I'm Annie Oakley, sharpshooter, facing something scarier than gunmen: a formal ball
introducing me to my new husband's family--Austrian aristocracy! What's an American gal to do?
I fear falling? The drop increases. Want a softer surface? The rocks turn to dirt, then water.
Want help? Here comes a flying dolphin. Oh, but I'm not dreaming...
Aristotle keeps marrying my friends and fucking them up. So I challenge Mr. Logic to a shamanic duel...
CAUTION: THE F-WORD. OOPS, TOO LATE! LESBIAN FISH, TOO.
A burglar-girl and I spy on the neighbors together and we learn a weird Zen lesson on commitment...
CAUTION: SEX TALK
DREAM: a concert by autistics admits my bandmate Mike but locks me out! I summon thunder & quakes till they open up...
AWAKE: I called it metaphor--till it happened. I was sitting silent in our band's recording session and Mike asked me to leave...
CAUTION: AUTISM & APPARENT E.S.P.
Our toy train full of nude baseball players went under the park sprinklers, so naturally our
shortstop shelters her friend the outfielder snake. But in there? Isn't it just as wet in there?
CAUTION: SCALY SEX
Two time-traveling paleontologists get a gift from their friend the Bee Queen. A gift with six-inch fangs...
A publishing-house error made them reject Tolkien's mythical work, and demand a sequel to The Hobbit...
My top-heavy friend Beryl borrows my ass and legs to become
a centaur so she won't fall over. But I want them back, so...
CAUTION: CRUDE AND STUPID
My friend Beryl wants me to help rob a bank, so she can
cut off her breasts and be a great opera singer...
My friend Beryl's ghost makes mad love to me--just long enough to swipe my Kundalini energy...
CAUTION: SUCCUBISM?
I try to fly in my birdsuit before I have feathers! Can I? Starring the cast of Three's Company...
CAUTION: LAME SEXUAL INNUENDO TYPICAL OF THREE'S COMPANY
My crazy friend Wayne goes bowling for busses with a black egg. Wait! Crazy? Or... predictive?
CAUTION: GEORGIA O'KEEFFE BEHAVES DISGRACEFULLY
I'm a wizard chasing crooked politicians in a big city. They have a car, I hop a trolley--
only on the astral plane it's a giant blue millipede, and...
CAUTION: RECKLESS DRIVING, THEFT OF PUBLIC MILLIPEDE
The world's first all-bulemic band, Veronica and the Vomits, provokes a riot at our local punk club. So I go to
Anorexic Bootcamp where models learn self-defense under fire, as calories and fat jokes whiz by...
CAUTION: BARF, HORNY ANOREXIC, FOOD FIGHT
A sexy encounter with two robotic girls hopping a night train outside Portland...
CAUTION: THREESOME
I'm bad. I'm really bad. I know I shouldn't have done it. But my mail-order breasts were late...
CAUTION: BREAST THEFT
I'm Bugs Bunny. I torment Daffy Duck till I learn that in many time-branches the New
Deal happened late... or never. I decide to prod a reluctant Franklin Delano Roosevelt...
CAUTION: FIRESIDE PETTING, DUCK TORTURE, BAD POLITICS
Cleo the talking kitten denies being a cat, so I invent Wolf-N-Puma Chow!
Must I play similar games to nourish that other feral critter... me?
A woman who posed as a Starfleet officer discovers other frauds on board. She blows the whistle on them...
1521: I ask a talking ape how long I'll live. "Four years" he says. "No longer?" "No."
26 years later, I'm still hoping to get truth from dream-figures--two dead guys tell me...
CAUTION: JUNGIANS BEHAVING BADLY
All her life, Cartwright dreamed of a figure disguised in a harlequin costume; she never saw his face.
He always drove her to self-sabotage. But near her death, she dreamt she gave a lecture, and he...
My writer-friend Cecy will do anything to get published. Anything? Oh, believe me, ANYTHING...
CAUTION: BONDAGE, not to mention POSTAGE
As a mob of Hollywood stars beats me up, I ask for autographs--and get them.
I sell the autographs to fund a statue of the beating--but with me smiling...
A girl with a magic swimsuit flashes me, as her Iranian fundamentalist aunt glares from beyond the veil...
CAUTION: NUDITY? OR ILLUSION?
At a beach, children stage a practical joke full of interlinked "accidents." How many kids knew the goal was murder?
CAUTION: MALICE
I touch the secret soul of a cancer survivor, upsetting her. To apologize, I become a goofy hopping god...
CAUTION: FONDLING SACRED FIGURINES
Calvin Coolidge takes over the White House and invites
his rich fossil friends over for a bath and a song...
I visit a world of ravenish people, the Corvi, who banished their longtime
partners, the wish-granting Fey, calling them parasites. I decide to meddle...
Coyote invades an abstract painting to expose why the art world loves that high-concept, impersonal art...
I'm Coyote, keeping the Business Prophet from taking over Dante's Peak. But it turns too personal...
CAUTION: IDIOTIC VIOLENCE
Coyote's pagan parody of the Christian Lord's prayer. Well, actually, it's kind of sweet..
CAUTION: SACRILEGE, ESPECIALLY THE BIT ABOUT TEMPTATION
A true tale proving the Trickster God really will provide. We're lilies of the field!
I'm an Asian kid in Pacifica, California. I offer my annoying parents for sale on Craigslist. Enter a cop...
On the Euphrates, a monstrous crocodile eats all his kin. But when a winged ship appears, he feigns remorse...
A crow offers me a ride. I hang on tight and he flies me up into a beech tree where lots of other crows
perch and talk. Then he flies me to another tree and leaves me. I think "How am I gonna get down?"...
Tossing out old papers, I find a dream about crows who
whack pigeons with baseball bats, ending with this moral...
Cartoonist Robert Crumb just turns off all taboos while drawing. A learnable technique...
CAUTION: LANGUAGE, CARTOON SEX
The only man in the Miss America Japanese Tea Ceremony Swimsuit Pageant, I learn a tearful lesson...
CAUTION: DYSFUNCTIONAL FLIRTING
I'm a girl in rural Victorian England working as the county's magical protector. I have my
hands full: a gang of thievish orphans has holed up in an invisibility tree! Showdown at the oak...
In the far future, I relive Odysseus' tale. To save my life I must give up realistic hope, and focus on...
CAUTION: CANNIBAL MONSTERS
How my dad got onto the board of directors and made the organization his own...
I'm a protester in Dallas, fighting Reagan's cops. A werewolf kills two of them.
I may be its real prey; is police harassment distracting the wolf from me?
CAUTION: VIOLENCE AND DISTURBING PREDICTION
I dreamed of South American musical intrigue in a grand hotel. Enter a polka-dot shapeshifter...
I built a sex-maze to reprogram businesspeople, but I only grasp its meaning when I fuck City Hall...
CAUTION: SEX, LANGUAGE, RADICAL POLITICS
I'm a reporter. In the mall, I get my pocket picked repeatedly--
but the thieves keep slipping mysterious stuff in, not out...
CAUTION: PUN
I'm in a car with Walt Disney. A blonde comes in out of the rain.
He promises to make her a star, and puts his hands...
CAUTION: NOT GRAPHIC, JUST UGH
A doctor lures me into his office. What he turns out to be scares me less than how I defend myself...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE, ARACHNOPHOBIA
Dr Who, that lovable BBC alien, grows a sappy flower-face and
allies with Death. An alarming turn-around! What's he up to?
CAUTION: GOOD DOCTOR GOES BAD?
I'm actress Nicole Kidman, clinging to the dome of City Hall like King Kong, ripping it to shreds! Why?
CAUTION: VANDALISM, REVERSE SEXISM, EXHIBITIONISM
Looking in a mirror, Julie goes lucid. She changes herself into a man
and pulls her mirror-image through the glass...
CAUTION: CARTOON NUDITY
A dragon's daughter seeking her inheritance defies a sneaky dragon-realtor out to own the world...
In Old Palmyra, I stumble on a dragon-hoard. Wizards and caliphs hunt me--how to get out
of town? Magic carpet? No. I put on a brown coat, borrow a delivery bike, and slowly pedal...
I dreamt an eagle slaughtered my twenty geese. I wept until he spoke to me: "Take heart! I am thy husband..."
Granny's magic nipple helps me foil the yuppies dumping toxic
waste. But does it count if I did it just to save my own...
CAUTION: CRUDE TALK; STETHESCOPIC NIPPLE
Lights on the moon! Future cities shine. Gotta fix that time-slip. But in
shaman-space, the moon's a deerskull up a tree! I take it down, pocket its
jewel-city-eyes and try to stew the moon. I'm Coyote, so my cookery goes wrong...
I'm an intellectual ballerina trying to stop zombies hatching from stone eggs, but I succeed
only when I become a dragon using touch, scent and visualization to persuade the eggs...
Patagia dreams she fakes a Hindu rite, causing Electra to dream she fakes leadership in a refugee band. But are they faking?
A dream of a shaman named Fred who tried to use a bear as a lightbulb. Fred, Fred, Fred...
A Star Trek future. Our experimental ship is hijacked by illusionists, with us aboard...
Books are clothes, and always were. A potato makes me lie, and everyone gets it but me.
Sex in a crowd disarms the Mom Squad! And a Mystic Autistic's soul explores my room...
CAUTION: PUBLIC SEX? PROBABLY.
A boy offends his uncle the King, who transforms him into a fox. Grounded! But Fox-Boy runs away...
The goddess of the Cult of Clutter catches a little thief, and tastes her to see if she's worthy...
I was the first woman made High Commissioner of Baseball. One day a team of mutants begs a franchise...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, BAD TEAMWORK, HORNY BEES
Freddy has plans for me and Telly Savalas's daughter. But to lure us in, he must know what
we want. But what does Freddy want? If we can find out, we might just lure him, too...
My friend Linda and I are walking in the Castro, when a tourist girl jams her tongue in Linda's mouth...
CAUTION: SERIOUS TONGUE
A child from another universe materializes--part way. Too bad we called in that expert from Stanford...
A whimsical spook causes a chain of crashes--a pedestrian dodges an elephant, swerving a car
that shoves a cyclist into a luggage-wrangler whose rolling suitcase panics a dog who runs into...
I was in the Mission with friends. A giraffe saw me as narrowminded, and lifted me up
to show me HIS viewpoint. No insights--till we topped the roofline...
A snotty shopkeeper won't let a kid have a balloon, so she teleports one through the display
window! Blind to the magic, he just scolds her and takes it away. So her mind reaches
through the window to liberate every balloon in his store! And then, 26 years later...
I date a girl with a mysterious syndrome, but soon I become a monkeyfaced con-man. And SHE becomes...
I live through two teens' nightmares, then "wake" with them to find they were drugged by a third party! Why?
Then I'm with a cheery wagon-crew of flirting griffins & talking horses, pulling a cart made of grammar or logic.
Six days later... detailed images from both dreams appear on TV!
CAUTION: CREEPY, THEN SAPPY, THEN FREAKY
James Hillman is the first psychologist on the moon! He sees a shadow and
panics like a groundhog--mistakes it for Death. Not his own shadow, but MINE...
I want to meet my friends' spiritual teacher, but he cowers, runs from me in horror.
I chase him yelling "BOO!" Why am I acting as his nightmare? I don't know...
A con artist fools me and a waiter. But if my dreamfolk are all me, who's fooling whom?
I change sex to infiltrate a sinister castle, unaware its Lord can spot a shapeshifter--being one himself...
CAUTION: A DISTURBING BEDSIDE MANOR. I MEAN, MANNER.
A rabbit shaman makes his student drape dead hedgehogs round her neck til she bleeds. How to free her?
CAUTION: FURRY NUDITY, ABUSIVE MENTOR
Two teens crack a bank with a homemade rocket--but forgot a crowbar! Caught, but
the bank can't press charges; the kids have proof the bank uses slave labor...
CAUTION: DISSES CAPITALISM
A huge bridge spans the Pacific; my depth perception reaches miles instead of mere yards.
A crowd worships a guru hidden in a tent on a pier. I don't trust him! He has hidden in tent...
CAUTION: THE JONESTOWN MASSACRE
My little brother catches and rides a fairy goose down steep mountain slopes, demanding it grant his wishes...
I'm stuck on a jet full of cartoons. We get hijacked by a kid who just wants
pilot practice, and then a talking cactus counter-hijacks us...
CAUTION: THE F-WORD
I built a Bavarian treehouse with a great view, hoping Hitler'd confiscate it.
He did! Now he's exposed to Allied spy planes--and assassination...
CAUTION: CHILD-MOLESTING THERAPIST
The Goddess's harp, that calls in the seasons, just passed on. But the new harper has a shocking admission...
Thieves stole 100 of our horses. The tracks suggested white men, but that night
my dream Helpers declared them Sioux. We tracked them across Montana...
In a club, a new genderbending band. One singer gets me hot, but completely confused--for good reason...
CAUTION: SEXUAL SITUATIONS, GENDERBENDING
We're hiking in the Sangre de Cristos when a girl offers to show us how to be a wolf. We're
eager--until she turns wolf, bites us and leaps off a cliff! Furious, we stupidly follow her over...
CAUTION: NUDE FLYING WOLVES
A mysterious stranger offers free wishes to the kids of Hannibal, Missouri. Tom Sawyer wants to fly...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE
I wanted to be human, but Mom said "You'll always be just a lousy caterpillar." So I slipped inside
a human girl. After some arguments with her boyfriend, I got born as a human-faced butterfly...
CAUTION: UNDERAGE SEX AND MOM
I flee our love triangle when Abe turns mean. He's telepathic, but
I have my escape all planned: the goldfish, the snakepit, the caves...
CAUTION: THREESOME, SNAKES, MOTORCYCLE FATALITY
I'm Jean-Luc Picard, and my Enterprise has been taken over by a pack of brilliant, paranoid wolves...
I read Allan Bloom's The Closing of the American Mind; I dream
I'm a pilot who deduces an alien illusionist's in my plane...
My friend put an ad on her gown, so I try one on our house. I have big ideas for more, but a pickpocket...
I dreamt I met my friend Karen, looking like she did years ago... except she was
towing around a son about seven years old! And she'd been childless. I called her, and...
I'm at a party in an air-lake. We fish for a girl who's gone invisible. But... what if we catch her?
I feel a drag, and take off my safety belt. I find I've been towing an invisible buggy with two men in it...
A children's recital of "Where the Wild Things Are" turns into a riot-orgy. And it feels... political?
CAUTION: WILD THING ORGY
I'm a California Indian wandering through time, keeping
our secret of time-travel from reckless white guys...
I'm slipping dimes into a boulder of jade: a vending machine that fills every order wrong. Why feed it? Well...
At a dream workshop for kids, James's trickster dream-figures provoked Jessica to dream one chased her;
fleeing, she jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, became a mermaid, and married the trickster...
Our black cat Purr and our new blonde kitten fly around as if jet-propelled
dive-bombing the roof. Alarming, but their cat-reactions aren't like mine--
fast as a test pilot! For me it'd be suicide; for them, just playing...
After watching both Star Trek & Doctor Who, I find I'm held prisoner by the Rani
and her laser-toting tiger guards. So I meditate--and manifest a jetpack and a laser gun!
I never deduced I'm dreaming; it's not lucidity. It's simpler. What have I got to lose?
I had a headache and couldn't sleep. I started drawing, and asked for a cure. And a cartoon angel said...
CAUTION: TANTRUMS, MASTURBATION, JUNKFOOD, ANGELIC SCOLDING
Writer Joan Grant, who was a psychic and trance channeler, got a sort of reading herself, from H.G. Wells...
When the school district goes bankrupt, students flee creditors into a hell-cave.
But Joe Cool can skateboard even on lava in the Pit...
I'm a sexy singing beast, the Krelkin, trying to lure the Reading Man out of his Moral Kiosk...
CAUTION: NUDITY, INTERSPECIES FLIRTATION
AL repeatedly drew a bizarre, recurring dream-guide named Kolchec; years later he met
SARA, who'd painted her dream-guide, a distinctive spook named--oh, take a guess...
CAUTION: WILL DISTURB ESP SKEPTICS
I was walking in the Mission, in San Francisco, when two sisters came up to me who no one else could see...
CAUTION: FURRY NUDITY
R.D. Laing gives two examples of dream-spillage suggesting it's not passive but playful...
I'm watching MTV. Laurie Anderson gets inside my remote control. I try to change channels
and she turns my head into an apple. I grope for a potato peeler, and carve a new mouth...
This big red rabbit in a straitjacket was chasing me through a big gothic mental asylum. Scared me silly...
I find myself in astral China. The Empress is banished, the Jester rules. Wisdom is lost.
We need an Imperial Dragon...
The black bird hovered above my cradle, and several times struck me with its tailfeathers between my opened lips...
I'm pushing a safe off a roof in Berkeley so it won't be pushed off the roof
(yep, you read that right) but it pulls me with it! Either die, or go lucid and fly...
Two jealous women symbolize Hillary Clinton & Donald Trump. Trump wants me to KILL Clinton. I lie to avoid...
CAUTION: SLEAZE? OR A SLY WAY TO PROTECT VICTIM?
To investigate a criminal couple, I have to lie. And that's hard, since all my lies turn true...
CAUTION: NEW AGE AND FILM NOIR DON'T MIX
My housemate Lily is a lion. She bursts into my room. Stare-down. And then she pounces. So I...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE! MUTUAL GLARING! THE VULCAN NERVE PINCH!
Lions trap me in an African cave with only coffee, paper and pens! Is this what it takes to get me to write?
I join the alliance against humorless humanoids who are invading funny-animal planets...
Windsor McCay's dream-comic Little Nemo is gorgeous but plotless & passive. Or is it? Dreamwork is gradual...
Little Nemo's bed gets restless and takes him for a wild ride through town and up onto roofs...
I'm a shaman in Nunavut who has to teach a guy in a lizard
suit (and his foxy niece) that reparations have limits...
On the show Finding Your Roots, it turns out my dad's a genetic experiment born in...
1880?! The experiment worked; my sisters and I are slow-maturing, long-lived mutants...
What I write in my books and think I have made up has a creepy way of coming true. I noticed it first...
CAUTION: DISTURBING INVOLUNTARY MANIFESTATIONS
A bear-girl seduced by her coyote professor gets a
little advice on revenge from her anthropologist mom...
I'm a fight promoter. But my biggest deal ever is growing out of my control.
Mammoth versus Rex, sure. But now it's a four-way bout--schoolbus, whale...
CAUTION: CRASS ACT
I stood in the desert preparing for a contest with a man and his snake. But he cheated! Then my cat Lulu intervened...
On a downtown street, a classmate is singing for change. I can't resist seeing if I can distract her...
CAUTION: THEY'RE BOTH EXHIBITIONISTS
On Old Mars, before it died, two rival families' teasing finally goes too far, despite the whale's warning...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE
I'm inside a magical novel by Patricia McKillip, amid tricksters, cosplayers, spooks, sex changes, levitation and (sigh) cops...
CAUTION: COYOTE SEX
I meet a shapeshifting mentor who warns of coming war (9/11?). Then a sentient book, "The Art of War," gets intimately involved...
CAUTION: ELECTRODES, LIBROPHILIA
At Sea-Dragon State Park, I climbed down to the sea serpent's dressing room after the show, and found...
CAUTION: MERMAID BREASTS
A priestess guarding a Thai temple in the forest has a strange problem:
her breasts rebel, escape and scurry round like hamsters
under her skin; they don't like that Buddhist restraint...
CAUTION: WARDROBE MALFUNCTION
I fly, send dreamails, discuss dreams with dream folk, punch a wall to test dream-pain, reach into mirrors...
I'm a mouse with a protest banner saying "FREEDOM!", having a slight argument with a cat...
I hide a chip of secrets from thugs, fight a running light-gun battle, and hide in my workplace's
crawlways, amid live cables and pipes. As the factory burns, I run a gauntlet of goons. A girl
leads me into the underworld. Fires glow and mutants dance. I marry the leader of the pack.
A dream haiku telling of a dog-pack saved by the intuition of a mutt with a mangled ear...
At last, I get shown in the museum! Sort of. Homeless people sell my art from carts in the lobby. Stolen!...
A woman with two teenagers breaks in and says she's my ex-wife and they're my kids.
I'm in my twenties; I CAN'T have teenage kids. And I have no ex-wife! Just my girlfriend Cassandra.
Forty years later it all makes sense. It's not about me then, but John now...
CAUTION: ADULT THEMES--TRULY STUPID ADULT THEMES. E.S.P., TOO.
The full moon rises: I become Weregirl, do the Moondance, and gnaw open the lock on my heart...
CAUTION: MOONING
I free a friend unjustly imprisoned. On the run, we encounter our Life Paintings. Mine is a beautiful pegasus flying. But on its back is a monkey in a red suit...
I love a Naiad who's lost her God. Tragedy strikes us. I'm devastated till I meet the aliens who explain...
Giant worms put me on trial for wearing a nameless hat, but I like their punishment so I taunt the judge...
I wished I could kiss my son farewell. That week, Ethel called. "I dreamed Ned kissed you, not me!
I was hurt. He laughed like anything and kissed me too..."
Ow! My body parts grow & shrink... A mad orchestra leader pulverizes me for nonconformity...
The Brady Bunch crams siblings into a waterpipe one by one. I'm next! My bones crunch...
I'm blindfolded, perched on a miles-high needle piercing my big toe. Blood drips down...
CAUTION: GLEEFULLY GROSS
1: I sketch two deer-girls making videos. 2: I pull a man's nose off, and milk the scene for drama before...
3: My old boss is convicted of murder! 4: I wake and two friends interpret #3 as "Overwork is killing you..."
I wake again. My dream-notebook's blank. No friends here; their interpretation was a dream too....
CAUTION: NUDE DEER
My new bedroom has huge windows, but no blinds. I pin up bedsheets for now--flimsy.
A girl walking by peers in. Wait--we're 50' up! She's in my room--and transclucent.
I yell "WHO ARE YOU?" She looks shocked I can see her, says "No one really" and fades...
Two boys dream robed figures climb in the window to cut their hair--and find, awake, someone has. While Pliny...
I fall in love with my sculpture of a mythical Southeast Asian creature. Then a mad yogi breaks in...
CAUTION: SEX, TANTRA, AND GENERAL WEIRDNESS
An orange tiger with wolf ears jumped on me. I was surprised but not scared, as if it were just a big dog.
The next day, shopping, my daughter thrust an orange wolf-eared hand-puppet in my face, jaws open...
I'm a spy tracking down coinlike bombs. Fighting a double agent, I fall in love!
So I suggest her gang rob golden-parachute bankers...
A child of radicals goes wild in Rio. When we bail her out, we find she's had a strange enlightenment...
CAUTION: UNSAFE SEX
A coy, giggling giant orange bounces onto a man's bed, trying to seduce him, and...
I show an Ohio friend the latest California sport. But
we haven't quite worked out how to land just yet...
An alien woman makes a mess of our economy, ecology, world--but insists she wants to be my friend...
Two child artists mail themselves to me in their paint kit, and
start a painting orgy that gets messy in more ways than one...
CAUTION: PEDOPHILIA, OR MAYBE PEDOPHOBIA
My art teacher said "Draw a spiritual experience." I tried, but that night, I dreamed of sharp-toothed...
CAUTION: TOPLESS MEDITATORS
I froze to death trying to climb an icy peak. But I try again, and this time,
no holds barred. Wow, am I selfish! But alive...
Dad's human, Mom's a weird owl-lynx, the kid's a baby Pegasus... and I,
W.C. Fields, that fat cynical drunken old actor, am the babysitter...
I suspect the pinball champion of Jupiter is cheating. I try to scare her psychic confederate out of hiding...
I love the Twins. They love intrigue. So when a hired crocodile sabotages our Egyptian treasure-hunt...
CAUTION: BAD GIRLS
Janet's obsessed with a creepy guy till her pixy friend Kay decides to "knock some sense into her cunt"--literally...
CAUTION: LANGUAGE, NASTY LOVE SPELL, PIXIE NUDITY
On a cloud in space I met an ape molding a model of Earth, glancing at the original far below. We were much alike...
Two mimes terrorize our art class in a stretchable bear-suit. Well, we HOPE it's just a suit...
I meet the terrible Power Behind the Gods. I don't like it. So I get my squirtgun & shoot its butt.
The enraged Power chases me as blindly as I hoped! I jump into a secular universe, and...
CAUTION: SACRILEGE
Three big tap-dancing kidnappers is too many to fight. So I try admiring their kidnapping technique...
A bunch of primitives try to trick their way into the Federation, slipping around the Prime Directive...
My sister's avoiding our nosy parents, but I sense they'll run into her soon. I just didn't know HOW soon...
I'm a telepathic rabbit defending our world from space-laser attack. We do, but do we modernize too much?
CAUTION: IDEAS
Suddenly I hate and fear black kids in school! The counselor says I'm clinically paranoid: I need drugs!
My dad says "How strange, how sad." And goes home to light a candle at his shrine to the Confederacy...
CAUTION: INDUCED RACISM
My friend Chris gets tied up at the office--that's his job, looking martyred! But when the boss is away...
CAUTION: NUDITY
In our steamy future, after the cities drown, I'm hiking through Rainbow Tunnel, when I meet a holy man...
Bob is at the window asking to be let into my house. He is dressed as Santa Claus; but I think he's really...
CAUTION: MURDER ATTEMPT
My parents invite me out to dinner, but there's a rattlesnake under the table,
and my mom chases it up my leg. I wake to find two holes in my knee...
A raven summons a levitating mirror that shows her face as a human, and
tries out moods & expressions based on Tarot cards plucked from a tree...
20,000 years from now, a deer-harpist named Razi finds the Holy Wino's not quite the ruin he seems...
CAUTION: BAD PENGUINS, DEER NUDITY, RUDE DRUNK
All I usually hide, I strip bare, & vice versa. Like that Playboy cartoon with the stockings & gloves--the Femlin!
Behaviorally, too, I reverse all my habits and judgments. Perverse, self-destructive! But my life still works...
CAUTION: CARTOON NUDITY. ALSO, A LOSER SUCCEEDS.
Night. A jungle full of prowling lions and leopards. So naturally, I get up on a rock and roar back...
My mom and sister take me to see a bondage film. But the movie steals my pants! I should have known...
CAUTION: WORSE THAN PEEWEE HERMAN
I dreamed of a woman whose jeep stalls on the Antarctic ice. Along comes the ghost of a Volkswagen...
The Inner Theater. I'm duelling someone who keeps changing the rules. But so can I... can we make a deal?
As she told me her dream of receiving jewelry--a golden scarab--
I heard a tapping on the window behind me. I opened it. In flew...
I can fly and breathe water. So I fly into art-rich mansions, though
not to steal--I earn plenty from undersea massage...
A puzzle-game of eyes and mirrors and shadows starts revealing the players' deepest secrets...
A fictional niece acting sexy in a shirt, plus... water balloons? I woke, and a friend told me HER dream...
CAUTION: DREAM INCEST, KIDS WITH GUNS, GENERAL WEIRDNESS
A man adopts two orphaned, talented musical griffins. But their previous guardians were
so traditionalist & stifling that the cubs want to BURN all their instruments...
I wake in a strange frozen bedroom. Oh. My bed is Siberia! That means
there are tigers. Clearly the way to defend myself is with giant stuffed toys...
I'm a trade rep for Terra, on a new world. But an old rival, a rep from another world, arrives, and...
From a crowd in a gym, I sing to my wolflike alien friend. But she can't recognize my voice--
too convincing a falsetto! I slide deeper, but once she heard a girl, she can't imagine...
My dead father said a trusted servant was stealing our goods through an unlocked skylight. This proved true...
Stolen by the Fairy Queen, I'm forced to nurse her great project: creating life! But her synthetic baby is...
I cross San Francisco on public transit--a network of children's slides. One leads into...
A wormhole full of aliens, where a goofy-haired reporter interviews a hacker...
Samuel Pepys dreamt of kidneystones, pee, come, & snot--or did he? Thomas Macauley dreams his niece confesses...
I'm a peace terrorist trapped in Squaw Valley, herded like a mare by a huge stallion made of snow...
And then the dream shifts. I blurt out the truth behind our idiotic waking world! And wake believing it...
CAUTION: MERMAID AND HORSE NUDITY
My sexual orientation shifts arbitrarily, turned on one second, off the next. Who's at the controls?
CAUTION: SEXUAL CONFUSION
I dream I'm suicidal; but I'm saved when I'm shown the flow of human development--the same pattern,
from souls to civilizations! Eddies and knots recur, but the challenges slowly get more spiritual.
NEXT DAY: I learn what my shaman-friend Dee just dreamed. And now I'm unsure whose dream this is...
CAUTION: IDEAS
I'm a wolf in an ashram studying astral travel with my spirit-wife. Our souls blend a bit, enraging
our guru, a minor Hindu god, who sends demons to make us stop this spiritual "contamination"...
I dreamt a sparrowhawk perched on my shoulder. Next day a friend was given a stuffed sparrowhawk. He...
The world is a whirlpool, a black and white spiral pulling me
down toward a black hole, and it's laughing...
Our physics project is top secret, but a stranger strolls into a meeting and opens a can of green light...
I love Splinter, but her mom insists I got BOTH of them pregnant. Then I notice I'm pregnant too...
CAUTION: SEX, NAGGING
Divers made of ice win the Traffic-Leaping Olympics. But
I think they cheated! I seek my friend the Sphinx...
An underage girl comes on to me, and begs me to... throw her down a stairwell?!
CAUTION: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!
My unconscious sabotages a lunch date with my friend Stephanie. The tricks get weirder, till...
A woman masturbates constantly at work, then greets businessmen with her hot sticky handshake...
CAUTION: SEX
I envy and resent a rich family's mansion so much I break in and sabotage their giant meat freezer...
CAUTION: HOSTILITY, ENVY, WASTE OF BAD FOOD
This strange girl reminds me "I rode your bike recently but you forgot." She's right! Rode it in an earlier dream...
My sister and I are on a ship abandoned by its crew, heading full-steam for the rocks, when...
Chapman dreams he must walk 100 miles to London Bridge; on the bridge, a stranger says
"dreams are nonsense! Why, I dreamt of buried treasure 100 miles away, in some town called..."
I met an elfin girl who's tattooed realistic vaginas all over her body, as... decoys? For she has...
CAUTION: NUDITY, TATTOOS, TABOOS...
I'm Sybil Sue, a hard-boiled shapeshifting shamus, on the track
of the most wanted bankrobbers in LA: the Bad Girls...
CAUTION: IN BETWEEN GUNSHOTS, THE BAD GIRLS SWEAR
A bounty hunter stalks me through a jungle, but lucidity turns a potential nightmare to joy...
Chased by purple squid from Jupiter, I seek refuge with a guru the Goddess recommends for me...
This grumpy little greenish Scotsman rode a 'sulky', a one-man buggy, pulled by
a playful black mare. I worried her clowning was a safety valve leaving her unfree...
Kaleidoscopic constellations? No thanks! A nudist town in Italy? Ugh.
Ah, but singing vaudeville in a monk's robe & roller skates...
CAUTION: CARTOON NUDITY
I was a mermaid trying to find Count Coyote's stolen dreams, so I could marry my human girlfriend...
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEX, LESBIAN MARRIAGE, ANTI-FUNDAMENTALISM
I was barren. I asked Asklepios, God of Healing, to make me pregnant. Soon I was--for 3 years, until...
A woman in Tibet disassembles herself! A local god hires her spirit,
but she uses the office equipment to backup her memories and...
CAUTION: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME
I buy a charming ruin in the woods. Newlywed tigers prowl! The tiger bride
tells me "He expects predictability. But I'll show him what a tiger really is..."
Golfing in the basement with Giselle! But her ball goes through a Stargate
to land on a world where the water hazards are hazards...
I'm a modern girl facing pirates from the 17th Century Caribbean. Outgunned, but I
have something intimidating to bluff with: perfect teeth...
A toy's delivered, unasked. A jumping jack. It tries to eat me! I defeat it but then peer in the box to be sure...
I dreamed my husband's ship headed for India, but a 'tin fish'
sank it with just one casualty--him. I rushed down to the dock...
I walk in a vast graveyard full of history's most famous
people and treasures. But it's all fake, built to test your...
Evicted. Lawsuit. I dream a lawyer sends me a letter full of fox-girls! In East Asia, foxes
mean trouble, but these are friendly--good news is coming! I wake to find we've won a home...
Changelings invade our orbital station, selling drugs, kidnapping teachers--but Constable
Odo can handle that. What's weird are the beans pouring out of that kid's tuba...
A man mocks a turtle he caught, calling it "inept"--he knows adept turtles, then?
I distract this fisherman-ranter while the turtle quietly tiptoes...
A "friend" gives me her TV. No wonder! Turns out it's haunted
by a small-minded devil who cheats on all his deals...
I'm climbing a tower, as my dad, Apollo, drunk, throws bottles at me from the top, breaking bones...
CAUTION: DENIAL ABOUT ALCOHOLISM
My mind and my soul both apply for a job in Stanford Cathedral. Their rivalry grows to a shamanic duel...
The All-American Family visits the fabulous Un-American Fantasy Store, where Mom is in for a shock...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY, LANGUAGE
In our cult, we lie in vats of goo till we grow wings. But we're feared more than we knew...
CAUTION: SPECIST LYNCH MOB, NUDE IN SCHOOL, LESBIAN FEELINGS, OBSCENE CARROT
After a visit from our landlady's angry, crazy son
I dream hungry velociraptors invade our house...
Trapped in a blend of Joan of Arcadia and The Tempest Tales, I'm tired of being the pratfall sidekick...
Blondie Wiggle builds a Video Igloo. But I'm allergic--TV kills me! A BAD omen for our video project...
CAUTION: TV KILLS (BUT YOU KNEW THAT)
On a gene-engineered world, the Prime Minister tries to assassinate
the Bug Princess by tricking a well-meaning smartlawn...
I help a brilliant, starving composer turn his family curse into a profitable business...
A friend who's a sorceror's apprentice shows me his Dark Master's tower. And
his Dark Master's bed strewn with all his stuffed animals! I just can't resist...
I'm stuck on a runaway bus. So we decide to picture the axle falling off, and
it obeys! But the bus zooms on, carried by a horde of little animals...
CAUTION: ESP SKEPTICS WILL LOATHE THE AFTERWORD (true story, though)
DAY: I work way too much--art projects plus helping a friend get her lost data back...
DREAM: A gun nut threatens me, so I claim I bent his gun. Really I just bent spacetime.
He flees atop his toy car, letting it steer--it's smarter than he is. That car winks at me...
A writer I meet either starts flirting with me obscenely,
or advising me about eyecare, or... are those the same?
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM
My job's to feed the wolves downtown with the heads of tuna-human hybrids; I mystify the pack
with a blend of skating, ballet and rope tricks. Wait, could this work on scary humans, too?
Restrain yourself! Or you too may end up on a giraffe
rollerskating down the freeway singing perverted popsongs...
A yuppie idealist discovers her boyfriend's a cheerful opportunist, and they disentangle their lives...
CAUTION: SEX IN REVERSE