Healing from Abuse and Trauma
Abused people often play with the fire that burned them--in their dreams and in their lives. That's not necesssarily self-destructive, though it may look like it to others. Just re-enact it safely, and don't lose your self-respect. If you relive it enough you'll get a sense of control, put it past you, and stop. The challenge is to come through this phase alive, uninfected, and unaddicted. Only possible if you don't write yourself off as ruined and give up trying to protect yourself--and that's hard in America at least, where a Puritan tradition tends to write off every prostitute, drug user, crazy beggar, criminal, child molester, batterer, politician and telemarketer as hopelessly damned. But you're not--unless you give up!
I believe acting out the dramas of abuse in your dreams is just as effective as acting them out on the street, in bars, in bad marriages... and a lot safer! This is a reason to welcome shameful, even degrading dreams! Stand up for yourself in such dreams as if they're real, and be glad you're merely miserable.
Because you're working things through. It's the numb people who are stuck.
RELATED TOPICS: more general health advice in dreams - parenting and neglect - orphans and runaways - outcasts and pariahs in general - racism, sexism, and homophobia - bullying and intimidation - incest - underage sex and pedophilia - general sexual exploitation - drugs - addiction and twelve-step programs - therapy - dreamwork - belonging - See also the full INDEX OF SUBJECTS.
What this site is - Add your dreams! - How to read blurbs - Ratings - Copyright - Downloading - The World Dream Bank has 2300 dreams plus 1000 more pages on dreamwork, shamanism, surrealism, fantasy, worldbuilding, creativity and genius. Site © Chris Wayan 2001-2013.
|ABJECT OBJECT: by Wayan; 1992, a nondream digital picture-prose-poem
It's OK to be a sex object as long as you're also a subject. What's no fun is being an abject...
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEXUAL THEMES
|THE ABUSE PANELISTS: by Wayan; 1997/2/6, nondream journalism
A whole convention of adults abused as kids shows me how hard it is to hide the damage...
CAUTION: ABUSE ISSUES
|ADRIAN TRIED: by Wayan, 1991/3/12, an embarrassing dream.
Adrian and Jennifer and Michelle try very very hard to get my attention, but I'm a bit oblivious...
CAUTION: SEXUAL STUPIDITY
|ALERTNESS GYM: by Wayan; 1994/4/19, a strange dream date.
I go on a date who seems bored till she takes me to the Alertness Gym...
|ALONE IN THE DARK IN THE WILD: by Wayan; 1980/7/24, a vision-quest nightmare.
A nightmare of a killer who I let torment me because it's better than being alone...
|ALPINE GUINEA PIG & SEXLESS CHILD, or, I'M EITHER A GREAT MOM OR A TERRIBLE MOM: by "Veronica Franco"; 2006/8/19, a dream of penned creatures and those who love them.
Alpine deer-hamsters, pigs, birds, children, even fundamentalists' daughters grow up and want to fly free...
|THE ANT REPRESENTATIVE: by Wayan; 1996/3/18, a romantic dream of bugs.
I fall in love with a diplomat from a hive mind. Am I luring her into dangerous individuality?
|ARCHANGEL: by Wayan; 1997/10/19, a dream-farce--or is it?
Sure I've been through hell, but how the hell did that get me elected archangel? And why's my butt itch?
CAUTION: ITCHY BUTT
|THE ARMY ORGY: by Charles Scoy; late Sept. 2008, a recurrent nightmare that changed
Another Army nightmare suddenly switched gears! My enemy kissed me, and we started doing every kind of sex...
CAUTION: GAYS IN THE ARMY? DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL!
|AVOID THE MATRIARCH: by Wayan; 2010/7/8; a dream of, well, avoidance
I love a girl in a big Singapore clan whose matriarch hates me. But the omens say a confrontation will be disastrous...
|BATTERED, WITH SYRUP: by Wayan; 1998/11/6 & 11/21, two healing dreams.
I'm a battered girl who sings in a mall. The Mall Dictator (of all people) helps me start to heal, and learn to fly...
CAUTION: BATTERING AND ITS CONSEQUENT DAMAGE
|IN THE BIG BURN: by Wayan; 1997/7/22, a postnuclear dream.
I love a girl who wants to settle in a radioactive jungle, a scar from an ancient war. Stay or go?
|A BIKE ODYSSEY: by Wayan; 1994/7/24, a day trip echoed in a dream.
By day, I bike across San Francisco; by night, I'm an abused English heiress with a dangerous artifact...
CAUTION: MOLESTATION BY DISSOLUTE COUNT
|BILL: by Anonymous #32; c. 1950, a predictive warning dream
My mother begged me to stay in. I went out with Bill--who raped me. Later she reluctantly told me what she'd dreamed...
CAUTION: DATE RAPE
|BLEEDING HEART, the SELF-HEALING CORPSE, and IN THE FUTURE DESERT: by Wayan; 2002/5/29 - 2004/7, a diagnostic, predictive dream-series; Bleeding Heart as comix
A tree-girl moves to Hollywood to make film deals, but jealousy stabs her...
CAUTION: BLOODY ASSAULT, GAY DRYADS, MUTANT NUDITY
|BLIND ANCESTORS: by Wayan; 2007/8/6, a nightmare poem about all of us
While we’re off at work, blind Ancestors come smash our homes--and we all take zombie vandal relatives for granted...
|BURN: by Sierra Loucks; 1990?, a five-year-old's nightmare
I was at the beach with my friends. It was fun. But gradually they were laughing at me, not with me. Then they picked up burning sticks...
|THE CAMBODIAN GIRL: by Wayan; 125K, 1996/4/2 dream illustrated by sculpture, 2000.
VERY mixed media--the boat is warped wood. And the story is warped more...
CAUTION: SEXUALLY SUGGESTIVE AND QUITE EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT
|CATCH-UP: by Wayan; 2001/3/14, a dream on maturation
Revelations about my mom put my shyness in a new light. That night I dream twin sisters suddenly zoom through puberty in hours...
CAUTION: VERY SUDDEN BREASTS
|CHANGE THE CORE PROGRAM: by Wayan; 1995/6/28, a dream of sudden progress.
I meet a tragic heroine--great heart, rotten luck. But I open her magic sword and find a bad chip...
|CHINA BEACH: by Wayan; 1992. Digital poster of a waking life-shift..
That moment when you tire of your old trauma and suddenly turn to the sun. Or fun.
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEXUAL THEMES
|THE CHINESE PROFESSOR'S WIFE: by Wayan; 1997/2/4, a dream on abuse.
My neighbor thinks I'm sleeping with his wife, who he abuses. Only I think she may be me...
CAUTION: IMPLIED BATTERING
|CHUNKS, or, BABEZILLA!: by Wayan; two dreams 1990/10/4 and 1991/9/4 told as digital comics.
I meet a giant psychic baby feared by 12-step people. So I go to the beach and find I'm a shark-bit girl who can have her missing chunks sewn back in--if I still have room for them...
|CLIMB FROM THE PIT: by Wayan, 1996/11/9, a dream parable.
I'm in the Mideast. No wonder it's a war zone--it's a vast pit BUILT for war! But a spiral stair leads slowly out, to...
|COLOSTRUM FIRST!: by Lily and Wayan; 1998/2/27; a shared dream
A dream of exhibitionist girls playing with breast milk turns out not to be symbolic, but psychic...
|COLD-SHOWER CONSCIOUS: by Wayan; 1996/5/25, a dream dissecting a fear.
Sexy frustrating dreamlets with a message, not about my unconscious, but about my CONSCIOUS...
CAUTION: SEX TALK
|CURSING ISABELLA: by Wayan; 1992/8/19, a thoughtful dream of sorcery.
How I cursed Isabella the sofa sorceress, cursed her with a blueberry. And why that stinks...
CAUTION: UNDER THE MAGIC, IDEAS
|D, D, D: by Wayan; 1988/2/1, trance-poem during automatic writing (done to rewire my brain)
I always wrote some letters strangely--my 'd' was nearly illegible. So I set out to retrain my deep motor skills...
|DATIN' DEMON: by Mark Varitz and Wayan; 1989/12/3; Mark's dream triggers one by Wayan.
I meet my personal demon, and discover it has a personal demon: me! Am I worse than my Shadow?
CAUTION: CRUDE LANGUAGE
|DATE GHOST: by Wayan; dreamed 1985? (exact date uncertain); acrylic.
I tried to date a nice young butterfly but was stopped by a monster who was... my own wings?
CAUTION: UNDERAGE BUG
|DEER SORCERESS: by Wayan; 1981/5/18, a dream on the virtues of chaos.
A witch-girl turned to a deer flees hell-hounds who just CAN'T get organized...
|DID YOU THINK IT WOULD BE EASY?: by Wayan; 1995/1/15, a dream of slow liberation.
Our Appalachian town revolts against fundamentalists, but brainwashing takes time to undo...
CAUTION: SEX AND INJUSTICE
|DRAGON BANNERS: by Wayan; 1987/3/19, a dream on the value of inner emptiness.
A dragon's daughter seeking her inheritance defies a sneaky dragon-realtor out to own the world...
|A DREAMKU PRIMER: by Roswila; 2007; how-to guide to dream haiku
Distilling a dream to one key image can clarify it. But don't be ruled totally by traditional haiku form...
|DREAMKU, JUNE 2006: by Roswila; various dates up to June 2006; thirty dream-haiku
Daily dream-poems in haiku style, nonstop for a month. A flood of animals, revenant ghosts, sex changes...
|DRIVER'S TEST: by Wayan; 1984/1/8, an illustrated Kafkan dreamtale.
It's not easy to get a California driver's license, ever since the Dept. of Motor Vehicles went Jungian...
|EAT MORE FIBER: by Wayan, 1996/8/8, a nutritious little dream.
Concerned about my health, I up my fiber intake. But not from the usual sources, though...
CAUTION: BAD DIETARY ROLE MODEL
|EIGHT ELFLOCKS: by Wayan; 2007/8/11, an absurd psychic sex dream.
First I learn strange sex positions from an abused elf and have calligraphic orgasms, then I, uh, turn on my stereo...
CAUTION: SEX, ESP, ANORGASMIA, PAST LIVES, ABUSE ISSUES
|EMBER IN THE BRAIN: by Wayan; 1983/3/31, a dreamtale on anger.
I'm the Incredible Hulk, forced to do emergency brain surgery. And the patient's burning from within...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE AND UNLICENSED MEDICINE
|THE ENTANGLED MAN; 2012/5/5 by Wayan; a singular dream
On our expedition to the black hole, one researcher gets quantum-entangled with the singularity! He could become anything...
|THE ENTWINED CHILD AND MADAM PURR-SAY: by PurplePurplePurple; 2013/7/5, two mirroring poem-dreams the same night
I dream my autistic son, miraculously high-functioning, recites a math-poem to a crowd...
Then I become cartoon cat Madam Purr-Say and chant my own defiant poem at the dream gods...
CAUTION: FIRST POEM AUTISTIC, SECOND PISSY
|EXPLORATION OF TAROT IMAGES IN A DREAM: by Roswila, 1998; an analytical numerate dream
Tarot cards fuse and meanings layer, to warn me I've similarly (con)fused real and trance-induced memories during therapy...
CAUTION: ABUSE ISSUES
|FALSE ALARM: by Wayan; 1996/5/23, a nightmare I lived as a kid.
In school, I'm seen as a freak--lied to, set up for little pranks. Not just by my classmates--my teachers...
|A FAMILY ALBUM: by Wayan; 1981/3/9, folio of nightmarish dysfunctional family.
A series of family shadows, as I saw them then. These scenes are NOT literal, do I make myself clear? But these tensions were real...
CAUTION: GRIM! SEXUAL VIOLENCE, INCEST, MUTILATION
|FAMILY STORE: by Mark Ian Barasch's father, c. 2000; a subtly psychic dream healing a family
I dream my son the writer's living above our old family store, the one that failed in the Depression...
|FATHER CARES: by Roswila, 2007/9/7?; a dream haiku
A watershed dream for me, since my relationship with my father was, shall I say, conflicted...
CAUTION: ABUSE ISSUES
|FATHER LOOMS: by Wayan; 1983/?, a nonliteral diagnostic nightmare.
I was a 30ish woman discovering that my chronic pelvic inflammation was from childhood molestation...
CAUTION: MOLESTATION IN DREAM-PAST
|FISHERGIRLS: by Wayan; 2.6M, 42 illus.; 1996/7/15; a sexy dream epic.
I had a spectacular dream one night, that lasted many days in dream-time--a true other life. It wasn't Earth, and we weren't human.
I was a teenage lemur, sailing with two friends into unknown waters--a rite of passage. I woke on deck deep in the night, my friends curled around me, and realized I didn't WANT to pass the test, be declared a grown woman, marry and have pups. I loved my girl friends. In a world lacking the very word, I was groping toward queerdom. Sailing into unknown waters! "Here be dragons," the old maps say. And they were right...
If 2600K is too big to load, try it in parts: 1: HOME, 650K, 2: VOYAGE, 1200K, 3: BACK 750K.
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEX, QUEER TEEN ANGST, ANTI-FUNDAMENTALISM
|FISHERGIRL IN WATERCOLOR; OVAL: by Wayan; 1996, watercolor of a 1996/7/15 dream scene.
A watercolor portrait of Leaf and me on our boat in the lost city, from the dream FISHERGIRL...
CAUTION: TRIBAL NUDITY
|THE FLASHBACK: by Wayan; 1985/11/28, a dark dream-farce.
I'm a monster working in a shopping mall in Stockton, California, when I smell smoke...
CAUTION: FILM NOIR SEX
|FLEEING KAMPUCHEA: by Laura Lawrence; early 1990s?; recurring nightmares to heal a future patient
My Cambodian village was burned, my family murdered. At 12, I was the oldest survivor; I led a band of kids toward the border...
|FREDDY KRUGER'S POLITICS: by Wayan; 1992/8/20, a dream of... ambition?.
Freddy has plans for me and Telly Savalas's daughter... but what can he lure us with? What do we want?
|FUTURIANS: by Wayan; 1997/11/11, a dream on innocence.
A time-loop introduces me to a future self full of innocent enthusiasm. Maddening!
|GALLEY SLAVE: by Wayan; 2008/11/27, a subtly punning career-advice dream; Dreamverse #47
Shipwrecked and claimed as salvage on Crete, Ed the writer became a dishwashing slave! In contrast, Marie the musician...
|GEEK SHORTAGE: by Wayan; 135K, 1990-95. Digital panorama on body image--literally.
A narrative mural on the sexiness of dancers, as I became one--at the moment I lost my old geeky self...
|GHOSTS PUSH TOWARD THE SUICIDE DOOR: by Wayan, 1997/8/7, a nightmare that wants a break.
I live in a haunted house where ghosts push you to suicide. But they're as tired of it as I am...
|FROM GLIDING TO FLIGHT: by Wayan; 1993/11/15, a gradualistic dream.
Hypnotherapy is hopeless with these blind architects flopping all over the cafe, but my flying has improved...
|GOAT DARE: by Wayan; 1984/8/22, a sex nightmare.
A girl and I climb a half-built tower to get some privacy. What can we do before my nosy parents find us?
CAUTION: SEX, HUMILIATION, FAMILY VALUES
|GO-GO GANG: by Wayan; 2013/8/26, a dream warning that abuse casts a long shadow.
The Go-Go Gang, fashionistas, sing "This town is OUR town" and kick a girl who wore their colors--giving me flashbacks to the kids who broke MY ribs...
|GOLD EATER: by Wayan; 560K, 9-page comic of a 1993/1/15 dream.
I'm an orphan shapeshifter enslaved by a gold-eating monster. But I meet a cat-girl with a hammer...
CAUTION: BAD FOSTER-DAD; CAPITALIST MONSTER; VIOLENCE TO INNOCENT VENDING MACHINES
|GREENBIRD SAVIOR: by Wayan; 1983/6/2, a divine comedy.
Time-travel the Navaho way! But our bread-pipe gets hijacked, so we call the Bird. Who shows up, all right...
CAUTION: NON-STANDARD SAVIOR, EVIL DREAM PUNS
|GUARD ON THE BEACH: by Wayan; 1980/9/17, a dream of moral suasion
Very nearly a nightmare, till the guard on the beach relented in the face of people power...
|GUIDE IN THE RUINS: by Wayan; 1996/11/20, a hopeful dream of ruin.
Through vast Soviet ruins to the modest rooms where the new Russia lives. As I fall in love with my guide...
|HALF-HEARTED GHOST: by Wayan; 1994/9/28, a dream on the cruelty of shyness.
I go invisible in my dance class and hear what the girls I like have to say about me. Uh-oh...
CAUTION: PAINFUL RELATIONSHIP TRUTHS
|HAWK ANGEL: by Wayan; 1982/12/28; a dream on rejecting hearsay.
I dreamed I met a sort of hawk angel, but there was this preachy guy between us...
|HEAL THE WORLD!: by Wayan; 2011/8/17, a messianic-inadequacy dream (now there's a new type!)
I can heal people with a touch. But they don't want to be merely restored, but resculpted...
CAUTION: TRANNIES AND FURRIES LEAVE THE CLOSET
|HEALING THE RING: by Wayan; 1984/8/22, a nightmare on... anger?
I bear a Ring of Power meant to corrupt me. I cleansed it, at a cost, but can't wield it till I've read its spell...
|THE HEDGE KING: by Wayan, 1992/6/14, a gender-bent dream epic.
I change sex to infiltrate a sinister castle, unaware its Lord can spot a shapeshifter--being one himself...
CAUTION: A DISTURBING BEDSIDE MANOR. I MEAN, MANNER.
|THE HEDGEHOG DISPENSARY: by Wayan; 440K, 27 watercolors, 2004/10/2, a dream of a furry ambitopia.
A rabbit shaman orders his apprentice to drape dead hedgehogs round her neck til she bleeds. Ow! What’s his problem? Well...
CAUTION: FURRY NUDITY, ABUSIVE MENTOR
|HER ONLY FRIEND: by Wayan; 1996/7/1, a dream of worms turning.
A sorceress trains a kid as a prostitute who'll spy on her powerful clients. But her training has side effects...
CAUTION: EXPLOITED KIDS
|HER OWN WEAPON: by Wayan; 1983/8/31, a poltergeist-therapy dream.
A woman says she's being stalked, but it's her own poltergeist! Her therapist makes her reach for it...
|HIS DEER WIFE: by Wayan; 1995/7/9, a dream of love in a parallel world.
I'm a slave, a scribe in the house of a Captain of the New Aztec Empire, when he brings home a wife...
CAUTION: SLAVE SOCIETY, SEX, SPOUSAL ABUSE/NEGLECT
|HITLER'S ROOST: by Wayan; 1983/2/14, a grim dream-poem, probably about a serial molester
I built a Bavarian treehouse with a great view, hoping Hitler will steal it. Yes! Now he's exposed to Allied spy planes--and assassination...
CAUTION: CHILD-MOLESTING THERAPIST
|HOT TO TROT, or, BRAIN TRAUMA, or, HUMPIN' THE HOG, or, SAD-EYED SWAN OF LOVE: by Wayan; 120K, 1993/8/4, a wild dreamtale.
I'm a mare, hot to trot in the Big City (and get laid), but my gay Star Trek friend's brain trauma has made her a clueless alien with a bo(a)ring sexlife--until a certain swan enfolds her in love...
CAUTION: ALIEN POSSESSION, CARTOON PIG SEX, SMOKING SWANS
|HOUSE OF BLUE LIGHT: by Wayan; 1994/4/3, a dark dream.
As my grandmother is dying, I have a dream about what really went on in her house...
CAUTION: CHILD SLAVERY
|HUNG BY ELDER: by Wayan; 1997/7/30, a nightmare.
A disowned heiress and I sneak onto the family estate, but they'll go pretty far to hide their skeletons...
|I CAN'T JOIN THE TRIBE: by Wayan; 1997/8/12, a nightmare on madness.
After the eco-crash, I try to join a tribe in the jungle that was Oakland. But they reject me, for good reason...
|I DREAM OF DERIVERRANS: by Wayan; 1982/11/16, a Joycean dream of surrender.
I must rescue Ann Soforth from righteous rapists, then Paul McCartney from a musical curse...
CAUTION: ABUSED CHILD, JOYCEAN LANGUAGE
|I LOST 400 POUNDS!: by Wayan; 1993/6/24, a motivational dream.
A gorgeous healer bursts through the wall to tell me "I used to weigh 500 pounds. It kept sex away! But..."
|I WAS A SEX SLAVE: by Wayan; 1994/11/20, a dream on isolation
I'm a slave dancer. I run for it, and make it over the border. But my owner comes looking for me...
CAUTION: NUDITY, SLAVE SOCIETY
|IF YOUR HEART IS BEAT: by Wayan; 1989. Nondream, digital graffiti-poem-poster.
When your brain-cops are edgy, you're getting warm!
|ILLUSIONISTS DON'T RULE: by Wayan; 1996/8/26, a dream on the strength of logic.
I read 'The Closing of the American Mind," and dream I'm a pilot who suspects an illusionist in my plane...
|I'M NOT BAD FOR A ROBOT MOM: by Wayan; 1993/11/12, an evaluatory dream.
I'm an android struggling to raise a boy genius. But even human moms of prodigies share my problems!
|INVISIBLE KYOKO: by Wayan; 1995/1/16, a dream on bold and shy.
I'm at a party in an air-lake. We fish for a girl who's gone invisible. But... what if we catch her?
|THE INVISIBLE SULKY: by Wayan; 1995/9/20, a dream on resistance.
I feel a drag, and take off my safety belt. I find I've been towing an invisible buggy with two men in it...
|JANE IN VAIN: by Wayan; 1997/3/6, a dream that's not about class.
A prisoner's allowed to see his middle-class lover only in a seedy bar by the jail. But she likes the place...
CAUTION: THE JOYS OF SLUMMING
|JENNIFER MONTGOMERY: by Wayan; 1995/4/24, a journal extract
Her film about her teenage affair with a pedophile is troubling enough before the FBI steps in to blackmail her...
CAUTION: MOLESTATION/ABUSE ISSUES
|KOKO'S LOSSES: by Wayan; 1999/10/9, an elliptically predictive dream.
Koko the gorilla has had some terrible setbacks lately... the double amputation, especially...
|THE LEAD HAZARD OF WITCHES: by Wayan; 2008/11/21; an alternate-world dream
I was in an America where witches are burned and used as landfill, and abused women grow on trees. Yet three of us heal...
CAUTION: CREEPY PARALLEL WORLD
|THE LEOPARD'S CLUE: by Wayan; 2012/3/17, an incubated advisory dream.|
My boyfriend, a leopard, sniffs out a clue to an old murder involving me in a past life. But did I witness, die, or kill?
|LOON LADDER: by Wayan; 1993/5/13. A dream of rising above.
I had this near-nightmare about climbing a DNA stair up to the sky, and stepping off...
CAUTION: NUDITY, INCEST ISSUES
|LYNN HALL'S "FLYAWAY": by Wayan; 1997/7/6, a journal extract on religious abuse
A book that kept me up late. Ariel and Robin get abused as subtly, as deniably as me and my sisters...
CAUTION: RELIGIOUS/PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE
|THE MAN WHO MISTOOK...: by Wayan; 1995/9/19, an insane dream.
I'm just an ordinary guy, who beats his son so he'll grow faster, and sees tits on drinking fountains...
|MARTHA'S FALL: by Barbara, Martha, and Wayan; 1977/5/18. Three linked warning, sex, and flying dreams
Wayan makes love to Martha's double, then sees her soul watching from the shadows...
Barbara can't reach Wayan to say farewell...
Martha falls off a mountain and decides to let herself die, just to see what happens...
CAUTION: SEX, ABUSE ISSUES
|MENOLLY: Love Song to a Dragonsinger: by Wayan; 1977, a dreamish poem on giftedness and abuse.
As a kid I was haunted by the parallels between Menolly of Pern and me...
|MERCURY: by Wayan; 1982/3/7, dream-poem of a lost future.
Mercury didn't spin! One side fire, one side ice. We farmed in domes, between--until the sun brightened...
CAUTION: BAD SCIENCE
|MICMAC TOWERS: by Wayan; 2011/6/12, a quietly predictive surreal dream
I dream squatters build surreal towers in a city of junk. I wake, go to a movie, and see...
|THE MIRANDA OATH: by Wayan; 1998/2/24, a political dream-fable.
Strange oaths are proposed for the first geological expedition to the moon Miranda...
|THE MOUNTAIN, THE MAGPIE AND THE ROAD: dreamed 2013/3/26 by Rustling Leaves; an issue-baring nightmare
I visit a beautiful artificial mountain with loved ones--but my demons overwhelm me one by one.
CAUTION: SUICIDAL FEELINGS, BODY HATE/FATPHOBIA, IMPLIED RAPE
|MY GATE: by Wayan; 1996/5/29; a bizarre, joyful dream; 4-page comic (or ill. text version)
The full moon rises: I become Weregirl, do the Moondance, and gnaw open the lock on my heart...
|MY PAST CHANGES SO: by Wayan; 1985, a poem on healing-stages.
It takes time to build yourself out of found objects and trash...
|MY PRIZE: by Wayan; 1997/8/15, a short psychic dream on inner critics.
A teen awards me prizes for art and writing. I wake to see her on TV--a gymnast after a prize herself...
|MY WILDCAT WOUND: by Wayan; 1994/7/8, a dream on gender trauma.
I'm a wildcat in a cat/fox team led by a woman who wants us to merge with a man/wolf team...
|NANCY AND KIT: by Wayan; 1994/1/3, a dream about mislabeling.
In a psychodrama scene, I try to stop a furious guy from hitting an exhibitionist girl. But I'm bleeding...
|A NIGHT ON MOUNT DIABLO: by Wayan, 1984/6/8, an allegorical four-phase dream.
I'm attacked by a narcissist firebird, a rabid rattler-manticore, a masochist bear, and a sexless succubus...
CAUTION: INEPT DEMONS
|NOT A THING: by Wayan; 1981/3/1, a shocking dream.
What if your mind doesn't think it's yours? What if it's not so sure you're even a person?
|NOT LOVE, BUT NOT ABUSE: by Wayan; 1996/6/6, a dream on gradualism.
I dream I don't love my girlfriend, I just confuse non-abusive treatment with love....
|ON DRAGONS: by Roswila; July 1986, three poems of dragon dreams
The first two dragons numb my pain. I demand it back, and soon regret my haste. But the third dragon I seduce, for I'm a dragon now...
|ONCE A HERO: by Wayan; 185K total, 9 images, 1998/10/22, a raw dream-series.
Sexy dreams of Chinese archeology, authorized by the fairies, make me face that my family abused me...
|PHARAOH HOOKS: by Wayan; 1989/7/31, a deadpan joke of a dream.
My sister and her friend the snake-woman tell me the facts of life: the golden hooks, the piglets...
CAUTION: UNRELIABLE GYNECOLOGY
|PISSING MEMORIES: by Wayan; 1999/5/20, a dreamtale on non-sabotage.
I desperately need to pee, but my bladder's full of two kinds of emotional trauma, and each blocks the other!
CAUTION: BATHROOM PSYCHOLOGY
|POKEY?: by Wayan; 1993/4/15, a dreamtale on my soul.
My lover's turned into a tiny living pull-toy, trapped ankle-deep in a wheeled platform. Can I free her?
|PRAISE THE DANCING GOONS: by Wayan; 2008/10/16, a dream-poem: Dreamverse 34
Three big tap-dancing kidnappers is too many to fight. So I try admiring their kidnapping technique...
|PRECAMBRIAN SLEUTH, or, MURDER BY ATMOSPHERE: by Wayan; 2013/6/2, a shamanic warning dream.
I'm a detective in a research station two billion years ago. No one warns me the ancient atmosphere isn't just anoxic, but deadly...
|THE PROWLER: by Wayan; 1997/2/4, an illustrated dreamtale.
My sister hears a prowler. I go out blind in the dark, and learn she's right. But what a strange intruder!
|QUADRUPLE WEDDING: by Wayan; 1995/5/15, a unifying dream.
Why'd I get sick from figure-sketching? Dream I'm at a mass wedding; do I marry a dwarf, a feral boy or a horse?
|HIS RACIST SON: by Wayan; 1994/1/8, an incubated dream offering two diagnoses
Suddenly I hate and fear black kids in school! The counselor says I'm clinically paranoid: I need drugs! My dad says "How strange, how sad." And goes home to light a candle at his shrine to the Confederacy...
CAUTION: INDUCED RACISM
|MY RAPPEL-MAD SISTER: by Wayan; 1984/7/14-15, a dreamtale on being halfway.
My sister hoists us up to the Goddess's country too early, or too late: the ice is thawing, treacherous...
|THE REAL MAO: by Wayan; 2006/7/9 and 7/11: two dreams (one possibly psychic) about an appalling book
Jung Chang’s exposé of Mao's brutal deeds and legacy provoke dreams I demand that leaders listen...
|(IN THE) REHEARSAL ROOM: by Wayan; 360 x 600, 1982. A dream on shyness.
I dreamed my fears faded like ghosts, as we made love in the rehearsal room. But invisible is not gone...
|RECONCILIATION: by Martha Sherwood; 2003/6/19, a dream-parable
Even after the Resurrection, a mother and daughter still have issues to clean up...
|REGEANA’S DRAGON: by Regeana; 1996/3/9, a dream of generosity
The jewels in the hoard had strange powers, but the advice of the dragon guarding them was even stranger...
|A RENAISSANCE WOMAN: by Wayan; 1997/7/3, a dreamtale.
I'm an abused girl turning tricks to survive. But this is San Francisco: I join a prostitutes' co-op, and meet...
CAUTION: PROSTITUTES WITH SELF-RESPECT, OH NO!
|RESCUE FEVER: by Wayan; 1994/2/3, a dreamtale on rescue fantasies.
A refugee girl crawls into my bed. We become lovers. I protect her. But over time... am I holding her back?
CAUTION: ABUSE? OR NOT?
|RICH KILLER: by Wayan; 1994/2/1, a dream on abuse and rage.
A rich serial killer in a sports car flaunts his virtual immunity, till I go after him in a light plane...
|THE RING'S ELBOW ROOM: by Wayan; 1997/8/17, a Tolkien dreamlet.
Widely held notions manifest easier. I could forge Sauron's Ring, and it'd really work! But do I want to?...
|(THE MEANING OF) RINGS AND TURQUOISE: by Wayan; 1998/11/1, a dream on independence.
I'm in the park, feeling sad, till a girl on the lawn near me semaphores a message via rings and turquoise...
|THE RIPPLE EFFECT: by Wayan; 1992/6/19, a double dream of false judges.
A dream of innocent incest turns guilty, grows into a war of ghosts versus a cult of sneaky sexy psychics...
CAUTION: SEX, INCEST ISSUES, NIGHTMARE
|ROCKET BREATH: by Wayan; 1989/2/17, a physics dream.
Floating in my parents' house, I get trapped in free-fall! How can I get a grip? (Nothing symbolic here!)
|ROSE AND THE THORN: by Wayan; 1986/7/1, a dream on those too meek to ask.
We're swallowed by Swamp Sofas and enslaved to The Man Who Prays on Us. Time to grow some thorns!
|SAINT BRIDGET: by Jenny Badger Sultan; between 1963-68, a dream on adversity's uses.
In a Scythian church, a painting says "Little St Bridget was bound so hard that when they released her she flew"...
|SALIA AND CHUR: by Wayan; 1989/2/25, a psychic Star Trek dream.
Our starship signs up a strange new woman whose quirks turn out to be fallout from slavery...
CAUTION: SEX, ABUSE ISSUES
|THE SAN DIEGO CENTAURS: by Wayan; 1985/1/9, a slice-of-life dream.
In San Diego, I fly around disrupting the UFO games in the junkyard, till I reconnect with a centaur friend
|THE SELL-FISH WITCHES: by Wayan; 1983/6/29, a dreamtale.
My sister and I are runaways, developing psychic powers. A cult of fish-selling witches wants to use us...
CAUTION: SIBLING INCEST, SPELL ABUSE
|SEVEN SQUARED: by Wayan; 1994/2/18, a dream about the IQ closet.
In our wizard-war, I've hidden my nature. At last I come out; but I can't tell the whole truth...
|SEX THERAPY: by Wayan; 1998/5/18, a dream on the messiness of healing.
Both of us were abused as kids. Sex is hard. So we go to a therapist who has us act out sex on the floor...
CAUTION: SEX, ABUSE ISSUES
|THE SEX WORKSHOP: by Wayan; 1997/4/6, a dream on taking the next step.
The teacher of our sex workshop picks me for a demonstration in front of everyone. Gulp...
CAUTION: WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK?
|THE SHADOW OF LIBERTY: by Wayan; 1989/7/8, a possibly telepathic nightmare-comedy.
My sisters get bored with the game of power, so I watch TV--till it melts, and a terrifying giant rises to chases me...
|SHY NO MORE: by Wayan; 2008/8/13. A dream poem, Dreamverse #3
I play the lovers in a teen romance: shy abused boy, insecure girl. But I get tired of the script, and...
|SILKY CROSSES THE ATLANTIC: by Wayan; dreamed 1982/8/24, painted 1994 (acrylic/ink/xerox).
After I fled my batterer, I was afraid to love--afraid I'd give up my freedom again for mere kindness...
|SILKY RELENTS: by Wayan; 1997/3/8 a dreamtale on undoing old injustice.
My anima Silky plans to kill a man who hurt her. Instead, we make them re-enact it, with variations...
|SISTERS OF THE INTERFACE: by Wayan; 1983/12/21, a shamanic dreamtale.
My sister's beautiful; I'm plain. When she's murdered, I ride into the Interface Desert, where worlds meet...
|SLAVE MARKET: by Wayan; 1998/9/10, a dreamtale on freedom.
Business solved the problem of cheap foreign labor: slavery's legal again. So our firm buys cheap losers...
|SLOW PARK FIX: by Wayan; 1996/9/24, a diagnostic dreamtale.
Infected glass-cuts scar the vegan alligators in the park. As part of a cleanup, I'm told to EAT one...
|SOCK PUPPETS OF THE GODS: by Dee and Wayan; 100K, 1994/4/14. Parallel shamanic dreams!.
A dance classmate asks a bizarre question that haunts me. That night I dream I'm suicidal--nearly kill myself. Then I'm shown the flow of human development--the same pattern, from souls to civilizations! Eddies and knots recur, but each time, the challenges get more spiritual. I wake up stunned. Then I learn what a shaman I know just dreamed--and now I'm unsure whose dream this is.
|SOUL-BOARD: by Wayan; 1989/1/12, an illustrated dream poem.
Africa. My horse trusted me as we faced lions and fire, but to face the Soul-Board, he must trust himself...
|THE SPHINX APPROVES: by Wayan; 1991/5/2, a dreamtale on growth.
A great war shrinks to wrestling, then hopping from page to page! Once they were worlds to me, but now...
|A STAB OF ANGER: by Wayan; 1997/5/24, a Jurassic Park dream.
By a midnight lake, I comfort an abused girl in the mud. But then two figures with long knives appear...
|STABBED ALIVE: by Roswila; 2007/10/9, a nightmare-poem
I defeat the knife-wielder, in spite the blade in my belly I can't pull out. I may have to let it be...
|THE STAIRWELL TEST: by Wayan; 1980/9/7, a pedophilic defenestration dream.
An underage girl comes on to me, and then asks me to... throw her down a stairwell?!
CAUTION: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!
|STAY GROUNDED!: by Wayan; 1988/2/27, an unexpectedly grounded dream.
I'm playing poker with a dragon. But we barely dare move: we're both crackling with thousands of volts...
|STEP THIRTEEN: by Wayan; 1997/7/8, a rebellious dreamtale.
Two realities pester me (like big spoiled babies) to care for their mythic figures. At last I go on shamanic strike...
|STICK IT BACK ON: by Wayan; 1980/7/15, a scattered dream still hiding a point.
The tollman on the new bridge to the Land of the Dead revives a beheaded woman by RANDOM action...
|STRYCHNINE FORGIVENESS: by Wayan; 2008/3/31, a diagnostic nightmare
I meet a woman on an oxcart who's sure we all want to poison her--but that's made her forgiving, even noble...
|STUCK SNAKE: by Wayan; 2011/9/8; a set of dreams that out-Freud Freud
Girls flash and strip and crawl into bed with me, but I'm blind to their agenda--till I become a snakeboy and discover the real limitations of phallic symbolism...
CAUTION: NUDITY, STUPIDITY
|TAROT: MINE CHILD: by Wayan; 31K. Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1978.
Deep down in the strata inside you, gems lie waiting in the dark. Waiting for this child to dig them free...
|TEN THOUSAND MAD GHOSTS: by Wayan; 1996/9/3, a psychic nightmare.
A toxic site in Silicon Valley isn't a chemical spill, but angry ghosts, killed in a camp and forgotten...
CAUTION: THE CAMP TURNS OUT TO BE REAL
|TERESA'S BILLBOARDS: by Wayan; 1988/5/1, a dream about trust.
Teresa mistrusts men. Her best friend Sabina comes on to me in front of Teresa, who blames me...
CAUTION: NUDITY, BETRAYAL, GENDER PARANOIA
|TERRIBLE HORSE: by Louise Bogan; 1941, poem of a healing dream
A stallion reared to strike me. He was all the fear and rage I’d repressed for 35 years. I cowered til a woman said “offer him...
|THEY USE ME TO MASTURBATE: by Wayan; 1980/9/18, a two-edged dream.
My sisters and their best friends all use me for sex. Sick, but I discover it's better than I USED to be...
CAUTION: JUST PLAIN EMBARRASSING
|TIGER TALL: by Wayan; 1992/7/3, a marathon dream.
I'm a tiger from Planet Cat, visiting Earth to run in San Francisco's "Bay to Breakers" race. I knew racial tensions were high, but why is William S. Burroughs out to kill me? Oh. Because...
|TO HELL: by Katie Hofgard; 2003/4/19?, a nightmare of loyalty
I loyally served a demon who punished me until at last he sent me to hell. And STILL I didn't rebel...
CAUTION: BLOODY ABUSE
|TOP-DOWN FREEDOM: by Wayan; 1984/7/19, a dreamtale.
The government quietly ends all taxes and services in a small town just to see what'll happen...
|THE TYRANT'S WIFE: by Wayan; 1980/6/9, a dreamtale.
In our plot to kill the Tyrant, we used his wife. Or... did she use us? She goes mad, but--she's HAPPY...
|UN-AMERICAN FANTASIES: by Wayan; 1996/7/19, a dreamtale.
The All-American Family visits the fabulous Un-American Fantasy Store, where Mom is in for a shock...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY, LANGUAGE
|UNDER THE FUR: by Wayan, 700K total (5 p, 140K each), 1997/10/7; a color dream-comic
(or plain text version, just 10 K)
A strange creature slunk into our yard, carrying a skunk lunch. But she dropped her fur coat, and...
|VIRGIN ON THE VERGE: by Wayan; 640 x 680 tall, 1992. Digital picture/poem/rant.
Ever since I was battered I feel like a virgin again: longing, but wary--scared where sex may lead...
CAUTION: CARTOON NUDITY, SEXUAL THEMES
|WASTE: by Wayan; 100K, 1990/5/15, a desert singles poem, 11 images.
A road trip through New Mexico mutates into a tour of my relationship disasters...
|WEAVING MATS: by Jenny Badger Sultan; 2009/3/15; a predictive dreampainting from the Box of Dreams
In a camp, women wove mats. I was tempted to try. But it was months until I learned what they'd really been weaving..
|WENDY NEGLECTED: by Wayan; 1996/7/22, a paradoxical dream.
Ari neglects Wendy till she doubts she's sexy. I show her she is. But am I using her too?
CAUTION: SEX TALK
|WHEN THE SPIRIT MOVES YOU: by Wayan; 1996/5/1, an alternate-world dream.
An empire of creatures who go into seasonal heat has affected its human neighbors--or bred a new type...
|WITNESS: by Patagia, 2006/2/16, a poem of a redemptive nightmare
A woman I had wronged set her pit bull on me! Hand in its jaws, I gave in, and we both began crying...
|WOMBERS: by Wayan; 1997/8/23, a journal entry on peace-at-any-price personalities
Nancy Friday describes a certain kind of guy disturbingly like me, and I realize chronic illness has made me...
|YAKETY YAK: by Wayan; 1984/5/1, a dysfunctional dreamtale.
I'm at a family dinner. Killer Grampa, kid-hating Ma, larcenous Dad. Then a bum offers some advice...
|YOGA SAINT: by Wayan; 2010/12/4, a disturbing diagnostic dream
I wanted a dream on my recurring headaches & bellyaches. I meet my illness--a yogic saint who punishes jokers, flirts and cynics for their worldliness...
|YOU NEED TO FIND HER: by B. Bigham; 2010/4/27, a strong psychic dream of history
I walked into a 19th century home--and family quarrel. Suddenly decades passed in seconds, and the house burned--with me inside.
Two years later I learned by chance that the house and its history were real...
|ZERO SUM: by Wayan; 1996/5/29, a game-theory dream.
I'm lecturing to a crowd: "Love's a win-win game, and abuse, lose-lose. But blame is zero-sum..."
|ZUCCHINI GIRL: by Wayan; 1996/9/23, a dreamtale on acting out.
I find the truth about my childhood. My parents lied! I hide for days, then dub myself Zucchini Girl and go onstage, humping squash, calling it performance art! So do my friends see a problem?
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