strange race who are only people intermittently, seasonally...
|COOLIDGE'S DUCK: by Wayan; 1981/4/29, a political dream.
Calvin Coolidge takes over the White House and invites his rich fossil friends over for a bath...
|COYOTE'S DINNER PRAYER: by Wayan; 1998/6/5. A waking prayer-poem for you hungry coyotes.
Coyote's pagan parody of the Christian Lord's prayer. Well, actually, it's kind of sweet..
CAUTION: SACRILEGE, ESPECIALLY THE BIT ABOUT TEMPTATION
|COYOTE SENT ME CASH!: by Wayan, 3.1MB (MP3 + lyrics), a 2007 jazz-rap telling a 1982/10/11 psychic dream.
A true tale proving the Trickster God really will provide. We're lilies of the field!
|A CRAIGSLIST BARGAIN: by Wayan; 2006/10/1. A dream of another life; possible ESP.
I’m an Asian kid in Pacifica, California. My parents annoy me, so I offer them for sale on Craigslist. A cop appears...
|CRISSI THE DRIDER: by Brian Harp; 2003/1/16, a recurring dream character
Crissi is a strange creature that has prowled my subconcious for a few years...
CAUTION: SPIDER SEX, BONDAGE
|"CRY, BABY!": by Wayan, 1985/8/17, dream-farce with a warning.
The only man in the Miss America Japanese Tea Ceremony Swimsuit Pageant, I learn a tearful lesson...
CAUTION: DYSFUNCTIONAL FLIRTING
|CURMUDGEON I: by Wayan; 1981/7/24, a silly dream.
That broccoli business made the new pope controversial, but when he goes off to find his girlfriend...
CAUTION: CATHOLIC SACRILEGE I'M SURE
|CURSING ISABELLA: by Wayan; 1992/8/19, a thoughtful dream of sorcery.
How I cursed Isabella the sofa sorceress, cursed her with a blueberry. And why that stinks...
CAUTION: UNDER THE MAGIC, IDEAS
|CUTENESS PAGEANT: by Wayan; 2008/8/29, a dream-poem, Dreamverse #16.
I'm trapped in a cutesy cartoon universe! Worse, to judge a beauty contest, I have to see past our style to our souls...
|DAD ON THE BOARD: by Wayan; 1981/2/12, a dream of business as usual.
How my dad got onto the board of directors and made the organization his own...
|DANCE OF THE ENIGMAS: by Brian Harp; 2000, a dream of a sphinx-riddle
She asked me "What, plus a teaspoon of knowledge and a teaspoon of wisdom, makes three teaspoons of nothing?"
|DANCING BACKWARD: by Roswila; 2007/5/21, a punning dream-poem
I just watch as all the dance students practice the jive step. I think I already know that one...
|DATELINE WEDNESDAY: by Wayan; 1987/12/27, a dream of the shamanic heartland
On Thursdays, in Tungusia, looking at your watch could save your life...
CAUTION: DEFAMES SIBERIANS
|DAWN'S DIVORCE: by Dawn Z; 2002/3/1-21, an outrageous dream sequence
While going through a painful breakup, I kept having sexy, lucid, psychic dreams...
|DAWN'S TOILET: by Dawn Z and Wayan; 1999/1/6, two strongly parallel dreams
Wayan dreams of surprising Dawn on the toilet while she dreams that flushing away evidence of Foul Play won't work...
|DEAD RIGHTS! DEAD RIGHTS!: by Wayan; 1983/10/1, a dream of the other side.
I die young, to get it over with, like chickenpox. As I slowly revive, I face bias against the dead. So..
|DEAF TO MY SIGNS: by Wayan; 1997/6/17, a wise frustration dreamtale.
Watching a slideshow, in a room of deaf women, I find no one can hear me in either English or Sign...
|A DEAL WITH GOD: by Wayan; 1987/10/21, a heretic dream.
Evangelists pester me until I get so mad I make an on-the-spot deal with...
CAUTION: MAD AT CHRISTIANS AGAIN
|THE DIADEM RATIO: by Wayan; 1994/8/14, an absurd dream scene.
I stumble into the middle of my own dream and struggle to figure out just what the hell I'm talking about...
|THE DILDO SHOW: by Wayan; 2010/1/24, a truly awful dream sitcom
After seeing a 1950s cowboy show, I dream of a sitcom full of dildo balloons, passive boytoys and a relentless laugh track...
CAUTION: OH, READ THE TITLE
|THE DINOSAUR ELEVATOR: by Wayan; 1992/11/22, a paradoxical dream.
The dinosaurs I meet manage to prove BOTH time-travel theories! Yet they're contradictory...
|DINOSAUR GAITS: by Wayan; 1998/11/1, a dream on independence.
My paleontologist mom can scuttle like a lizard, so why can't she manage a dinosaur gait?
|DINO SINGULARITY: by Wayan; 2012/3/30, a paleontological speculation in a dream.|
Peering through a spacetime portal, I suspect not all the dinosaurs went extinct--would we spot an ancient Singularity?
|DISCARDS: by Wayan; 2008/3/24, a rap heard in a dream--Dreamverse #39
A Marin girl finds a dirty secret in the school library, and identifies with the discarded books--and people...
|THE DISPLAY: by Wayan; 1997/10/17, a natural history dream.
I'm trapped in a nature documentary about mating displays among humans...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, PBS NARRATION, AND OTHER EMBARRASSMENTS
|THE DOG PILOT PROGRAM: by Wayan; 1981/4/23, a dream of doing the impossible.
I get a job in China teaching bus-driving dogs how to fly. I don't know how. Luckily, the dogs...
|DOLLY'S TAROT: by Wayan; 1995/9/5, a dream on roles.
Tarot with Dolly Parton. But I piss her off. "Men! You think I'm dumb, cuz of my tits!" She fixes THAT...
CAUTION: STUPID BREAST HUMOR BUT AT LEAST IT'S NOT GRUESOME
|DON'T SHOOT THE IBEX: by Jane Doe; 2005/8/9, a hunting dream.
My hunting license won’t let me legally shoot a giraffe or ibex, but I do bag a prime Macy’s salesman...
CAUTION: LICENSE TO KILL
|DRAMA IS HELL!: by Thomas Hood; 1824?; a comic nightmare
When my first play failed, I tried to console myself by reading Paradise Lost. But drama and devils don't mix...
|DRAMATIC PARASITES: by Wayan; 1995/6/28, a dream on fear of success.
I project I'll make a lot more money soon. Good, now I can support all my lazy friends! Wait...
|DREAM CLARITY, or, the Field of Psychotherapy: by Wayan; 1996/11/27, a dream on dreams
While we're making crop-circles in the field of psychotherapy, my hypnotist and I start to argue...
|DREAM OF A DREAM OF NIGHT: by Robert Watson; 1960s, a dream-poem
The goddess of Night is in love with me, but I'm married, and tired, and just full of excuses...
|DREAM SHORTAGE: by Wayan; 1985/12/1, an appropriately short dream.
I meet two women in dream-prison. One's a giant, one a miniature. A fairy? She says, 'No, I'm..."
|THE DREAMSUIT: by Wayan; 1992/7/12, a dream on unconscious programming.
An experimental helmet knocks me out. I'm groggy, miserable, till I learn what it did to others...
|DRIVER'S TEST: by Wayan; 1984/1/8, an illustrated Kafkan dreamtale.
It's not easy to get a California driver's license, ever since the Dept. of Motor Vehicles went Jungian...
|DUCK!: by Wayan; 1988. Digital painting of a dream, 1987/6/5.
I was on one of those package dream-tours--an hour here, a scene there. But then in Patagonia...
CAUTION: CREEPING PAGANISM
|EAT MORE FIBER: by Wayan, 1996/8/8, a nutritious little dream.
Concerned about my health, I up my fiber intake. But not from the usual sources, though...
CAUTION: BAD DIETARY ROLE MODEL
|EDITORS: by Gavin Ewart; late 1970s, recurring nightmares of censorship.
My new editor starts rejecting my poems. My new new editor rewrites them for me. I feel lucky not to be arrested...
|THE EDUCATION OF A DREAM: by Wayan; 1998/7/7, a dream on dreams.
A young, naive, ethereal dream gets an Animus to guide her through the crazy material plane...
CAUTION: GRATUITOUS WILLIAM SHATNER
|EIGHT ELFLOCKS: by Wayan; 2007/8/11, an absurd psychic sex dream.
First I learn strange sex positions from an abused elf and have calligraphic orgasms, then I, uh, turn on my stereo...
CAUTION: SEX, ESP, ANORGASMIA, PAST LIVES, ABUSE ISSUES
|EL ASNO!: by Wayan; 1995/1/20, a political dreamtale.
In a field in the Central Valley, I face the Terror of California...
CAUTION: FIENDISH LEFTIST PROPAGANDA
|ELLIS CRITIQUE: by Wayan; 2008/12/10, four dreams comically challenge Havelock Ellis's dream-theories!
Pa warns me to protect my paws. Gilt wounds my sole. A lioness eats a drumstick. Then a bus crashes on our corner--for real!
|ESCAPE FROM PBS!: by Wayan; 1992/9/17, a trapped-in-TV nightmare.
I'm trapped in a TV documentary on nuclear war! Better dive through a TV screen and find a safe sitcom...
|FASCION: by Wayan; 1992. Digital poster on gender
A sardonic little poster on dating-role reversal with helpful advice...
CAUTION: NUDITY AND INTRUSIVE PHALLUS
|FASHION SHOOT: by Wayan; 114K, Oct-Dec 2000; nondream ceramic sculpture 10.5" long.
Inspired by a fashion outtake of model and director clowning. I fused the director and the camera, and...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY
|FEVER HILL: by Wayan; 1991/4/13, a comic Buddhist nightmare.
My fever-dreams manifest physically and mess up my whole neighborhood. Seismic inspectors arrive...
|FEVER DREAMS: by Wayan; 1993/9/8, a set of wild feverdreams.
While my body expels a kidney stone, weird scenes happen on the astral plane. At least I get to dip the pope.
CAUTION: PAIN, PEE, POPE
|FIGHTING A VIRUS: by Wayan, 1998/11/21, a diagnostic nightmare.
Coming down with a virus, I dream of a guy who INSISTS we must fight, it's just so FUN...
|FIGURE DRAWING: NOW HOLD THAT POSE: by Wayan; 1989 digital sketch of model clowning..
A model who created absurd, impossible poses, and held them heroically...
CAUTION: SILLY NUDITY
|FIRST IMPRESSIONS: by Wayan; 2004/5/20, a dreamsong (MP3+lyrics); Dreamverse #0
I meet a monster--half earthworm, half giraffe. Then I realize she’s kind of cute...
|FIVE BLUNT TEETH: by Wayan; 2011/2/17, a biting ode
I read The Best American Poetry, 2007, but it just isn't, and I find myself writing a Savage Response...
|THE FLASHBACK: by Wayan; 1985/11/28, a dark dream-farce.
I'm a monster working in a shopping mall in Stockton, California, when I smell smoke...
CAUTION: FILM NOIR SEX
|FLOCK WISDOM: by Alder; 1958, a magic comic frustration dream
My eighth grade class is a flock of birds migrating south for the winter, but we don't migrate the easy way...
|FOINBREK THE MOOSE: by Wayan; 1993/12/4, a dreamtale on love and work.
My lesbian twin, who lives in the unemployment line, falls in love with a pushy moose from Brooklyn...
CAUTION: INEPT SEX
|FOOT ON THE GAS: by Wayan; 1982/3/16, a creepy little warning dream.
My car's idling too fast. After hours of diagnosis, I notice a foot's on the gas! Only it's not MY foot...
|FRANCHISE! (illustrated text version): by Wayan; 170K,
or new comics version, 770K; 1995/10/12, a comic dream with a serious warning.
I was the first woman made High Commissioner of Baseball. One day a team of mutants begs a franchise...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, BAD TEAMWORK, HORNY BEES
|FREAKY DREAM, or, HEART IN MY STOMACH: by Ratiries Steelclaw; c. 2004/3/30, a dream comic
I felt like my heart was in my stomach. My friend Lyx opened me up and confirmed it was. She scolded me for eating it...
|FUNKY BUTT UGLY: by Wayan; 1993/7/26, a dream of a Shadow.
We're interviewing new housemate candidates. Only I fail to recognize that one is my own shadow...
|THE GIVE-AWAY: by Wayan; 1982/6/7, a career nightmare.
My parents pray for my success, and arrange a great learning opportunity for me. Really.
|A GLUM BAR: by Wayan; 2000/4/12, the quietest of nightmares.
My house is a bar that never closes. You know what a gay bar is. Well, we're the opposite: a....
CAUTION: BAD VIBES
|GOAT WITH A HUMAN HEAD: by Steve Carter, 2008/7/12; a dream image.
Walking around my brother's farm, I met this goat with a human head. It seemed like he'd been playing with matches...
|GOLDIE'S RHINOPOTAMUS: by Wayan; 2013/4/10, a Fellini dreamjoke with advice.
I'm in Venice. The police chief (armored) and Goldie Hawn (near-naked) ride a skittish monster. Bareback works better...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY
|GORDO'S EYES: by Wayan; 1981/2/14, a dream warning.
The old cartoon character Gordo has another girlfriend. But his pets say he only loves the hunt, not her...
|GREEN DAY DREAM: by Cristy C. Road; early 1995. A recurring dream.
Green Day singer Billie Joe hocked a lugie on me in concert. I felt blessed...
|GROUNDHOG DAY: by Wayan; 140K, 3 images, 1994/9/2, an illustrated lunar dream.
James Hillman is the first psychologist on the moon! Only he sees, not HIS shadow, but MINE...
|HAVE YOUR COCK AND EAT IT TOO: by Wayan; 2007/4/14, a dream of happy autocannibalism
I grew extra penises which bud off me like fruit. So I fry them up like sausages, and...
CAUTION: GENITALIA FOR LUNCH
|HAWK AND CAT: by Wayan, 1981/6/2, a dream of ethics and terror.
My best friend is a cat. Problem is, I'm a rare hawk--a Cat-Eater. I never, ever would, but...
|HE HAS REPENTED: by Frederick Greenwood; before 1894, a pre-Freud discovery of the unconscious
I fail to see an "angry" man's hidden agenda, then mistake a waiter's words--yet if they're me too, who's fooling whom?
|HE LOOKED SOURLY: by John Dee; 1582/11/24, a mage's dream of dying, and after.
The foremost wizard of Shakespeare's age dreams he's dead and they're burning his books, but that doesn't bother him...
|HELL-TORNADO: by Wayan; 1988/7/2, a dream on social engineering.
Who built the tornado in the Heartland, that sucks anyone who opens their spirit-wings down to Hell?
CAUTION: BAD THEOLOGY, WORSE PHYSICS
|HELP YOUR NEIGHBOR: by Wayan; 2 illus., 1994/2/18, a comic nightmare.
I'm an organic almond grower who's solved the Luminous Snail problem. But my neighbor has an agenda...
|HERMIT IN THE PIPE: by Wayan; 1999/5/2, a dream of the end.
I'm a holy man sneaking into a sewerpipe at the beach, to pop anxiety pills in shame. Do they even work?
CAUTION: CHEMICAL CRUTCHES
|HIGH IN THE MOUNTAINS: by Hélène Cixous; before 2003; a comic dream
My little brother catches and rides a fairy goose down steep mountain slopes, demanding it grant his wishes...
|HIJACK! The Christmas Special: by Wayan; 2012/4/13, a trapped-in-bad-TV dream.
I'm stuck on a jet full of cartoons. We get hijacked by a kid who just wants pilot practice, and then a cactus counterhijacks us...
CAUTION: THE F-WORD
|HILLARY AND TEAL: by "A 24-Year-Old Californian Woman"; around 2008/2/28, an absurd political dream
Hillary Clinton hid her cancer, but the GOP found out. So a monster kidnaps Rainbow Brite, and...
|HILLARY’S EYES: by Margaux Williamson; February 2008, a political romance dream
Hillary Clinton was trying to seduce me, and doing a pretty good job, too...
|HITLER'S CAR: by Wayan; 1982/6/9, I review a creepy book. And then my dreams review ME.
A book claims Hitler's circle was a cult, not a party, out to apply mystical theories--like Manson! Then I dream...
CAUTION: RABID RANTING
|THE HOMONKEYLUS: by Wayan; 1992/6/15, an illustrated dreamloop.
A smiling beauty queen on a float gives birth to a monkey with blinders, then re-absorbs the baby, then...
CAUTION: NUDITY AND ODDITY
|HOP: by Emily Joy, Maddie, and Kathe, 2004/3/31; three linked dreams of a single character
Three friends in one bed dream three dreams in one night about a talking rabbit with a persistent request...
|HOP TO THE SHAH: by Wayan; 2010/5/18, a flying political dream
Diplomacy's failed. To stop the impending Iranian War single-handed, I hop like a monster flea across Iran to corner the New Shah...
|HOT, BOTHERED AND BEWILDERED: by Wayan; 1981/5/8, a dreamtale.
In a club, a new genderbending band. One singer gets me hot, but completely confused--for good reason...
CAUTION: SEXUAL SITUATIONS, GENDERBENDING
|I AND I, or, RENTADATE: by Wayan; 1983/6/18, a dream of ego-loss... or multiplication.
After the revolution, I rule. But I get out of touch. So I throw a party and invite me, myself and I...
|I BLUSH TO REPORT: by Wayan; 1986/12/11, two stupid dreams.
Two embarrassing dreams the same night: I learn why I don't have cancer, and I can't buy giant panties...
|I WANT A SHILLING: Anonymous #4; c.1920?, a dream on the precise value of ideals
I’m at a lecture on Art, Beauty and the Nude, but no one paid the model and he wants a drink...
|I WANT MY INHERITANCE: by Wayan; 1989/12/18, an obsessive dream.
My relatives call me a blonde bimbo and won't give me my inheritance, so I take drastic steps...
CAUTION: MORAL HAIRSPLITTING
|I WAS AN ELEPHANT HANDLER: by Wayan; 1989/4/3, a genderbent stagestruck dream.
I was an elephant trainer longing to be a star--to win the girl on the flying trapeze. Who's probably straight...
CAUTION: FLIRTING LESBIANS, OR POSSIBLY ELEPHANTS, OR MAYBE LIBRARIANS
|ICERINK: by Wayan; 1980/8/23, a warning dream.
Psychodrama seemed like a way to meet cool people. But when I dreamed they were ice-skating rioters...
|IN IO: by Wayan, 1981/8/7, a wild otherworldly dream with 3 illustrations.
I live on Io. It's nicer than its photos. At least inside, where the oceans are--where I grow a second head...
|IN PRAISE OF DREAMS: by Wislawa Szymborska; c. 1992, a paean to why dreamwork's fun
Yes, dreamwork can be heavy, but remember all you can do in dreams...
|INGENIOUS ADVERTISEMENTS: by Elizabeth Kew; 1930s?, a cynical dream come true.
My friend put an ad on her gown, so I try one on our house. I have big ideas for more, but a pickpocket steals them and...
|INUIT MEDITATION: by Wayan; 1989/11/16, a surreal dream-comedy.
I'm the first tuna to get a scholarship to Stanford. Naturally I sign up for a course in Inuit Meditation...
|IRONY: by Wayan; 300K, 2007/6/15. A vertical comicstrip burned into (what else?) an ironing board
I'm so sick of irony I decide to get my sense of irony surgically removed and replace it with...
CAUTION: PLAYING WITH FIRE
|THE IRRATIONALITY OF DREAMS: by Wayan; 1989/12/31, a New Year's dream.
On TV, the first Jungian anima to leave the unconscious is granting an interview. But the questions are...
|IT MUST BE SOMEONE SHE ATE: by Sorcha; 2008/10/11 and mid-Jan. 2009, a recurring comic news-nightmare
Cilda Spitzer and Hillary Clinton sentence America's bimbos to a shitty fate. But what of their cheating husbands?
|JACKPOT: by Catshall; 2007/5/29. A dream on sex, art and change--a flood of change!
How did my bondage dream turn into a slot-machine jackpot? And what kind of change is pouring out?...
CAUTION: (CON)SENSUAL BONDAGE
|JADE JACKPOT, or, A HEAP O' CHANGE: by Wayan; 1990/1/7, a dream of shaking down God.
I'm slipping dimes into a boulder of jade: a vending machine that fills every order wrong. Why feed it? Well...
|JANEWAY'S TANGO: by Wayan, 1998/10/20, a psychic Star Trek dream.
Why is Captain Janeway doing the tango with another woman, in a creek, wearing a mermaid tail?
|JERRY BROWN'S LAW: by Wayan; 2011/4/8; a dream of a political joke. Isn't it a joke?
The State tests my art. I worry they'll stereotype me as another Crumb. So I tell an absurd lie about our governor. But the joke kinda makes sense...
|J.F., T.B. AND ME: by Dream Junkee; 2008/1/24, a lucid nightmare-comedy
Lucid, I summon a sexy literary character. But he tries to take over my personality and make it his lucid dream...
|A JOB WELL DONE: by Wayan; 1981/3/2; a dream-farce.
The tale of a fawn named Fawn and her mom, a bank-robbing hippopotamus...
CAUTION: GLAMORIZES THIS ALARMING TREND
|JOE COOL IN FINANCIAL HELL: by Wayan; 2009/6/15; Dreamverse #46
When the school district goes bankrupt, students flee creditors into a hell-cave. But Joe Cool can skateboard on lava in the pit...
|JOIN THE HUMAN RACE: by Wayan; 1985/2/11, a Gordian dream.
My shortcut in a marathon bogs down in a maze full of psychoanalysts! So I climb the walls and...
|JUMBLE by Nancy Price; 1948, a comically exaggerated predictive dream
A bewildering dream of a boy's borrowed bath, absconding renters' furniture and fly-eating turns real a few weeks later...
|KICK THE PRESIDENT: by Wayan; 1999/6/1, a dream on consequences.
I win a free game of Kick the President. But what if everyone can see your kick-ass Prez but you?
CAUTION: THIS DREAM IS MONITORED BY THE SECRET SERVICE
|KIDNAP LI PO!: by Wayan; 1990/1/16, a poetic dream.
I dream a Chinese fable: how the poet Li Po was abucted by the gods, till they face heavenly justice...
CAUTION: ABDUCTION, DRUNKS, EVIL PUN
|THE KING OF PERSIA: by Wayan; 1990/4/1, an annoying family dream.
My dad has a time machine, so he generously invites the King of Persia over. And offers him MY room...
|KISS THE CATS: by Wayan; 2008/8/23, a dream poem, Dreamverse #13
I have to kiss a mess of cats. Fishy, but I'm not chicken. My real beef is with the humans watching...
|LAING: by R.D. Laing; 1983/2/18, two excerpts from a talk on transpersonal dreams.
R.D. Laing gives two examples of dream-spillage suggesting it's not passive but playful...
|THE LEAD HAZARD OF WITCHES: by Wayan; 2008/11/21; an alternate-world dream
I was in an America where witches are burned and used as landfill, and abused women grow on trees. Yet three of us heal...
CAUTION: CREEPY PARALLEL WORLD
|THE LIMIT OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE: by Wayan; 1974/3/13, a dream of madness.
Deep in the caves, a Voice announces I've gone as far as the human mind can stand. But ahead, I see...
|LION EYES: by Patagia; 2007/11/??, a serious dream-prank.
Lions trap me in an African cave with only coffee, paper and pens! Is this what it takes to get me to write?
|LIONS AND TIGERS: by William Archer's friend; before 1924, a zootheological dream.
At the zoo, Archer's friend found the tigers caged but the lions roaming free. The reason? Lions fear hell, but tigers...
|LITTLE DEVILS: by Roswila, 2007/10/30; a dreamku
A dream haiku of little devils dancing the conga. What's it mean? Well, check the date...
|LITTLE NEMO'S BED: by Winsor McCay; c. 1906, a famous if probably fictional dream icon
Little Nemo's bed gets restless and takes him for a wild ride through town and up onto roofs...
|LOBSTER ECSTASY: by Wayan; 1970/11/1?, a teenage lobster love dream.
One of my first recorded dreams--how I foolishly turned away from Lobster Love...
CAUTION: CHITINOUS SEX
|LONELY NO MORE!: by Wayan; 2000, a sculpture of American singlehood.
The Dating Fairy, built on lonely evenings waiting for her to call me back--whoever "her" was that week...
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEXUAL THEMES
|THE LORD CHANCELOR'S NIGHTMARE: by Gilbert & Sullivan; 1882, a comic song-lyric on insomnia
The Lord Chancelor can't sleep, and when at last he does, he drifts through nightmares full of baby lawyers and potted tradesmen sprouting fruit, and cutthroat corporate scheming. But that's Victorian dreaming!
|THE MAD DATER: by Mark Varitz and Wayan; 1996/10/29, linked (telepathic?) nightmares.
Always ask permission to throw rocks at your date. No, not those big ones! Where's the nearest hospital?
CAUTION: SURREAL DATE ABUSE
|MAFIA DENTIST: by Wayan, 2007/7/10; a predictive comic nightmare.
My dentist (a Haitian Mafia leader) sends a message to my dad (also a Mafia don) by dental cruelty....
|A MAMMOTH FIGHT: by Wayan; 1996/2/26, a dream of another life. A tacky other life.
I'm a fight promoter whose biggest deal ever is maybe too big for me. How'd it become a four-way bout?
CAUTION: CRASS ACT
|MARINE GEOLOGY'S NOT IT: by Wayan; 1984/6/2, a dream farce.
After finding marine geologists in my chocolate pudding, I'd rather be a Frenchman and insult my wife...
|MATISSE: by Wayan; 1988? early digital daydream.
An early piece about Matisse, and his models, and quilting, and disembodied heads...
|MATISSE IS NO MOE: by Wayan; 1988. Matisse-style collage-poem.
An elegy to a great paper-cutter, and three (or was it four?) sado-humorists who still scare me a little...
|MCKILLIP'S NEW BOOK: by Wayan; 2010/7/23, an epic literary dream
I'm inside a magical novel by Patricia McKillip, full of tricksters, cosplayers, spooks, sex changes, levitation and (sigh) riot cops...
CAUTION: COYOTE SEX
|MIND OF A MURDERER: by Mary Arnold-Forster; between 1910 & 1920, a dream on self-justification
I sink into a book on a murderer who rationalizes away all guilt, but pull out thinking "How morbid!"...
|MISSION TO MACEDONIA: by William Archer; 1919/7/6, a pseudo-psychic dream-within-a-dream.
I dream I'm offered a spy-mission to Macedonia, and realize I dreamt of this last night--a prophetic dream! Then wake...
|MORAL MINNOWS: by Wayan; 1992/9/15, a dream of deep politics.
A dream explaining why everyone with any moral vision gets filtered out of politics now...
|MY ART'S IN THE MUSEUM, ALL RIGHT: by Wayan; 1996/2/19, a dream on self-theft.
At last, I get shown in the museum! Sort of. Homeless people sell my art from carts in the lobby. Stolen!...
|MY CUBIST CONSCIENCE: by Wayan; 1983. Sketch of a cubist dream.
I dreamed I was trapped in the maze of my pacifist vegetarian feminist anarchist eco-conscience...
|MY EX-WIFE: by Wayan; 1982/3/23, a dream on delusions.
My ex-wife breaks in, but acts like I'm the one who crawled back to her... and I don't HAVE an ex-wife!
CAUTION: ADULT THEMES. REALLY, REALLY STUPID ADULT THEMES.
|MY POETIC LICENSE: by Wayan; 2008/10/5, a self-referencing dream poem; Dreamverse #33
Renewing one's life has its costs. What if you can't pay the price? A dreamlet of warning and shame...
|NAMELESS HAT: by Elizabeth Kew; 1930s?, a comic dream.
Giant worms put me on trial for wearing a nameless hat, but it turns out I like their punishment, so I taunt the judge...
|NEST, EGGS AND LEGS: by Jenny Badger Sultan; l993/9/7, painting of a comic/transcendent dream
Two friends send energy through me, transforming me. Now that my legs are detachable, I can sit comfortably on my eggs...
|NED'S KISS by Ned's mom and sister Ethel; before 1961, cledonic dreams of a playful revenant
I wished I could kiss my son farewell. That week, Ethel called. "I dreamed Ned kissed you, not me! I was hurt. He laughed like anything and kissed me too..."
|NIXON'S BLANKET POLICY: by Wayan; 1974/5/30, a political dream.
After a class in nonverbal communication, I meet Richard Nixon under embarrassing circumstances...
|NOCTURNAL HAIRCUTS: by two of Pliny the Younger's servant boys; 96 AD. Subliminal? Oracular? Prank? All three?
Two boys dream robed figures climb in the window to cut their hair--and find, awake, someone has. While Pliny learns...
|NORTH FLEET OF THE RAIN: by Wayan; 1974/7/10, an early dream .
A vast galactic fleet hovers around Earth, demanding Rain. What? I fight one of the aliens... and find out.
CAUTION: ADOLESCENT HUMOR. IF THAT.
|O LA LA, WHAT A STRANGE DREAM: by Julie Doucet; 1989, a comic space sex dream
Mom gave me cookies for my three-year solo spaceflight. Special cookies for both ends of me...
CAUTION: NUDITY, BAD SEX ADVICE
|THE OBSERVER EFFECT, OR, WATCH THE WATCH: by Wayan; 1997/1/21, a dream of time and opticks.
After seeing an Einstein biography I find myself in the bathrooms of Thought-Experiment High, and...
CAUTION: DARK SIDE OF AN ICON
|OLD ADAM: by Robert Southey; 1804/12/7, a comic dreamlet.
I meet the original Adam. He complains Eve neglects him, but he hopes to meet one of his cleverer descendants...
|OLD HAT: by Wayan; 1988/1/5, a "normal" (i.e. incoherent) dream.
The Goddess gave birth in my workplace. Her fever-dreams become real around us...
CAUTION: BIRTH SCENE, LIBRARIANS' ORGY
|OLDER AND YOUNGER: by 'Rasselon'; 2009/11/17, a dream of erotic deviousness
The older sorceress I'm in bed with plans to marry me off to a younger woman, but I distract her with my tongue...
CAUTION: BEDROOM HUMOR
|ORBITING MOM: by Wayan; 1997/1/7, an uh-oh dream.
I'm trying to get a moontan when my mom appears. My astral body starts orbiting her like a moon. Uh-oh...
|ORCA TOWS: by Wayan; 1984/5/25, a dream with impact.
I show an Ohio friend the latest California sport. We haven't quite worked out how to land just yet...
|ORE PIRATES, by Wayan, 2009/5/29; a dream-poem, Dreamverse #45
I'm in prehistoric Baja mining nuggets that howl, when pterodactyl-worshiping pirates glide in to snatch our ore...
|PALE BLUE: by Wayan; 1997/5/12, a dream on denial.
I pray for love and promptly meet Blue, whose mom treats her like a kid. We change that, but it's messy...
|PIANOBED: by Wayan; 2012/1/22, a health-advisory dream.|
I forgot how to play my pianobed, so I just thrash around in it. And thus thrash music is born (sorry)...
|PIKE JOURNAL: by Wayan; 1984/11/14, a small psychic dream.
I'm peeking at Pike's Peak with Gregory Peck, as we seek my dream-journals in the Hawaiian jungles...
CAUTION: STUPID PSYCHIC PUNS
|THE PIRATE TWINS: by Wayan; 1996/7/25, a dreamtale on intrigue.
I love the Twins. They love intrigue. So when a hired crocodile sabotages our Egyptian treasure-hunt...
CAUTION: BAD GIRLS
|PIXY CONCUSSION: by Wayan; 200K, 2006/3/25, six images; a diagnostic sex dream?
Janet's obsessed with a creepy guy, until her friend Kay--a pixy--decides to knock some sense into her cunt...
CAUTION: LANGUAGE, EMBARRASSING SITUATION, NASTY LOVE SPELL
|PLANET-SCULPTING APE: by "AE" (George Russell); mid-1870s, a childhood characterological dream.
On a cloud in space I met an ape molding a model of the Earth, glancing at the original far below us. We were much alike...
|POIROT AND THE DICKHEADS: by Wayan; 2010/3/11, a comic antilucid dream|
I'm detective Hercule Poirot, but I'm losing my case and my brain--because my story isn't by Agatha Christie, it's a knockoff...
CAUTION: PINK DILDO HATS
|PREGNANCY FROM HELL: by Wayan; 1994/6/6, a predictive dream-farce.
I'm pregnant with the Antichrist. This is going to ruin my vacation! Why do I think this is all about money?
|PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD: by Wayan; 2009/10/19, a dream poem w/sketch and map; Dreamverse #61
I get stuck with a one-year mandatory gig as President of the World just as Saudi Arabia collapses, and fools rush in...
|THE PRIME DIRECTIVE: by Wayan; 1994/3/9, a pro-meddling dream.
A bunch of primitives try to trick their way into the Federation, slipping around the Prime Directive...
|PSYCHIC FAMILIES ARE SO MUCH FUN: by Wayan; 1980/7/21, a true story of ESP.
My sister's avoiding our nosy parents, but I sense they'll run into her soon. I just didn't know HOW soon...
|PYLONS: by Louis MacNeice; Jan. 1940. A surreal political dream.
I was on a steamer run amok, in a boiling yellow incredible sea out of which great pylons rose...
|THE PYRAMID COW: by Wayan; 1999/12/18, a dreamtale.
Protestors occupy the Transamerica Pyramid and install a cow as CEO... a Cash Cow?
|RACK: by Wayan; 2006/4/4; a comic business-bondage dream
My friend Chris gets tied up at the office--that's his job, looking martyred! But when the boss is away...
|RATTLER BANQUET: by Wayan; 1993/1/29, a farcical nightmare poem.
My parents invite me to dinner, but my mom chases a rattlesnake up my leg. Then I wake to find two holes in my...
|RAVEN AT 5 O'CLOCK: by Raven and Wayan; 1996/11/30. Shared but stupid psychic dreams.
My girlfriend Raven dreams I keep poking her awake, while I dream that a different kind of raven gives me weird advice...
|RECURRING SCHOOL NIGHTMARE: by Julie Doucet; July 1995, a dream of... oh, read the title!
Trapped in elementary school, Julie is forced to study the alphabet until she declares "I'm a professional cartoonist, goddammit!"...
|REMARKABLE: by Joseph Wilkins; 1754, an out-of-body dream
Wilkins visits his parents in a dream. Only they think he's a ghost, and panic--in the real world...
|A RENAISSANCE WOMAN: by Wayan; 1997/7/3, a dreamtale.
I'm an abused girl turning tricks to survive. But this is San Francisco: I join a prostitutes' co-op, and meet...
CAUTION: PROSTITUTES WITH SELF-RESPECT, OH NO!
|REQUIEM FOR GINGER: MAGNIFICAT: by Lily; 2008/1/31, a dream on facing loss.
I dream I’m telling a tall tale about a cat-funeral with hung-over mice pulling the hearse. But it all turns a bit too real...
|ROCKY LOVE: by Wayan; 1984/1/18, a dream farce.
A friend's tragic accident confines him to disco roller skates for life! Worse yet, he's in a Rocky Relationship...
CAUTION: "ROCKY HORROR" REFS, SEX
|THE ROYAL NONESUCH: by Wayan; 1988/4/15, a dream on the media.
My mom and sister take me to see a bondage film. But the movie steals my pants! I should have known...
CAUTION: WORSE THAN PEEWEE HERMAN
|THE SAN DIEGO CENTAURS: by Wayan; 1985/1/9, a slice-of-life dream.
In San Diego, I fly around disrupting the UFO games in the junkyard, till I reconnect with a centaur friend
|SANTA CLUMP: by Wayan; 2009/9/16, a dream-poem; Dreamverse #54
I find myself sitting on toy trains and fake snow as I'm told a fable: how a herd of department-store Santas got lost in a blizzard...
|SATANAGRAM: by Wayan; 1998/8/1, a Christmas song lyric.
A hard-hitting rap on Satan's dumbest disguise. Yet he's gotten away with it! The shocking truth...
CAUTION: LANGUAGE! SACRILEGE! MUCILAGE! (FOR THE BIG WHITE BEARD)
|THE SEA-HAG RIOT: by Wayan; 100K, 1989/6/5, a wild dream hiding a warning.
Aliens, hypnotherapy, dancing molars, riots, witches, flying pianos, lettuce... yet there is a point.
|SELF-MADE COW: by Wayan; 2013/4/10, a surreal psychic dream.
I'm in Santa Cruz with my friend, a shocking-pink stuffed toy cow with sewed-on accessories: big red lips, a floral wig, and a third eye. I wake, draw the cow--and my sister calls from Santa Cruz to sing me a song about...
|SENTENCED TO CHEESE: by a Birmingham physician; early 1850s? a classic subliminal nightmare
One night I had to sleep above a cheese shop. I dreamt I was trapped in a huge cheese, as a horde of rats gnawed...
CAUTION: YOU ARE LUNCH
|SHHHH!: by Wayan; 628 x 318, 1981, ink drawing.
A sudden image of a woman whose other lips not only talked, they wouldn't shut up. Worse yet, they...
|SHIRT GIRL: by Zooop and Wayan; 1993/10/17, a shared, embarrassing telepathic dream.
A fictional niece acting sexy in a shirt, plus... water balloons? I woke, and a friend told me HER dream...
CAUTION: DREAM INCEST, KIDS WITH GUNS, AND GENERAL WEIRDNESS
|THE SHRINKING POPE: by Sorcha; 2005/4/1, a Jane Bond dream
I’m the only one who can stop the plot to kill the Pope--but if he keeps shrinking like that, will it matter?
CAUTION: RECOVERING CATHOLIC
|SILK PINS: by Wayan; 1992/5/13, a self-mocking dream.
I'm a trade rep for Terra, on a new world. But an old rival, a rep from another world, arrives, and...
CAUTION: DRUGS AND SHARP THINGS
|SIPHONIAN QUARTET: by Wayan; 2010/4/10, four baffling parallel-world dreams
Purple squid saboteurs flood our cliffhouse; my oyster-ranching girlfriend has a snotty aunt; I wake in a stranger's bondage dream and hate it; shepherds watch for gliderwolves on the ocean floor...
CAUTION: EMBARRASSING BONDAGE DREAM
|SKUNK? SWALLOW!: by Wayan; 1981/5/7, a dream-joke with a point.
When I see two scary men on the trail, naturally, I swallow my skunk! I really don't recommend...
|SKY-THAW; 2012/6/8 by Wayan; a comic surreal political dream-poem
While watching two rooftop actors (one a chicken) I noticed the icebergs in the sky were melting at last...
|SLEIPNIR: by Wayan; 1987/3/31, a dumb physics dream.
I'm at a physics conference. A new force has been discovered that may allow faster than light travel...
|SLUG ETHICS: by Wayan; 1974/10/7, an undream tale.
A man who wants to love and respect all life has unwanted kitchen guests: a wave of slugs...
|THE SMILING SHAW MACHINE: by W.B. Yeats; 1894/4/19, a nightmare about popular success.
After Shaw's Arms and the Man eclipsed my own play The Land of Heart's Desire, I dreamt that I was haunted by...
|SNOT-BIRD FORGERY!: a gross dream by Samuel Pepys, 1667/6/29, and a nightmare by Thomas Macaulay, c.1857
Samuel Pepys dreamt of kidneystones, pee, come, & snot--or did he? Thomas Macauley dreams his niece confesses...
|SO AROUSAL MEANS REM?: by Wayan; 1999/5/19, a dream on dreams.
My sexual orientation shifts arbitrarily, turned on one second, off the next. Who's at the controls?
CAUTION: SEXUAL CONFUSION
|SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED: by Wayan; 1978/10/26, a dreamtale.
A demigoddess and a wizard meddle with humans. But do even THEY know what they're assembling?
|SOULS IN THE MUD: by Wayan; 1981/1/14, a thoughtful dream.
I'm being hunted in Reincarnation Swamp, as I wonder if the glut of human bodies creates a soul shortage...
CAUTION: ABSURD THEORY
|SPARROWHAWK: by "Anonymous #14"; before 1963, a tiny, vivid, precise, yet contextless predictive dream
I dreamt a sparrowhawk perched on my shoulder. Next morning a friend was given a stuffed sparrowhawk. He crept up and...
|SPEAKING FERN: by Wayan; 1991/3/25, a dream-prank.
A dead fern in my backyard starts sending me messages in some strange language...
|SPLAT!: by Wayan; 1995/12/11, a science-fiction dream.
Our physics project is top secret, but a stranger strolls into a meeting and opens a can of green light...
|SPLINTER: by Wayan; 1981/3/14, a dream of love and nagging.
I love Splinter, but her mom insists I got BOTH of them pregnant. Then I notice I'm pregnant too...
CAUTION: SEX, NAGGING
|SPOCK'S SPIRITS: by Wayan; 2000/3/12, a financial-advice dream.
Lost in a dark maze of machine-shops, I follow Mr. Spock, who's drunk, and talks to tree-spirits...
CAUTION: ALCOHOL AS INSPIRATION?
|SPOON CHALLENGE: by Emily Joy; 2006/8/30, a mathemagical dreamlet.
I want to drink the elixir, but negative twenty spoons block me! Can I remove them? With warped teacup logic and reciprocals…
|SQUASH WITH WHITE SAUCE: by Wayan; 1983/12/17, not a symbolic dream, no no
I'm in a department store trying on clothes when I notice there's a large zucchini growing from my crotch...
CAUTION: SQUASHY PENIS, ICKY RECIPE
|A SQUIRRELY BUSINESS PLAN: by Wayan; 2009/3/2, a Looney-Toons dream
I'm slow to catch on that this guy's business-plan slideshow isn't about profit; it's about seduction...
CAUTION: ABSURD LOVE TRIANGLE, KINKY SKUNK
|SQUISH!: by Farelle-Moon; early 2006, drawn 2006/4/6, a comic furry sex dream
I went to bed with a stuffed wolf, and found myself in a hot tub with a cute wolf guy, only now I seemed plush...
CAUTION: FURRY NUDITY
|STEAMROLLER: by Richard Wilbur, late 20th Century; an embarrassing dream.
As the steamroller flattened me I tried to rise above it all and my body became quite a lovely stained-glass window...
|STEPHANIE GODOT: by Wayan; 1994/12/14, a waking comedy of two dreamworkers.
My unconscious sabotages a lunch date with my friend Stephanie. The tricks get weirder, till...
|STINKING RICH: by Wayan; 1993/1/20, a dream about class.
I envy and resent a rich family's mansion so much I break in and sabotage their giant meat freezer...
CAUTION: HOSTILITY, ENVY, WASTE OF BAD FOOD
|STRANGE AUDITION: by Nancy Price; 1948, a predictive theatre-dream
All the actors auditioning for Shaw’s play are weird mixtures of human, avian, and bestial. And Shaw’s in the balcony, listening...
|SUCK MY CONE!: by Wayan, 1995/1/11, a bluesy dream.
Nerds built the blues. Rick Moranis, famous blues-nerd, makes a groupie suck his ice cream cone...
CAUTION: MOCKS MUSIC, RACE, VANILLA ICE (CREAM)...
|SURPRISE THAT PENIS: by Wayan; 1986/2/18, a subtly psychic dream.
I hijack a Lacewing Chopper to install a new rubber-band engine, but the motor becomes a talkative penis, and...
CAUTION: ONE WEIRD WEENIE
|SUZETTE: by Wayan; 1981/2/20, a defiant sex/art dream with no one to defy
I dreamed that I drew our dog and me mating, and then found the drawing on a gallery wall for all to see...
CAUTION: CARTOON BESTIALITY
|THE SWAFFHAM TINKER: by John Chapman and a London shopkeeper; 1460s?, two linked, complementary dreams.
Chapman dreams he must go to London and stand on London Bridge; when he does, a stranger tells him "dreams are nonsense! Why, I dreamt of buried treasure a hundred miles from here, in some town called..."
|SWALLOWED!: by Wayan; 1990/7/30, a warning dream.
An ancient pictograph inspires me to try a meditative technique: shrinking and letting myself be eaten...
CAUTION: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME
|SWEATERPANTS FOR CHRIST!: by Wayan; 2011/6/30, a comic sartorial nightmare poem
I pull my mom's sweater onto my legs but get tangled (and bits of anatomy dangle). Worse, I'm emulating Jesus...
CAUTION: WARDROBE DYSFUNCTION. IN FACT, GENERAL MASCULINITY DYSFUNCTION.
|SYBIL SUE FLANNERY: by Wayan, 1986/10/29, a dream noir.
I'm Sybil Sue, a hard-boiled shapeshifting shamus, on the track of the most wanted bankrobbers in LA: the Bad Girls...
CAUTION: IN BETWEEN GUNSHOTS, THE BAD GIRLS SWEAR
|TAHOE TAROT: by Wayan; 1988/4/13, a silly mystic flying dream.
My sister and I are playing cards in the air high over Lake Tahoe. Playing for the world. But we cheat...
|TAROT: HAW!: by Wayan; 30K. Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1978.
Humor's one of the big emotions--laughter's as loud and uncontrollable as crying or orgasm...
|TARTAN ACID SPIDER TORPEDO: by "Thomas Mountain"; 2008/1/31, a cliffhanger dream.
I get speared by Irish warriors, slipped an LSD dose, chased by giant spiders, torpedoed--but hey, I'm not bored!
|TEETH IN HIS THIGH: by Wayan; 2008/10/30, an embarrassing dream-poem: Dreamverse #37
The Conference on Love has two sexy speakers. One says "my teacher's stalking me" but she clings to him. Love? Hate? Both?
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM--but what are these two exhibiting?
|TEHURA TRIES COMICS: by Wayan; 1994/7/19. pencil, Xerox, erasable crayon.
I dreamed a sphinx artist visited humanity and drew the crazy natives. I copied her sketchbook and notes...
CAUTION: NUDITY, PAGANISM, SLACKERISM, ACTUAL IDEAS
|TEMENOS: by Wayan; 1997/6/17, a psychic dream.
I'm at a Robert Bly camp for men only. But I'm no man--not even human--some faun or satyr-like species...
CAUTION: A TEMENOS IS A SACRED PHALLIC IMAGE
|TENNIS UNDER STRANGE CIRCUMSTANCES by Nancy Price; 1948, a frustrating dream-farce with a warning
Our tennis game's spoiled by rubber rackets, fierce grandmas, Good and Evil (those identical twins) and a bully on stilts...
|TEST: by Wayan; 1994. Dream-inspired digital poster/quiz.
I dreamed I had to take a bewildering test on who is allowed in the military. I flunked. So will you...
CAUTION: MOCKS HOMOPHOBES
|THAR SHE BLOWS!: by Madeline; 2008/3/27, a pirate mermaid shipwreck sex dream.
On the run I meet a lycan, a pirate, and a mermaid. She causes a flood, and something floats by I just have to grab...
CAUTION: IMPLIED SEX
|THREE-YEAR PREGNANCY: by Ithmonike of Pellene, ca. 320 BC? Two dreams of meeting an odd god.
I was barren. I asked Asklepios, God of Healing, to make me pregnant. Soon I was. And so I stayed--for 3 years, until...
|THOSE BITCHES! OOPS, I MEAN... GREAT GODDESS!: by Wayan; 1988/8/19, a dyslexic dream.
I live in a beehive. We must mate with dogs. I'm assigned a bitch. But I'm allergic to gods! Oops, I mean...
CAUTION: SEXUAL THEME, DOGGESS WORSHIP
|TIME IS A CROC: by Wayan; 80K total, 1993/3/29, a dream on time.
Golfing in the basement! But the ball lands in another world, where the water hazards are hazards...
|TO KEEP HIM COMPANY: by Robert Southey; 1806/1/23; a Wertheresque suicide dream-comedy
My German friend resolved to commit suicide, so I agreed to poison myself to keep him company...
|TOADFISH TOWERS: by Wayan; 1992/8/6, a psychic little dreamtale.
I'm in Houston, gawking at giant starfishy towers looming through the smog. Their shapes are familiar...
|TOASTING FORK: by Charles Dickens, August 1843, a surreal tragicomic dream.
A gentleman clad but in a sheet notified me that an old friend had died of a terrible disease. What disease? Well...
|TORTILLA EARS: by Wayan; 1994/6/2, a short shamanic dream.
Why's Mexico City built where it is? And why is corn called "ears"? It turns out these questions are linked...
|A TOUR OF YOUR BRAIN: by Wayan's brain, 3.4MB (MP3 + lyrics), May 2004, a rock-jig.
A bouncy, lobe-by-lobe musical tour of your brain with Buddha as your tourguide...
|THE TROUBLE WITH TUBAS: dreamed 1997/7/1 by Wayan; a warning-song heard in a dream
I dreamed I played a song-game with my friend Mark and this weird phrase came out. When I woke I saw it was a warning...
|TROUT BECK by Nancy Price; summer 1933, an aerial comic dream-epic
I'm carried off by a crane, to meet birdfish, singing sheep, fell-spirits, mad shopkeepers and devil-bulls...
|TRUMP ON THE RUN: by Wayan; 1990/3/8, an illustrated dreamtale.
The manhunt is on for Donald Trump, rich sociopath. But he too is pursuing something: happiness...
|TWENTY-SIX LETTERS, or, A Complete Summary of Poesy; early August 1992 by Wayan and Cory; a haiku slam?|
You get 26 dice with letters on every face. Roll them all. Your haiku must use every letter. Go!
|UN-AMERICAN FANTASIES: by Wayan; 1996/7/19, a dreamtale.
The All-American Family visits the fabulous Un-American Fantasy Store, where Mom is in for a shock...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY, LANGUAGE
|UNCLE JUPITER: by Wayan; 1998/9/3, a dreamtale.
My uncle is Jupiter. Not the god, the planet. All my relatives are planets. So am I. And I'm invaded...
|UNHAPPY CAMPERS: by Wayan; 1997/9/1, a stupid dream.
Since when is a dream of a disastrous camping trip a medical diagnosis? It depends on your pun-tolerance...
|USEFUL PIGS: by Wayan; 1995/1/2, a comic nightmare.
In my nightmare, TV ads push new, supposedly eco-friendly uses for pigs, until this alarming ad...
|VERY FUNNY, MR. MOSLEY: by Wayan; 2009/10/8, a dream poem with sketches; Dreamverse #58
Trapped in a blend of Joan of Arcadia and The Tempest Tales, I'm tired of being the pratfall sidekick...
|THE VIDEOGRAPHER'S APPRENTICE: by Wayan; 165K, 1994/7/29, a predictive/warning dream.
Blondie Wiggle builds a Video Igloo. But I'm allergic--TV kills me! A BAD omen for our video project...
CAUTION: TV KILLS (BUT YOU KNEW THAT)
|WHAT GOD BELIEVES IN: by Wayan; 1984/9/23, a dream of working for a difficult deity
God's my boss, but like a bratty little brother, he's Not Speaking To Me. It's slowing down our office...
CAUTION: CHRISTIANS WON'T WANT TO KNOW
|WHAT MEN HIDE BEHIND: by Wayan; 1992/11/30, an alarming comic dream
The real pursuit of happiness: Happiness pursues ME, and I run in shame and hide! But she's persistent...
|WHAT TO DO IN A WIZARD'S LAIR: by Wayan; 2013/4/23, a comic dreamlet
A friend who's a sorceror's apprentice shows me his Dark Master's tower. And the bed strewn with stuffed animals. I just can't resist...
|WHO'LL BE MY LOVE?: by Wayan; 1986/4/14, a dream noir farce; part 4 of UNICORN TAG.
I'm a hardboiled detective wincing as I grill a meek little psychic (who might just be me) about embarrassing subjects like unicorns, and love...
CAUTION: A UNICORN WHO MAKES EVEN THE COPS BLUSH
|WHY I BECAME THE SEA: by Wayan; 1980/6/19, a dream of containment.
I get so mad at a bunch of cops who harass gays, that I become the sea itself and chase them...
CAUTION: UNCHARITABLE REPRESENTATION OF OUR SAINTS IN BLUE
|WORKIN' FOR PEANUTS: by Wayan; 1990/12/11, a crude but perceptive dream.
I'm an elephant working in a diner. In the bathroom, I inadvertently summon the Genie of the Urinal...
CAUTION: PISSED PACHYDERM
|THE WORLD NEWS: by Nathaniel Hawthorne; 1843; a dream-job (and career advice?)
I dreamt the world itself hired me, at a generous salary, to report its great affairs exactly as they happen...
|YAKETY YAK: by Wayan; 1984/5/1, a dysfunctional dreamtale.
I'm at a family dinner. Killer Grampa, kid-hating Ma, larcenous Dad. Then a bum offers some advice...
|YELLOW SERENADE: by Wayan; 1979/2/22, an absurd dreamtale.
Restrain yourself! Or you too may end up on a giraffe rollerskating down the freeway singing perverted popsongs...
|YOU CHIPHEAD! : by Wayan, 1997/1/31, a sarcastic dream.
Chips are faster than brains these days, so everyone's upgrading--everyone but me...
|"YOU'RE SO GAY!": by Wayan; 2013/1/24. A psychic dream of a time-short oracle.
I'm in line to meet a shockingly accurate psychic. But she's running late, so as I frame my question...
CAUTION: I'M NOT GAY BUT I SURE AM QUEER
|YOUR TURN: by Julian Green; 1933/10/18, a surreal but fair-minded dream.
I was nineteen again, riding my horse down a bad road in Virginia. After three hours, my horse spoke up...
|YUPPIE BREAKUP: by Wayan; 1991/5/22, a dream on values--or the lack thereof.
A yuppie idealist discovers her boyfriend's a cheerful opportunist, and they disentangle their lives...
CAUTION: SEX IN REVERSE
|ZYGOTE: by Wayan; 1999, a comic astral vision.|
It's true: after death, angels advise you where to go next. But what if you get an over-eager travel agent?
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