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Maggots

Dreamed c.1973 by Ann, a psychology professor, as told to Ann Faraday

I had a wonderful dream that illustrates how dream power can appear to be coming with frightful imagery when actually she comes with beauty and friendliness. I had just spent a lovely weekend with the current man in my life and so I asked dream power what I felt about him in my heart--that is, what do I feel about my own judgment in a love relationship at this time in my life?

I dreamed I was vomiting large maggots and that my eye was being eaten by smaller maggots. My mother was standing by me during all of this, as I faced a mirror and vomited into the bathroom sink. My father was in a phone booth, wondering what on earth was wrong with me and phoning a doctor rather casually.
Well, the dream was terrifying, repulsive--but when I acted it out in a small group of friends and students, I soon learned that dreampower's imagery remained friendly. I talked to the large maggots first, and the dialogue went like this:
Ann: Who are you and what are you doing inside me?

Large maggots: We are father maggots--derived from all the hurt and anger you felt about your father's rejection of you. It's a year since you worked on your motorcycle dream and confronted your father in fantasy. You got a lot of us out of your system then--but there are still some of us left inside. We've been here from childhood, so it's not surprising that it takes time for us to go. We came in your dream last night because you need reassurance that you are indeed getting rid of us, and all this coughing over your father is causing us to be thrown out of your system.

The motorcycle dream... refers back to one of our dream groups Ann attended the previous year, in which she confronted her father in dialogue and came to understand something of his lifelong rejection of her.

As Ann says, many large maggots were vomited up at the time, but this latest dream came to tell her that the matter is not completely closed, that she has not totally released her father and forgiven him, that some hurt and anger still remain, but also that she is slowly getting rid of it.

Ann then talked to the small maggots:

Ann: Who are you and why are you eating my eye?

Small maggots: We are young maggots feeding on your "I." We are young because we haven't been around long, only as long as your divorce. We'll go away from your "I" eventually, but we came to tell you that there are still some of us around, and you need to remember this and not fall in love too quickly. If you get yourself into a close relationship with another man at this time, we and the big maggots inside could spoil it, so be patient.

Ann: But what can I do to get rid of you? I don't like you eating my "I."

Small maggots: Oh, just keep doing what you are doing, sleeping with this current man, who is very good for you, but don't start thinking marriage yet. Just be natural and spontaneous about the whole thing and let it flow--this is healing to the "I."

Ann: But how can my "I" heal if you're feeding on it?

Small maggots: Oh, come on, Ann. You're not as weak as all that. Your "I" is as strong as a horse. It can contain us for a little while. Don't try and get rid of us by spraying or injections--that will only poison the system more. Just let it be for a while--your psyche is large enough to see this mourning period to its end. It will terminate in its own good time in its own natural way, and we'll be able to fly away on our own. Let it be--for the moment anyway.

The message to Ann was clear. The childhood hurt was a deep inner wound which, at age thirty, is still festering, despite some very constructive dreamwork. The hurt over the divorce, on the other hand, is only two years old and has less seriously attacked the "I," the ego, or outer self-image. But even this needs time to heal. The dream warns Ann not to rush into another marriage just in order to save her self-image and prove that she is not a failure, but to take things easy and let the hurt clear up in its own good time.

Ann concluded her description of the dream and its dialogue by commenting "Dear dream power, thou art so careful and loving and protective of me."

SOURCE: The Dream Game, Ann Faraday, Harper & Row, 1976 ed.; pp 253-5. Passage untitled; 'Maggots' added to aid searches.



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