Mom thinks I'm on a Leash
Dreamed 2019/3/10 by Wayan
I'm in the Stanford Library where I work in the catalog room--or at least shouldbe working. I'm actually busy with an art project--sketching and writing on scratch cards.
Marcy, my mom, walks up--alive again. She says "We have to talk." Do we? I've been estranged from the family for months--or years. She's tracked me down and decided unilaterally to insist on a weekly talk. I grudgingly agree to talk--once.
But I say "not in here, those tables and chairs just outside--my co-workers are listening in. They'll even interrupt. No sense of privacy."
My mom says "not out there, I've thought this out. The top of Hoover Tower has a cafe. Private, great views."
I object to the cold wind. She says "No, it's glassed in."
I agree--to one talk, now, not one a week as she wants. Funny, she seems to think I have to; thinks I'm dependent on her, a trust fund baby, so she can call jerk my leash.
But that's false! I severed ALL ties with my parents--financial, not just emotional--precisely because I didn't like their leash. My life's not great--still very narrow. But it's mine. Independent. I see nothing to draw me back and no reason to comply.
So I'll hear her out. Once. And only once.
NOTES IN THE MORNING
This was a warning dream I failed to recognize. As a direct consequence of workaholism in March through early April, I got very sick in late April/May. If this is independence, I'm not using it wisely!
So my dead mom wanting regular meetings might symbolize something way simpler than I thought: death! If I don't start regularly checking in with the fact I'm mortal, I'll work till I drop. And I nearly did.
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