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Dreamed 2007/7/10 by Wayan
NOTES NEXT MORNING
I'm due to see a dentist
in Santa Cruz at four;
I'm searching for his
office, door to door
when a black limo glides to halt.
The dental nurse steps out!
The dentist lurks in the back of the car,
a Haitian monstrous fat.
He croaks "get in" in an ugly way.
My gut says run, yet I obey.
A dental chair is bolted to that iron limo floor.
I pray these two are closet masochists.
The nurse straps me in, and ties my wrists.
Every hair stands up in horror.
He pierces my throat with a vegetable tie,
careful to miss my jugular vein,
threads the wire round my larynx,
and out my neck again.
I feel like a calf with a nose-ring
as maniacs hold the rope.
Obey, or never again will I sing:
he'll pull the garotte loop.
But would I mute? The flimsy tie-
wire might snap before ripping my
voicebox, but dare I risk a fight?
What with? I can only bite.
He mumbles "We won't maim or
cripple ya too bad,
but see, I gotta aim a
message to your dad."
He and my father are mafia leaders
jostling each other.
Just as my dad teaches readers,
dentistry's his cover.
All my relatives are crooks.
It's them my dentist's punishing,
for he assumes I'm in their biz.
He rips my fragile flesh with hooks,
but the dream is kind, fast-forwarding,
for pain is not its point. What is?
At five they dump me back on the street.
But I grab the dentist's throat and growl
"I broke with my dad, we never speak!
You sent no message, you fool!
But here's one for YOU: touch me again
and you're dead. I won't avoid wars
between my rotten family and yours!
I don't care if we all die, when
you drag me back in your hells.
I left your world; I'm staying out.
You criminals have rules. I don't!
Leave me out of your games... or else."
THE NEXT DAY
- Trapped, body violated, but defiant: last week I dreamed a cornered woman takes herself apart to escape!
- Santa Cruz = I'm going there to a party at my sister's
- 4 PM appointment = tomorrow I see a therapist (not dentist) at 3 PM (not 4).
- Black guy, crime families = two black kids burgled our neighbors. I saw and called the cops who caught them with items from other homes too--a lot. They were pros. At the pretrial hearing, the thieves' whole family showed up dressed like gangsta wannabes. They glared at me, not their screw-up sons. Family values? I've seen family values, and they weren't pretty. But then, as the dream points out, neither were my family's.
- Obese Haitian = I just read Women in the Material World; one chapter's on Haiti. People are destitute now. So an obese Haitian is corrupt almost by definition--must be feeding off others.
- Throat, voice = my voice went husky today. Felt like something stuck in my throat. Took it for allergies. Maybe not!
- Twist-tie = I threw one out while cooking in a hurry, felt a stab of eco-guilt. Must recycle every bit of paper and wire, even if that burns the omelet!
- Torture at 4 PM = I overworked on an art project, Abyssia, this afternoon
- My dad's a crook invading the fat man's turf = ??? My dad's been dead for years. Has some behavior I learned from him angered my inner... dentist? burglar? dictator?
- Not speaking to my dad or my whole family = well, my dad's dead, so it's true we don't talk too much. But I haven't broken with my family, though I do feel more distant these days. They're devious, but not crooks. The grotesque family of those burglars sure made an impression.
- ACTION =
- Slack off on art projects! Overdoing it.
- Stay out of Santa Cruz.
- Be alert today at 4 PM--you'll be biking home, possibly in heavy traffic!
- Uh... avoid Haitians? And Mafia dons, and dentists. And fat guys. They're baaaaaaad.
I did not get run over, or dentisted, or mafiad, or anything. I'm still puzzling over this dream. This dream that said it was a message. Only not to me--to my dad. Who's dead. And, while he lived, didn't believe in dreams.
ONE MONTH LATER
I've been trying therapy monthly--all I can afford. So I went today again, and talked over the Mafia Dentist dream. No conclusions, when the session ended at ten to four. So I got on my bike, and...
At four PM I was trapped by
the light at Gough and Fell,
when a middle-aged black guy
walked out of flashback hell!
Obese he was, as near-obscene
as Mafia Dentist in my dream:
crisp black slacks and dressy shoes,
under that wobbling belly-ooze.
I dared not ask if he worked on teeth--
leave the nightmare in its grave!
Lift Life's skirt to peer beneath?
I'm brave. But not that brave.
LISTS AND LINKS:
doctors & dentists -
pain in dreams -
family values -
crime and criminals -
threats and bullying -
dreams of my real dad -
dream humor -
shamanic dreams -
dream poems -
ESP in dreams -
predictive dreams -
a follow-up dream:
Blind Ancestors -
a second doctor-nightmare-poem:
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