I work in a big dance club. Before the dance scene takes off later in the evening, we do nude cabaret--a mix of sex, dance, and comedy.

It's been a fun place to work, but soon it'll close its doors forever. It's the end of our world. Literally. The proprietor is God, and the club is this whole universe.

Long ago, God promised my workmate Dore, a waiter, that He'd give him a chance to perform someday, show his dancing and acting and voice. He never did. So now Dore gets up, tears his clothes off, and just takes the stage. What's God gonna do, fire him? Our friend Shell the waitress cheers him on. She plans to be next up. Same thing--God broke his promise to let her show her acting talent. She dances with Dore... then I leap onstage and she dances with me too. I'm excited, frustrated--I want her, I always have, and it's a bit late to show her now.

She's been hiding a different secret. She wants Dore.

And Dore? He's gay, and he never chased that special guy...

All right, God never promised we wouldn't be losers in love.

But he DID promise us each a chance to be a star. And he never came through, never made the time. We feel cheated. A few minutes grabbed in intermission is not what we were promised.

I wake horny, frustrated--and angry with God.

MORNING NOTES

Dore was a gay waiter/actor I knew from the first dance class I took in the City. Short for Theodore--"Beloved of God"? Ironic. Here, God cheats his beloved!

Sexual performance, artistic performance, musical performance--all promised, none forthcoming. Cheated by the management again--the ultimate school administrator. Is the dream saying I can't wait to be handed opportunity, I have to create it? What's the point if the world's ending? Or is that ANOTHER lie?

I do feel bitter. Beset by chronic illness, I've never had the health and strength needed to fulfill my own 'promise.' But I think the dream warns I'd better push--because we're on our own. Don't expect God to come through.

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