My friend Mike is in trouble. Seven years ago, the federal government was chasing a French guy they suspected of unpatriotic activities... like being French. They ordered Mike to turn him over, and threaten him with a felony if he doesn't! Mike did nothing, the guy left the country, it all blew over... he thought.

Now, Dubya's regime has resurrected that old felony charge and demands "Hand us the Frenchman!" Who's been gone seven years. Mike goes to a lot of bail bondsmen, looking for an alternative way to stay out of jail. The first few are no help, but a friend recommends a more creative group, and they come up with a legal loophole even the Attorney General's agents can't deny: if Mike gives the Feds the Frenchman's car, an old VW bus, he's off the hook! Better yet, the Feds have lost the records on his old car, so any old VW van will do.

So Mike grits his teeth and buys a VW clunker--treats it like a tax.

But Mike's bullying car-friend orders me to help him strip the bus of any useful parts, before turning it over. He installs cracked, junky car parts--just enough so the old beast can limp to the Federal Building.

I'm disgusted. All day, fetching and working for this jerk, exposing myself to allergens, in order to save a couple hundred bucks of old car parts that they'll still have to sell. It's not worth my time and trouble.

And yet I go along. Why?

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Mike: I went to Open Studio with him [artists open their studios all over town.] Found I preferred talking (and flirting) with artists to buying. But the artists were anxious to sell.
• Hand foreigner over: I just read Traitor's Sun by Marion Zimmer Bradley. Terrans order the natives on Darkover to turn over a diplomat--quite illegal, and just a pretext to invade the planet.
• Government: the hungry side of me? But hungry for power, status, money, or sex? More likely the latter two.
• Give them an old VW bus = surrender my old hippie values! Hippies must be non-competitive and unambitious you know. And poor--money's wicked. Hippies are allowed sex, just so no one ever gets hurt feelings (rare on THIS jealous planet!) So good riddance to the hippiebus.
• Strip the car: if I must make concessions to appease a hungry side of me, don't sweat the details. Waste of time.
• Junky car parts: cheap, mediocre art. Open Studio wasn't about art so much as small business, really.
• ACTION: Seek friends and lovers elsewhere--not Open Studio. Not worth the time--or chemical exposure!

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