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First Impressions

Dreamed 2004/5/20 by Wayan


My dreams keep saying "Express your feelings more, especially sex. Flirt! Only openness will heal your bleeding heart." So what do I do all day? Stay in and write!

But that evening I go out to see my friend Cameron Galloway's play The New District Manager. Cameron's a businesswoman so no-nonsense she has her vagina removed. Now she can climb the corporate ladder on equal footing with the guys!

But the vagina, tossed into the Bay, crawls out... and becomes a goofy performance artist! Cameron the comedian, basically. The vagina talks in her sleep, too--happy little murmurs, my favorite bit in the play. It's a wonderful parody of The Vagina Monologues--or is Gogol's The Nose?

It all ends unresolved--how do you heal that split? But her take on the dilemma is so funny!


In the San Francisco hills, I'm shown
a monster recently caught in Af-
rica. A wriggler five yards long:
half earthworm and half giraffe!

She lounges on a pillowed bed,
eyes like her mom, brown mild shy,
limber as her giant earthworm dad...
I stroke her velvet thigh.

Snuggling up she says "I don't know where
they dug me up, but a town was near.
I need to learn the name to return--
to burrow in the sweet veldt earth
             and nibble trees again!

Yet for now I am glad to view
this human world as long as it has you."
We stroll up Twin Peaks in low sun...
our winter shadows long.
             In her case, really long.

And in that golden light I realize
I love this monster by my side
Lonely years are ending now...
             if I'm brave enough--
             if I'm brave enough--
I turn to speak my wedding vow.

Sketch of a dream of an earthworm-giraffe girl sprawling on a bed.

"First Impressions" a dreamsong by Chris Wayan, 2013; (2.7 MB)
Won't play? Plain MP3


First Impressions was Jane Austen's early title for the book we now know as Pride and Prejudice. I fear I'm Mr. Darcy.


Cameron generally debuts her surreal comedies in San Francisco at the annual Fringe Festival (August) or at the Diva Fest (May). So if you happen to be in town...

LISTS AND LINKS: drama - Only in San Francisco - dream poems - playable dream songs - humor - monsters - worms - more giraffy love: Stiltdoe & Cenbuck, Giraffetaur Grove - animal people - sexy creatures - genital symbolism - romantic advice - a dream of My Bleeding Heart - sculpting with Cameron has a Ripple Effect - two Fringe-Festival-inspired dreams: the Key to our Inheritance, the New Dalai Lama - two Austen-inspired dreams: Surrender Darcy! and the next Dreamverse, Lemon People - The Dreamverse Project - the last Dreamverse also has an ambiguous rescue/theft in Africa: Ship of Jade. Full circle!

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