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Survivor's Curious

Dreamed 2010/7/7 by Wayan

I'm walking with a scarred, scary guy through a wooded valley: a park. He spots a ferris wheel through the trees, asks "Is a circus in town? Or is that part of the old playground you said you used to play in?" I think it's permanent, part of that playground.

He knows a guy once attacked me up ahead--one source of my fear of men. I went in the park bathroom and the guy--backed up by a gang--said "Who do think you are? We own this" and beat me up.

My friend got the scars on his face from the same thug.

Cross the playground. On the far side we climb a houselike structure. Crowds on stairs and ledges; some attractive women. But I'm still so tense. Partly flashbacks to that beating; partly that we're on the outer face of a steep structure with no rails and long drops. And I'm carrying three books, so one hand's not free. Rounding a corner, as I step over a 4-meter drop to a new terrace, my center of gravity's forced over the edge. Hurry across, clutching hard with my free hand.

I walk a high ledge while holding books. Dream sketch by Wayan.
Sit on the terrace with this scarred survivor. He asks about the books I carry. They embarrass me--one is a kids' book that wrestles with issues of giftedness--Diane Stanley's Allbright Academy, I think. Next is a fantasy/sf book exploring sex/dating in a furry world. Third is adult nonfiction, about investing I think. He's never had the time or opportunity to explore any of the three issues; his whole life's been about pure survival.

Still, he surprises me--doesn't condemn my non-primal interests. They're just new to him.

In fact... he's curious.

NOTES

Face of my Scarred Survivor. Dream sketch by Wayan.


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