I go on a date who seems bored till she takes me to the Alertness Gym...
On a bar-bet, we seek God. We reach the Isles of the Blessed, but they're too complacent. We want the wild God, the real God, the Bad Taste God. Onward, pagan questers! Because we want to win our bet.
CAUTION: LAZY-ASS ANGELS
I meet a sex-kitten in the Underground Cartoonists' Bar, but her body language makes no sense to me...
CAUTION: UNDERAGE FLIRTATION... OR IS IT?
I don't know beans about right action, so the master chef of the Bean Bar, Kokoro, teaches me the stages of true mastery...
CAUTION: BEANS
A sexy pool-playing friend in a short skirt leans over an invisible, virtual-reality pooltable, but I'm blind to...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, TRULY CLUELESS GUY
The world's first all-bulemic band, Veronica and the Vomits, provokes a riot at our local punk club. So I go to Anorexic Bootcamp and join an army of models learning self-defense under fire, as calories and fat jokes whiz by...
CAUTION: SKINNY GIRLS WHO MAKE YOU WANT TO BARF--no wait, that's a bad idea!
A visit to the Conches, a strange race who are only people intermittently, seasonally...
One of Aline Kominsky's comix has her in a bar and a guy asks "Que pasa, muņeca?" and...
CAUTION: CONVERSATIONAL FETUSES
My house is a bar that never closes. You know what a gay bar is. Well, we're the opposite: a....
CAUTION: BAD VIBES
Some Christian oneirologists barge into the Haunted Firehouse. But I pose for nude unicorn photos, and...
CAUTION: DUMB CHRISTIANS, EXHIBITIONIST UNICORNS, ETC.
I'm a hobbit seeking Henry Fonda's haunted gold mine, who ends up in a showdown in a shaman's bar...
A prisoner's allowed to see his middle-class lover only in a seedy bar by the jail. But she likes the place...
CAUTION: THE JOYS OF SLUMMING
Why'd Julie write a singles ad with insane, sky-high demands, when she just wants a nice relaxed guy?
My parents' house is now a sex club. I walk in, and meet my soulmate! But in awkward circumstances...
CAUTION: SEX
It's the 1970s. What's a lion to do? Get fern-bar camouflage: a suit and an I'm-a-bohemian moustache...
From the punk clubs of Frisco to the Safeways of Si Valley to the vermilion sands of Mars, Silky the were-nightmare fights for the Misfits against every cliche in science fiction...
I keep feeling I'm a reincarnated rainforest creature just passing for human. When all I want is...
CAUTION: TOBACCO
Osento is a bath house that my friends all love. But women only. So I dream I change sex just to...
CAUTION: NUDITY, GRATUITOUS HAPPINESS
Love that hair, girl. A very seventies bar-monster...
I suspect the pinball champion of Jupiter is cheating. I try to scare her psychic confederate out of hiding...
Animal poets at an open mic. My turn! And I find... I'm one. A creature who's only just evolved speech...
Ours is a mixed-race family, and my sister takes after the horse side. No hands, but can she sing!...
I dreamed of speckled eggs, Caribbean drug traffickers and of almost drowning near a sinking boat...
I'm lost in a valley where unicorns love cyborgs but fear giant ants, who adore unicorns but hate cyborgs, who think ants are cute, but dread unicorns! And while the Three Tribes love and hate, cave-monsters sculpt them all. I set up peace talks between these four vertices of my tetrahedral soul, but what if I get what I want? Peace, love... transformation? What if those aren't cute and New Age?
CAUTION: SWEARING, DRUNK LIONS, CYBORG SURGERY, AND GOGGLE-BARFING