I'm driving through the Santa Cruz Mountains--steep winding roads. My motor keeps stuttering, then dies in a pass. Push-start the car by rolling down the far side. Under less load, the motor stays on a full mile of downhill switchbacks, then dies again. I pull over. Inspect the car.

Find two fuel leaks. Firehazards! First, where the gas cap should be is a nozzle with a length of severed hose, torn off a gas station pump! It slows evaporative loss some, but still reeks of gas. I'm lucky it didn't end up a tubular torch.

And under the hood? I find a bad valve--a big bolt's missing, leaving a pinky-size round hole, leaking gas. Starves the engine so it stutters and gasps. I try to plug this hole with... a hot water knob? Screw it in. It seems to fit snugly--no leakage. Start the motor. It hums! It'll get me out of the hills, at least.

Why do I have the knob from a hot-water tap in my car? Well... I just think they're pretty, so I carry one around. Why, don't you?

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Stuttering motor, fire hazard: I've had recurring bouts of still-undiagnosed illness, with a lot of inflammation.
• Beauty for its own sake plugs fuel leak: doing art reduces inflammation and fatigue?
• Okay, but why use a hot water knob to mean this? Despite my dream-feelings, once awake I can't say I find hot water knobs especially beautiful--at least not enough to carry one around. Weird...

Turn on the TV. A documentary, The Africans, shows a family that's installed a hot water tap without having hot water. Social pretension? Decoration? Maybe a touch of each, but mostly something deeper. Aspiration, intention, an eye for the future.

So now... I'd read that knob in my dream as love of beauty, but also... an eye for the future. Whether goal-setting, or ESP. That's what'll fix my... drive.

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