1: PURPLE SQUID

I'm looking at a roadmap of the solar system. How far out among the gas giants do I want to go? Lonely highways out there; it's a long way between gas stations.

But I never get to decide. My road trip is called off. You see, Jupiter has an eccentric moon, in a cometary orbit, which is really a big spaceship. The Jovians who built it are screaming-pink squid. And even though they're aquatic, they invade Earth! Fighting Jupiter's high gravity has beefed them up till they can run around on land, here in our wimpy field. They build (or find) some kind of dimensional bridge between Jupiter and Earth, and spill over in a squiggly squid-horde. There were prophecies about the squid invasion, but of course no one listened. I think it was the color. Shocking pink armies just aren't serious, right?

Wrong.

California gets most of them, as usual with immigrants. And they just ruin our gardens, like the snails from France before them. Molluscs! I don't mean to be racist, but...

I wake up from this stupid dream and sigh in relief that our garden isn't being eaten by yet another pest.

Then my closet door bursts open and out leap three magenta squid, two meters tall, waving ray guns, and glaring with their huge slit eyes, dark-adapted for that dim Jovian light. They hiss furiously "Why are you eating our kinfolk? Why should we not kill YOU?"

I flee the squid conquistadors.

2: DEERHEADS

I hide from the squid in an Oregon forest. Washington? I'm lost myself, now... At last the path widens and comes out on the shore of a large lake, full of low, brushy islands, covered with huts.

Oh. Not islands. Huge log rafts! They form form pontoon bridges across the lake. But when the people see me, they pole warily away from shore, as if I'm a threat. They aren't human people, but giant disembodied deer heads--no, wait, they have tiny bodies, trailing like afterthoughts. The Deerhead People.

The deer, too, tell me to stop eating meat. Because I need a lot of protein, I try to strike a compromise deal allowing dairy, eggs, and sea creatures that don't have centralized brains, like clams mussels and scallops. But they say no. Even being a vegetarian isn't good enough, they say. "What about bugs on your lettuce?"

"Now wait a minute! What CAN I eat? YOU eat vegetation, bugs and all."

But they're inflexible--if I don't give up eating, they refuse to let me cross their pond.

3: TOE-EATER

So I wander on. Come to a big rambling human farmhouse. They let me stay the night, and relax in their Olympic pool. But I feel paranoid about the Squid Prophecies. If they find out who I am, will they blame me for the invasion, think I'm the personification of Evil, and crucify me? There are clues to the prophecies in the house. Even if I'm not Evil Incarnate, he's probably around, looking for clues himself. I almost want to meet him! Might help me, might kill me, but I'm so sick of running I don't care which anymore.

Someone in the swimming pool bites my toes! Is this a dead end, is my quest doomed? Or is it justice? I ate aquatic things, so now they bite me back...

But things get better. Several people, each of a different species, join my journey. My sister Miriel is one.

We enter a forest of shared trees--their roots interlink to form a vast living organism. Intelligent?

A huge purple Jovian squid follows us into the forest alone. For once, it's good we're chased by a squid. You see, now one of every intelligent species on Earth is in this wood.

Just like the Canterbury Tales! Are we representative pilgrims, or what?

4: THE GODDESS SHOWS THE WAY

As long as we're holy pilgrims now, I wish for a better situation than being nibbled to death by giant squid.

And my wish is granted! A Goddess shows me the way. Well, at first she tries to discourage me, but I insist. We pass flood damage. There's a dorm waiting for all of us, but I feel neutral, and she downright disapproves, so we push on. The path winds through redwoods now, into a valley; the mountains are still far ahead.

Next we meet an old woman, a Mystic Crone, who tells me "Your familiar, Silky... she's Evil!" But then she badmouths another woman too, and we run into Silky herself, and she's a beautiful young girl in this dream: charming, sexy, and warm.

Defeated, the old woman gives up character assassination, and takes up jogging.

5: THE TAO OF DENNIS

And so the Goddess leads me to a mentor, an ancient sage who can teach me the Tao. The sage she picks for me is... Dennis the Menace. He's about six. He's always about six.

Dennis lives in a strange place full of books, and platforms covered with rocks, where you're supposed to rest. Lumpy but, well, lumpy.

The Goddess tells Dennis and me to balance our time between hiking, resting, eating, reading, socializing, and so on. Not that Dennis needs to be told, really. He's famously distractable: this is his strength! Letting your attention jump around, following your active point, is what builds health.

I must live with Dennis the Menace till I've learned how to be distractable, irresponsible... healthy.

A WAKING NOTE

Though normally vegetarian, I'd been low on protein for the last few days, and when I was offered some free leftover lobster, I ate it. But the dream's full of guilt about it... even though it critiques the guilt for going too far! Eating leftovers is just sensible--it kills no one. And the rules I proposed to the Deerheads are what I normally live by. If harvesting a food involves hurting or killing a creature with a brain, forget it. But more than that is unreasonable.

The dream had some fun with the guilt--once it'd tipped me off by letting the Deerheads go too far, the dream went all out: toe-nibblers, antichrists, prophetic crones, animas, goddesses, blah blah blah... If THIS dream can't teach me skepticism toward LAFWAMs (Looming Archetypal Figures With Authoritative Messages)... what can?

But I do believe the last message, the last mentor... Dennis the Menace. Childish distractability is the path for me!

I'll follow it diligently--for at least five minutes.

YEARS LATER

Years after I had this dream, I read The Merro Tree by Kate Waitman, a novel about artists in a future galactic society. Early in the book, I'm startled to meet a grumpy, hot-tempered alien squid! True, it turns out conquest's not her thing; she turns out to be just a frustrated costume designer. But still... So I read more closely, and found I recognized our hero's mentor, too--a sage who (due to a unique accident) has become, physically and mentally, a near-immortal child. He's small, brilliant, distractable, troublemaking, and happy. Dennis the Menace incarnate! An eternal Dennis the Menace...

I am not making this up.

World Dream Bank homepage - Art gallery - New stuff - Introductory sampler, best dreams, best art - On dreamwork - Books
Indexes: Subject - Author - Date - Names - Places - Art media/styles
Titles: A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - IJ - KL - M - NO - PQ - R - Sa-Sh - Si-Sz - T - UV - WXYZ
Email: wdreamb@yahoo.com - Catalog of art, books, CDs - Behind the Curtain: FAQs, bio, site map - Kindred sites