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Abreast of the Competition

Dreamed 2013/10/9 by Wayan


I bike to a group show at Live Worms Gallery in North Beach. A friend said it had edgy art--a place to show my dream art, maybe meet my kinda people. No. A lot of blah work--the only pieces I like are Jamie Ehrfurt's calligraphic horses. Ten minutes with the art and I'm done.

The artists? They only talk (and drink a lot) with their friends; it's not a crowd, but a granular collection of cliques. No one attracts me so strongly I'm ready to risk breaking the formidable, unspoken barriers in the room.

Feel disappointed. Go home after barely half an hour among the Worms. A long tiring trip back in the dark.


I'm inside an American TV show from the 1990s, one I've never seen. Luckily, it's a comedy with sympathetic characters. Stars two best friends, Quin and Vera.

Quin's a small skinny girl who isn't quite human--herbivorous, long-necked, pointy-eared, her ribcage narrower and deeper than human, more greyhound shaped; tailed? Psychologically, she's like me--more unicorn than human.

Her best friend Vera is in contrast a very human girl, competitive and ambitious--and busty and beautiful and a bit spoiled by having any guy she wants. She's recently felt a little threatened by her friend, though Quin's younger, and na´ve, and up till now no competition. But this year, Quin grew breasts at last.

Tall girl, Vera, in red top, glaring at delicate Quin, perhaps a unicorn-human hybrid? Dream sketch by Wayan. Click to enlarge.
Naturally Quin, being a unicorn, with an instinct to defend her herdmates, tries to defuse Vera's competitive feelings. She talks as if no one could match Vera's beauty, and jokes about her own breasts: "Okay, yeah, this year a few boobs popped out sideways." Methinks she doth exaggerate. A few? Just two--she's part unicorn not part dog--and they're just slightly angled to the side not front--not surprising, since her ribcage is so narrow and deep.

But Quin chatters innocently on about multiple boob eruptions, not even realizing how strange her jokes sound to humans, as she tries to reassure her herdmate she won't go swiping Vera's stud stallions--as she sees those boyfriends.

Ironic. Being nonhuman myself, and sharing her herd-protective instincts, I find Quin funny (and sweet for trying) even though her talk is untrue--she is competition. She's adorable--was all along.

To me. All the others on the show just stare at the weirdo girl. Or glare.


The problem is: where?


I'm still wondering that.

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