My life was a sex disaster. I was a nervous anorexic noodle boy.

But then one night I dreamed I was a nervous anorexic noodle girl, who'd looked for years for a healer who really HELPED. And I just found one--a guide through the jungles of food, body image, sex and love. This therapist I'd found didn't just preach. She LOVED her body. And it responded. She looked gorgeous and her skin looked like she was still sixteen. Maybe she was. I didn't ask. I had a role model, that's all I cared.

So I told my parents "I found a healer who works!"

They ask "Is she ugly enough? Is she old enough?"

I was puzzled and asked why youth and beauty are bad.

"Young girls are stupid and dependent." said my father.

"Beautiful girls are shallow and vain." said my mother.

"Oh." I said.

And woke up.

Or at least started to wake up.

My parents are leftists and they fought the media-spell, the images of women as stupid, as sex objects--and as useless if they're ugly or old. But their counter-spell has become a curse: beautiphobia.

This collage, dominated by a satyr-girl named Waria but full of drawings of sexy dream-figures who were guides or friends to me, reminds me that sexy isn't stupid--or shallow.

You need not be old or ugly to be deep.

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