Dreams of nagging, guilt tripping, manipulative criticism, and the delightful people (and sides of ourselves) who indulge in these recreational pastimes.

Fritz Perls wrote a lot about this game between the nag, or topdog, and the nagged, or underdog. It's a game you can play for your whole life... if you like having your blood sucked. His prescription was simple, one-sided, drastic, but effective: underdogs must defy the naggers. Even if the nagging's truly meant to improve you, it just creates resistance. It never, ever, ever works, so just ignore the nagging and do what you want, openly, instead of hiding it or being ashamed that you're such a low, stupid, wicked, tacky person. Since you'll do it anyway, why not save time and trouble? And underdogs who go for what they always wanted, rarely go wild--they're often happy with just a taste.

I concur. In my dreams, underdogs indulged will often grow into subtler, stronger characters who do finally attain much of what their topdogs hoped they'd achieve; but tossing a bone to a topdog usually just encourages them to find more to nag about.

RELATED TOPICS: embarrassment and shaming - guilt - pessimism, skepticism, scoffing - shadow figures - dream-guides - teachers and mentors - See also the full INDEX OF SUBJECTS.

The World Dream Bank has 1500 dreams and dream images plus 500 other pages on dreamwork and shamanism, creativity, genius, art, surrealism and fantasy. Unless otherwise noted, all material copyright Chris Wayan, 2001-2006.

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	ACORN AND PELT: by Wayan; 1983/7/19, a simple sex dream growing to a mystical extravaganza I fall in love, defying dwarf-tossers and Toulouse-Lautrec, till I become a time-traveling bunny... CAUTION: SEX, SIZE DISCRIMINATION AND SLANDER
	ARIANE'S HONEYMOON: by Wayan; 1986/4/11, a short dream; chapter 2 of UNICORN TAG, a set of nine linked dreamtales. I'm happily married to a childhood crush of mine. Till she talks to my sister, and I overhear what she really thinks of...... CAUTION: SEX TALK
	AT LEAST HE'S A DOCTOR: by Wayan; 1982/4/7, a sharp warning dream. I'm a Puertorriqueña girl. I fall for an Anglo doctor, but he's not what he seems... CAUTION: UNDERAGE SEX, CREEPY GUY, VICIOUS FIGHT
	BLIND ANCESTORS: by Wayan; 2007/8/6, a nightmare poem about all of us While we’re off at work, blind Ancestors come smash our homes--and we all take zombie vandal relatives for granted...
	FISHERGIRLS: by Wayan; 1.5M, 42 illus.; 1996/7/15; a sexy dream epic. I had a spectacular dream one night, that lasted many days in dream-time--a true other life. It wasn't Earth, and we weren't human. I was a teenage lemur, sailing with two friends into unknown waters--a rite of passage. I woke on deck deep in the night, my friends curled around me, and realized I didn't WANT to pass the test, be declared a grown woman, marry and have pups. I loved my girl friends. In a world lacking the very word, I was groping toward queerdom. Sailing into unknown waters! "Here be dragons," the old maps say. And they were right... If 1500K is too big to load, try it in parts: 1: HOME, 450K, 2: VOYAGE, 680K, 3: BACK 400K. CAUTION: NUDITY, SEX, QUEER TEEN ANGST, ANTI-FUNDAMENTALISM
	FRACTURE SPEEDS MARRIAGE: by Wayan; 2001/1/1, a dream of advice on health and romance. A baseball star breaks her leg (with a little help from the other team). It delays her career but but speeds her marriage. Did she NEED a....break?
	FREEZE!: by Wayan; 1984/5/29, an asymptotic dream. Demons of fire invade the house, and the Voice of Truth says they can't be killed. What would you do?
	GRAMPA HAS SPOKEN: by Wayan; 1989/11/26, an oracular dream. In a worldwide junkyard full of warring spooks, I finally meet the one whose message I need to hear...
	HARPY: by Wayan; 2000/6/2, a stylized nightmare My dad's paralyzed, my car's stolen. So I dream a stylized harpy made of steel, like a living Calder statue, holds three girls hostage...
	JILL THE PEST: by Wayan; 240K, 2001/2/22, a nondream visionary comic. I had a headache and couldn't sleep. I started drawing, and asked for a cure. And a cartoon angel said... CAUTION: TANTRUMS, MASTURBATION, JUNKFOOD, ANGELIC SCOLDING
	LOSE YOUR TEMPER!: by Emily Joy; 2007/8/30, a tough-love dream. My mom hires a therapist who really goes for my throat! Why is she so desperate to make me lose my... CAUTION: OVER-THE-TOP CONFRONTATION
	OWL AND CHEESE: by Wayan; 1986/7/8, a dreamtale of a Shadow? An alien woman makes a mess of our economy, ecology, world--but insists she wants to be my friend...
	REFLECTIONS IN THE POOL: by Wayan; 184K total, 2 panoramas; a 1994/7/2 dream. Night. A mirror-maze of contradictory preachings. But in the secret mermaid pool, I find love. Then... sphinx-angels war in the air! A war of riddles. Can I, a batwinged devil, make peace? CAUTION: SEX, NUDITY, MEAN ANGELS, AND ONE HAPPY DEVIL
	SHARK SENSE: by Wayan; 1988/12/9, a diagnostic dreamtale. I'm a circus tiger, then a performing shark. One day, I block my human partner's high dive... Why?
	SOUL-SHARD: by Wayan; 2000/10/5, a rebellious dream I’m a wolf in an ashram studying astral travel with my spirit-wife. Our souls blend a bit, enraging our guru, a Hindu god, who sends demons to make us stop this spiritual “contamination”...
	TAROT: GUILT TRIP: by Wayan; 20K. Tarot card, 3x5", 1978-1981. When the card CARING comes up reversed, you wake up with this crucified guy floating over your bed...
	TURTLE HARANGUE: by Wayan; 1997/1/29, a warning dream. A man mocks the turtle he caught, calling it "inept"--what's an adept turtle, then? I distract the guy while it...
	THE UNMAKING OF A DANCER: by Wayan; 1994/5/22, a journal extract on dance and health. Ballerina Joan Brady quit, but ten years later, returned. Her body rejuvenated! So what can MINE do?
	THE VERA DREAMS: by Vera and Wayan; 1991/7/25, a pair of shared/psychic dreams. I dream my friend Vera's ordered to just study and sleep--no play, no dating, no nothing. Next night I dream Vera works with gangs, as an armed peacekeeper. Vera's shocked when I tell the dreams, because...
	VRILLASSA’S ONLY PRIEST: by Jo; 2007/2/10, a dream of meeting God A job as the only priest on an island colony sounded perfect, only I’m the wrong religion... CAUTION: DOGMATISTS AND DEAD BIRDS TALKING

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