I fall in love, defying dwarf-tossers and Toulouse-Lautrec, till I become a time-traveling bunny...
CAUTION: SEX, SIZE DISCRIMINATION AND SLANDER
Adrian and Jennifer and Michelle try very very hard to get my attention, but I'm a bit oblivious...
CAUTION: SEXUAL STUPIDITY
A sexy comedian and her troubles down the drain. A dream that turned out to be true...
Weird paintings cover a hill town in Africa, demanding I paint them when I wake. Paintings on courage, flight... and defying tradition.
A late-night conversation with the proud developer of a new concept in South Asian convenience dining...
My sister Althea decides my house has demons, and hires an exorcist who botches things, so that...
A chronological orgy of my self-images from childhood on: horses, geeks, girls, satyrs, boys, monsters...
CAUTION: SEX
I'm a ghost watching future archeologists dig up a site of my people and get it so wrong...
Why has no one noticed that the side effects of a household appliance violate all known physics?
Golden Gate Park's arboretum, in San Francisco, is home to feral cats, skunks, raccoons, people...
It was a dark and stormy night. I was lost, till I stumbled on God in her underground control room...
I erase my sexual tape, and start from scratch. Uh-oh, blank! Am I male, female, gay, straight? And... what SPECIES?
CAUTION: MESSY SEXUAL BOOBOOS
A New Age graduation party spurs a wild dream of the spiritual odyssey of Catwoman, starring Alexander the Great, Batman, God, and Rumi the poet (played by Frank Zappa)...
CAUTION: MORAL RELATIVITY
My friend Beryl borrows my ass and legs to become a centaur so she won't fall over. I want them back, so...
CAUTION: CRUDE AND STUPID
My friend Beryl wants me to help rob a bank, so she can cut off her breasts and be a great opera singer...
My crazy friend Wayne goes bowling for busses with a black egg. Wait! Crazy? Or... predictive?
CAUTION: GEORGIA O'KEEFFE BEHAVES DISGRACEFULLY
A bubble of spacetime distortion lands in a very awkward place...
I'm a wizard chasing crooked politicians in a big city. They have a car, I hop a trolley, only on the astral plane it's a giant blue millipede, and...
CAUTION: RECKLESS DRIVING, THEFT OF PUBLIC MILLIPEDE
I seek a stolen magic necklace, but end up dating the thief, an elf-queen with STRANGE taste in cookery...
CAUTION: BAD SOUP
Soul-Poodle is torn between Le Bone Dieu and Dancing Pussy. Who will our horny dogma chase?
CAUTION: MUTT SMUT
The world's first all-bulemic band, Veronica and the Vomits, provokes a riot at our local punk club. So I go to Anorexic Bootcamp and join an army of models learning self-defense under fire, as calories and fat jokes whiz by...
CAUTION: SKINNY GIRLS WHO MAKE YOU WANT TO BARF--no wait, that's a bad idea!
My evil twin, Boris Badenov, wants $8000 or else. I ask my dreams for a solution, and get one...
Flu. Ow, cramps! But that night I dream of a miner's rebellion against our fat-cat boss. Which side am I on?
When girls get their clits cut, even the UN takes notice. But mutilate boy genitals, and... big yawn!
CAUTION: TALK ABOUT SEX AND VIOLENCE--BUT HEY, IT'S ONLY BOYS
I'm bad. I'm really bad. I know I shouldn't have done it. But my mail-order breasts were late...
CAUTION: BREAST THEFT
I meet William F. Buckley and his beloved pet pig. Only the hog's a live H-Bomb, and the leash is a trigger...
CAUTION: REPULSIVE GUY, REPULSIVE PET, REPULSIVE ISSUE
Gosh, I'm speechless. How Zen! Market me at once!
CAUTION: MOCKS RELIGION. OR ADVERTISING. ONE OF THOSE.
In a world dominated by dinosaurs, I get in trouble for publishing a tale of forbidden mammal love...
On the beach, seated at The Piano, director Jane Campion warns "Avoid Hollywood, they'll snip away at your vision..."
News of a new national park fused with a science show on cleaner-fish spur a fantasy of dolphins, cats and...
CAUTION: FISH ORGY; MOCKS THE ANGEL MORONI, TOO
My cat keeps going into heat and sneaking out for sex with my godmother's pet crab, and...
CAUTION: SEX, BAD PUNS, CRABBINESS
My writer-friend Cecy will do anything to get published. Anything? Oh, believe me, ANYTHING...
CAUTION: BONDAGE, not to mention POSTAGE
At a snake-weaving party I flirt with my anima, who tells me how the cake fell off the roof. I think "At last we're really connecting!"...
Me and my sisters at the beach. Strangers rarely think we're related, and you can see why...
An experiment with digital textures that fascinated me. Not a dream, just feels like it.
Worried you're anorexic? Gain weight, yet stay slender! Become a centaur, like model Paulina Porizkova...
CAUTION: NUDITY and BODY IMAGE/ANOREXIA ISSUES
I'm in school on a chimp scholarship and it's time for my final exam...
Chips are faster than brains these days, so everyone's upgrading--everyone but me...
My skateboard-riding mermaid girlfriend and I bind ourselves together by the magical power of names...
Hillary Clinton and George W. Bush were having a secret love affair, and I was sharing their bed...
I work with ten cloned models who want to be seen as individuals, so they're breaking up the set...
Being a hippie artist in San Francisco today feels like being an animal in an African game park...
A castle with horse statues in the moat. Only... one of them is alive! He's my lover...
CAUTION: EVERY SEX TABOO YOU CAN THINK OF
I knew my new girlfriend was the large economy size but I didn't realize she was a gas giant until...
CAUTION: FLATULENT PLANETARY NUDITY
A visit to the Conches, a strange race who are only people intermittently, seasonally...
Calvin Coolidge takes over the White House and invites his rich fossil friends over for a bath...
Coyote's pagan parody of the Christian Lord's prayer. Well, actually, it's kind of sweet..
CAUTION: SACRILEGE, ESPECIALLY THE BIT ABOUT TEMPTATION
A true tale proving the Trickster God really will provide. We're lilies of the field!
I’m an Asian kid in Pacifica, California. My parents annoy me, so I offer them for sale on Craigslist. A cop appears...
The only man in the Miss America Japanese Tea Ceremony Swimsuit Pageant, I learn a tearful lesson...
CAUTION: DYSFUNCTIONAL FLIRTING
That broccoli business made the new pope controversial, but when he goes off to find his girlfriend...
CAUTION: CATHOLIC SACRILEGE I'M SURE
How I cursed Isabella the sofa sorceress, cursed her with a blueberry. And why that stinks...
CAUTION: UNDER THE MAGIC, IDEAS
I'm trapped in a cutesy cartoon universe! Worse, to judge a beauty contest, I have to see past our style to our souls...
How my dad got onto the board of directors and made the organization his own...
On Thursdays, in Tungusia, looking at your watch could save your life...
CAUTION: DEFAMES SIBERIANS
While going through a painful breakup, I kept having sexy, lucid, psychic dreams...
Wayan dreams of surprising Dawn on the toilet while she dreams that flushing away evidence of Foul Play won't work...
I die young, to get it over with, like chickenpox. As I slowly revive, I face bias against the dead. So..
Watching a slideshow, in a room of deaf women, I find no one can hear me in either English or Sign...
Evangelists pester me, until I'm so mad I make an on-the-spot deal with...
CAUTION: MAD AT CHRISTIANS AGAIN
I stumble into the middle of my own dream and struggle to figure out just what the hell I'm talking about...
The dinosaurs I meet manage to prove BOTH time-travel theories! Yet they're contradictory...
My paleontologist mom can scuttle like a lizard, so why can't she manage a dinosaur gait?
I'm trapped in a nature documentary about mating displays among humans...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, PBS NARRATION, AND OTHER EMBARRASSMENTS
I get a job in China teaching bus-driving dogs how to fly. I don't know how. Luckily, the dogs...
Tarot with Dolly Parton. But I piss her off. "Men! You think I'm dumb, cuz of my tits!" She fixes THAT...
CAUTION: STUPID BREAST HUMOR BUT AT LEAST IT'S NOT GRUESOME
My hunting license won’t let me legally shoot a giraffe or ibex, but I do bag a prime Macy’s salesman...
CAUTION: LICENSE TO KILL
I project I'll make a lot more money soon. Good, now I can support all my lazy friends! Wait...
While we're making crop-circles in the field of psychotherapy, my hypnotist and I start to argue...
I meet two women in dream-prison. One's a giant, one a miniature. A fairy? She says, 'No, I'm..."
An experimental helmet knocks me out. I'm groggy, miserable, till I learn what it did to others...
I was on one of the package dream-tours, an hour here, a scene there. But then, in Patagonia...
CAUTION: CREEPING PAGANISM
Concerned about my health, I up my fiber intake. But not from the usual sources, though...
CAUTION: BAD DIETARY ROLE MODEL
A young, naive, ethereal dream gets an Animus to guide her through the crazy material plane...
CAUTION: GRATUITOUS WILLIAM SHATNER
In a field in the Central Valley, I face the Terror of California...
CAUTION: FIENDISH LEFTIST PROPAGANDA
I'm trapped in a TV documentary on nuclear war! Better dive through a TV screen and find a safe sitcom...
A sardonic little poster on dating-role reversal with helpful advice...
CAUTION: NUDITY AND INTRUSIVE PHALLUS
Inspired by a fashion outtake of model and director clowning. I fused the director and the camera, and...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY
My fever-dreams manifest physically and mess up my whole neighborhood. Seismic inspectors arrive...
While my body expels a kidney stone, weird scenes happen on the astral plane. At least I get to dip the pope.
CAUTION: PAIN, PEE, POPE
Coming down with a virus, I dream of a guy who INSISTS we must fight, it's just so FUN...
A model who created absurd, impossible poses, and held them heroically...
CAUTION: SILLY NUDITY
I meet a monster--half earthworm, half giraffe. Then I realize she’s kind of cute...
I'm a monster working in a shopping mall in Stockton, California, when I smell smoke...
CAUTION: FILM NOIR SEX
My eighth grade class is a flock of birds migrating south for the winter, but we don't migrate the easy way...
My lesbian twin, who lives in the unemployment line, falls in love with a pushy moose from Brooklyn...
CAUTION: INEPT SEX
My car's idling too fast. After hours of diagnosis, I notice a foot's on the gas! Only it's not MY foot...
I was the first woman made High Commissioner of Baseball. One day a team of mutants begs a franchise...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, BAD TEAMWORK, HORNY BEES
We're interviewing new housemate candidates. Only I fail to recognize that one is my own shadow...
My parents pray for my success, and arrange a great learning opportunity for me. Really.
My house is a bar that never closes. You know what a gay bar is. Well, we're the opposite: a....
CAUTION: BAD VIBES
Walking around my brother's farm, I met this goat with a human head. It seemed like he'd been playing with matches...
The old cartoon character Gordo has another girlfriend. But his pets say he only loves the hunt, not her...
James Hillman is the first psychologist on the moon! Only he sees, not HIS shadow, but MINE...
I grew extra penises which bud off me like fruit. So I fry them up like sausages, and...
CAUTION: GENITALIA FOR LUNCH
My best friend is a cat. Problem is, I'm a rare hawk--a Cat-Eater. I never, ever would, but...
Who built the tornado in the Heartland, that sucks anyone who opens their spirit-wings down to Hell?
CAUTION: BAD THEOLOGY, WORSE PHYSICS
I'm an organic almond grower who's solved the Luminous Snail problem. But my neighbor has an agenda...
I'm a holy man sneaking into a sewerpipe at the beach, to pop anxiety pills in shame. Do they even work?
CAUTION: CHEMICAL CRUTCHES
Hillary Clinton hid her cancer, but the GOP found out. So a monster kidnaps Rainbow Brite, and...
Hillary Clinton was trying to seduce me, and doing a pretty good job, too...
A book claims Hitler's circle was a cult, not a party, out to apply mystical theories--like Manson! Then I dream...
CAUTION: RABID RANTING
A smiling beauty queen on a float gives birth to a monkey with blinders, then re-absorbs the baby, then...
CAUTION: NUDITY AND ODDITY
Three friends in one bed dream three dreams in one night about a talking rabbit with a persistent request...
In a club, a new genderbending band. One singer gets me hot, but completely confused--for good reason...
CAUTION: SEXUAL SITUATIONS, GENDERBENDING
After the revolution, I rule. But I get out of touch. So I throw a party and invite me, myself and I...
Two embarrassing dreams the same night: I learn why I don't have cancer, and I can't buy giant panties...
CAUTION: STUPID
My relatives call me a blonde bimbo and won't give me my inheritance, so I take drastic steps...
CAUTION: MORAL HAIRSPLITTING
I was an elephant trainer longing to be a star--to win the girl on the flying trapeze. Who's probably straight...
CAUTION: FLIRTING LESBIANS, OR POSSIBLY ELEPHANTS, OR MAYBE LIBRARIANS
Psychodrama seemed like a way to meet cool people. But when I dreamed they were ice-skating rioters...
I live on Io. It's nicer than its photos. At least inside, where the oceans are--where I grow a second head...
I'm the first tuna to get a scholarship to Stanford. Naturally I sign up for a course in Inuit Meditation...
I'm so sick of irony I decide to get my sense of irony surgically removed and replace it with...
CAUTION: PLAYING WITH FIRE
On TV, the first Jungian anima to leave the unconscious is granting an interview. But the questions are...
How did my bondage dream turn into a slot-machine jackpot? And what kind of change is pouring out?...
CAUTION: (CON)SENSUAL BONDAGE
I'm slipping dimes into a boulder of jade: a vending machine that fills every order wrong. Why feed it? Well...
Why is Captain Janeway doing the tango with another woman, in a creek, wearing a mermaid tail?
The tale of a fawn named Fawn and her mom, a bank-robbing hippopotamus...
CAUTION: GLAMORIZES THIS ALARMING TREND
My shortcut in a marathon bogs down in a maze full of psychoanalysts! So I climb the walls and...
I win a free game of Kick the President. But what if everyone can see your kick-ass Prez but you?
CAUTION: THIS DREAM IS MONITORED BY THE SECRET SERVICE
I dream a Chinese fable: how the poet Li Po was abucted by the gods, till they face heavenly justice...
CAUTION: ABDUCTION, DRUNKS, EVIL PUN
My dad has a time machine, so he generously invites the King of Persia over. And offers him MY room...
I have to kiss a mess of cats. Fishy, but I'm not chicken. My real beef is with the humans watching...
R.D. Laing gives two examples of dream-spillage suggesting it's not passive but playful...
Deep in the caves, a Voice announces I've gone as far as the human mind can stand. But ahead, I see...
Lions trap me in an African cave with only coffee, paper and pens! Is this what it takes to get me to write?
One of my first recorded dreams--how I foolishly turned away from Lobster Love...
CAUTION: CHITINOUS SEX
The Dating Fairy, built on lonely evenings waiting for her to call me back--whoever "her" was that week...
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEXUAL THEMES
The Lord Chancelor can't sleep, and when at last he does, he drifts through nightmares full of baby lawyers and potted tradesmen sprouting fruit, and cutthroat corporate scheming. But that's Victorian dreaming!
Always ask permission to throw rocks at your date. No, not those big ones! Where's the nearest hospital?
CAUTION: SURREAL DATE ABUSE
My dentist (a Haitian Mafia leader) sends a message to my dad (also a Mafia don) by dental cruelty....
I'm a fight promoter whose biggest deal ever is maybe too big for me. How'd it become a four-way bout?
CAUTION: CRASS ACT
After finding marine geologists in my chocolate pudding, I'd rather be a Frenchman and insult my wife...
CAUTION: DECADENCE
An early piece about Matisse, and his models, and quilting, and disembodied heads...
An elegy to a great paper-cutter, and three (or was it four?) sado-humorists who still scare me a little...
A dream explaining why everyone with any moral vision gets filtered out of politics now...
At last, I get shown in the museum! Sort of. Homeless people sell my art from carts in the lobby. Stolen!...
I dreamed I was trapped in the maze of my pacifist vegetarian feminist anarchist eco-conscience...
My ex-wife breaks in, but acts like I'm the one who crawled back to her... and I don't HAVE an ex-wife!
CAUTION: ADULT THEMES. REALLY, REALLY STUPID ADULT THEMES.
Two friends send energy through me, transforming me. Now that my legs are detachable, I can sit comfortably on my eggs...
After a class in nonverbal communication, I meet Richard Nixon under embarrassing circumstances...
A vast galactic fleet hovers around Earth, demanding Rain. What? I fight one of the aliens... and find out.
CAUTION: ADOLESCENT HUMOR. IF THAT.
After seeing an Einstein biography I find myself in the bathrooms of Thought-Experiment High, and...
CAUTION: DARK SIDE OF AN ICON
The Goddess gave birth in my workplace. Her fever-dreams become real around us...
CAUTION: BIRTH SCENE, LIBRARIANS' ORGY
I'm trying to get a moontan when my mom appears. My astral body starts orbiting her like a moon. Uh-oh...
I show an Ohio friend the latest California sport. Of course we haven't worked out how to land just yet...
I pray for love and promptly meet Blue, whose mom treats her like a kid. We change that, but it's messy...
I'm peeking at Pike's Peak with Gregory Peck, as we seek my dream-journals in the Hawaiian jungles...
CAUTION: STUPID PSYCHIC PUNS
I love the Twins. They love intrigue. So when a hired crocodile sabotages our Egyptian treasure-hunt...
CAUTION: BAD GIRLS
Janet's obsessed with a creepy guy, until her friend Kay--a pixy--decides to knock some sense into her cunt...
CAUTION: LANGUAGE, EMBARRASSING SITUATION, NASTY LOVE SPELL
I'm pregnant with the Antichrist. This is going to ruin my vacation! Why do I think this is all about money?
A bunch of primitives try to trick their way into the Federation, slipping around the Prime Directive...
My sister's avoiding our nosy parents, but I sense they'll run into her soon. I just didn't know HOW soon...
Protestors occupy the Transamerica Pyramid and install a cow as CEO... a Cash Cow?
My friend Chris gets tied up at the office--that's his job, looking martyred! But when the boss is away...
CAUTION: NUDITY
My parents invite me to dinner, but my mom chases a rattlesnake up my leg. Then I wake to find two holes in my...
My girlfriend Raven dreams I keep poking her awake, while I dream that a different kind of raven gives me weird advice...
I'm an abused girl turning tricks to survive. But this is San Francisco: I join a prostitutes' co-op, and meet...
CAUTION: PROSTITUTES WITH SELF-RESPECT, OH NO!
I dream I’m telling a tall tale about a cat-funeral with hung-over mice pulling the hearse. But it all turns a bit too real...
A friend's tragic accident confines him to disco roller skates for life! Worse yet, he's in a Rocky Relationship...
CAUTION: "ROCKY HORROR" REFS, SEX
My mom and sister take me to see a bondage film. But the movie steals my pants! I should have known...
CAUTION: WORSE THAN PEEWEE HERMAN
In San Diego, I fly around disrupting the UFO games in the junkyard, till I reconnect with a centaur friend
A hard-hitting rap on Satan's dumbest disguise. Yet he's gotten away with it! The shocking truth...
CAUTION: LANGUAGE! SACRILEGE! MUCILAGE! (FOR THE BIG WHITE BEARD)
Aliens, hypnotherapy, dancing molars, riots, witches, flying pianos, lettuce... yet there is a point.
A sudden image of a woman whose other lips not only talked, they wouldn't shut up. Worse yet, they...
CAUTION: NUDITY
A fictional niece acting sexy in a shirt, plus... water balloons? I woke, and a friend told me HER dream...
CAUTION: DREAM INCEST, KIDS WITH GUNS, AND GENERAL WEIRDNESS
I’m the only one who can stop the plot to kill the Pope--but if he keeps shrinking like that, will it matter?
CAUTION: RECOVERING CATHOLIC
I'm a trade rep for Terra, on a new world. But an old rival, a rep from another world, arrives, and...
CAUTION: DRUGS
When I see two scary men on the trail, naturally, I swallow my skunk! I really don't recommend...
I'm at a physics conference. A new force has been discovered that may allow faster than light travel...
A man who wants to love and respect all life has unwanted kitchen guests: a wave of slugs...
My sexual orientation shifts arbitrarily, turned on one second, off the next. Who's at the controls?
CAUTION: SEXUAL CONFUSION
A demigoddess and a wizard meddle with humans. But do even THEY know what they're assembling?
I'm being hunted in Reincarnation Swamp, as I wonder if the glut of human bodies creates a soul shortage...
CAUTION: MYSTIC IDEAS
A dead fern in my backyard starts sending me messages in some strange language...
Our physics project is top secret, but a stranger strolls into a meeting and opens a can of green light...
I love Splinter, but her mom insists I got BOTH of them pregnant. Then I notice I'm pregnant too...
CAUTION: SEX, NAGGING
Lost in a dark maze of machine-shops, I follow Mr. Spock, who's drunk, and talks to tree-spirits...
CAUTION: ALCOHOL AS INSPIRATION?
I want to drink the elixir, but negative twenty spoons block me! Can I remove them? With warped teacup logic and reciprocals…
I'm in a department store trying on clothes when I notice there's a large zucchini growing from my crotch...
CAUTION: SQUASHY PENIS, ICKY RECIPE
My unconscious sabotages a lunch date with my friend Stephanie. The tricks get weirder, till...
I envy and resent a rich family's mansion so much I break in and sabotage their giant meat freezer...
CAUTION: HOSTILITY, ENVY, WASTE OF BAD FOOD
Nerds built the blues. Rick Moranis, famous blues-nerd, makes a groupie suck his ice cream cone...
CAUTION: MOCKS MUSIC, RACE, VANILLA ICE (CREAM)...
I hijack a Lacewing Chopper to install a new rubber-band engine, but the motor becomes a talkative penis, and...
CAUTION: ONE WEIRD WEENIE
I dreamed that I drew our dog and me mating, and then found the drawing on a gallery wall for all to see...
CAUTION: CARTOON BESTIALITY
An ancient pictograph inspires me to try a meditative technique: shrinking and letting myself be eaten...
CAUTION: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME
I'm Sybil Sue, a hard-boiled shapeshifting shamus, on the track of the most wanted bankrobbers in LA: the Bad Girls...
CAUTION: IN BETWEEN GUNSHOTS, THE BAD GIRLS SWEAR
My sister and I are playing cards in the air high over Lake Tahoe. Playing for the world. And she cheats...
Humor's one of the big emotions--laughter's as loud and uncontrollable as crying or orgasm...
I get speared by Irish warriors, slipped an LSD dose, chased by giant spiders, torpedoed--but hey, I'm not bored!
I dreamed a sphinx artist visited humanity and drew the crazy natives. I copied her sketchbook and notes...
CAUTION: NUDITY, PAGANISM, SLACKERISM, ACTUAL IDEAS
I'm at a Robert Bly camp for men only. But I'm no man--not even human--some faun or satyr-like species...
CAUTION: A TEMENOS IS A SACRED PHALLIC IMAGE
I dreamed I had to take a bewildering test on who is allowed in the military. I flunked. So will you...
CAUTION: MOCKS HOMOPHOBES
On the run I meet a lycan, a pirate, and a mermaid. She causes a flood, and something floats by I just have to grab...
CAUTION: IMPLIED SEX
I was barren. I asked Asklepios, God of Healing, to make me pregnant. Soon I was. And so I stayed--for 3 years, until...
I live in a beehive. We must mate with dogs. I'm assigned a bitch. But I'm allergic to gods! Oops, I mean...
CAUTION: SEXUAL THEME, DOGGESS WORSHIP
Golfing in the basement! But the ball lands in another world, where the water hazards are hazards...
I'm in Houston, gawking at giant starfishy towers looming through the smog. Their shapes are familiar...
Why's Mexico City built where it is? And why is corn called "ears"? It turns out these questions are linked...
A bouncy, lobe-by-lobe musical tour of your brain with Buddha as your tourguide...
The manhunt is on for Donald Trump, rich sociopath. But he too is pursuing something: happiness...
The All-American Family visits the fabulous Un-American Fantasy Store, where Mom is in for a shock...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY, LANGUAGE
My uncle is Jupiter. Not the god, the planet. All my relatives are planets. So am I. And I'm invaded...
Since when is a dream of a disastrous camping trip a medical diagnosis? It depends on your pun-tolerance...
In my nightmare, TV ads push new, supposedly eco-friendly uses for pigs, until this alarming ad...
Blondie Wiggle builds a Video Igloo. But I'm allergic--TV kills me! A BAD omen for our video project...
CAUTION: TV KILLS (BUT YOU KNEW THAT)
God's my boss, but like a bratty little brother, he's Not Speaking To Me. It's slowing down our office...
CAUTION: CHRISTIANS WON'T WANT TO KNOW
I'm a hardboiled detective wincing as I grill a meek little psychic (who might just be me) about embarrassing subjects like unicorns, and love...
CAUTION: A UNICORN WHO MAKES EVEN THE COPS BLUSH
I get so mad at a bunch of cops who harass gays, that I become the sea itself and chase them...
CAUTION: UNCHARITABLE REPRESENTATION OF OUR SAINTS IN BLUE
I'm an elephant working in a diner. In the bathroom, I inadvertently summon the Genie of the Urinal...
CAUTION: PISSED PACHYDERM
I'm at a family dinner. Killer Grampa, kid-hating Ma, larcenous Dad. Then a bum offers some advice...
Restrain yourself! Or you too may end up on a giraffe rollerskating down the freeway singing perverted popsongs...
A yuppie idealist discovers her boyfriend's a cheerful opportunist, and they disentangle their lives...
CAUTION: SEX IN REVERSE
It's true: after death, angels advise you where to go next. But what if you get an over-eager travel agent?