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Dreamed 1991/4/7 by Chris Wayan

Dream: I distract my housemate Lily, a lioness, from pouncing on me by twirling a pink bunny eraser.

I never mess with my housemate Lily, because I'm only human. And Lily's not. She's a lioness.

But today, I do. I poke her! She wakes up and growls. And says "MONKEYS have the right to tease me, since they can run up trees. But you HUMANS..."

Still, I know she won't attack me if I'm armed. So I grab my pencil, with the cotton bunny for an eraser, and distract Lily the Lion by twirling that bunny in her face. Cats are such suckers for motion! The moment her eyes focus on that bunny, I flip the pencil around and threaten her with the point. The pencil is mightier than the sword, y'know!

But she sees through my bluff, and attacks. It's a classic lion pounce, you've seen it a thousand times on nature shows: she reaches out her long tawny arm and pinches a nerve in my neck, trying for the Vulcan Knockout Spot! And I'm afraid she's close--I don't drop on the spot, but I feel dizzy, my breath goes fast and shallow. Only seconds left..

In desperation, I reach out and pinch HER, one hand pinching her face, the other her own paw. I let instinct guide me--I don't know martial arts, but I do know, from my own body, where a pinch will really, REALLY hurt!

She glares into my eyes one last second, as everything starts going dark...

And her great paw starts quivering on my neck.

And Lily the Lion backs down.


I wake and write the dream down. I'm speculating on the profound symbolism of a twirling bunny eraser, when my door opens! This is a shock, since my door lacks a proper lock, so it's understood by all my housemates that a shut door means "leave me alone!" But my housemate Lily opens it anyway, and barges in, and starts talking. She has an exciting idea I just have to help her with!

I glare at her from my bed, holding my pencil, silent, and wait coldly for her to notice. She talks on, a full minute, before trailing off. She tries guilt: "You won't even stop writing to listen to my idea!"

"No. Not now. I'm busy. Busy writing. Writing a dream. Writing is what I do. I'm WORKING, Lily. That's why the door was shut. I'll listen when I'm DONE." She glares. Our eyes lock. This isn't about listening. This is about power. Her right to pounce on my attention when she pleases.

I glare stonily.

For a moment she tries looking hurt, but from my expression she can tell that's not going anywhere.

And then she turns and pads out of my room, leaving the door open.

I close it before any more predators wander in.

And finish writing this dream... which Lily nearly killed and ate.

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