THE DREAM

This type of dream is somewhat familiar to me. It is one in which I have an intuition that someone malevolent is outside my window and I am trying to wake up, but am paralyzed. Tonight it is so hard to get to be able to move.

Finally I do. I take a reverse-psychology approach and creepily tap on the window from the inside to freak out whoever is out there. Finally my ex-boyfriend from a few years ago appears. (I ended up getting a restraining order against him; despite the order, he left me a cryptic, somewhat threatening note on my car.) He tries to tell me "I've been feeling discarded," etc.

I tell him "You can call me if you feel this way, but if you ever come here again, things will be very bad for you."

When I wake up for real, that too is a struggle, and then I am surprised for a few moments that I was not awake already.

NOTES

Some things stand out about this dream...

1. My intuition is like this in waking life, not just dreams. Once, I sensed that I needed to look out the blinds on my front window, and a few seconds later a man appeared from beside my house. When he saw me peering out he turned and ran. I suspected that it could have been a friend of my ex, planting another note. Maybe not.
   • So this could just be me reliving that trauma. On the other hand...
   • It is not inconceivable that this ex still harbors a will to torment me and that he could actually have been outside my window.
2. Another point is that I have just gone through a very difficult break-up, and am feeling some of those same things myself, like being thrown away, etc.

EDITOR'S NOTE

I agree; this could be a warning dream of a real stalker outside your window, but given your recent break-up, it does seem likely the stalker is your own feeling you've been discarded. It wants to be let in and listened to. Maybe you have suppressed such feelings as unhealthy--but with your ex as a poster-child for just how unhealthy it can be, that's understandable.

If the stalker in your dream is your own misery, your response seems wise: "You can call me, but don't harass me" says to me that you're willing to acknowledge the pain but not wallow.

I feel for you. I'm recovering from a gut-wrenching breakup myself, and frankly I wish I were handling it as well as you are--I'm still just staggering around numb with shock.

I'd say "hang in there" but it's clear you are. You got out of your paralysis and dealt with it. Dealt fairly, too.

--Chris Wayan

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