I'm having a numerical sex dream. That's awkward.

See, I'm a giant wolf, though I change a lot--my proportions, paws and tail vary from scene to scene--sometimes I seem part Chewbacca or Bigfoot. The only constants: huge, shaggy and toothy.

I fall in love with a human girl who's being threatened by interdimensional beings--they keep opening windows in the air and trying to snatch her. The aliens are high-tech but not too brave; faced by tooth and claw, they panic.

I try to adjust my changing body down to one still big enough to drive off her abductors, but small enough so sex is practical.

There's a formula for sexual compatibility. Two to the seventh power is the key ratio--the mass or volume of my paws compared to her human feet? In the dream, I work out that that equals 128, and this of course can be approximated by five cubed, 125, so my paws should be about 5 times as long as hers, or 120 cm / 4' long (not 155 cm / 5'; her feet aren't a full foot long).

But... this seems WAY too big for us to be compatible mates! Even double-size seems a stretch (hmm, no puns here). Surely quintuple won't work! Yet I double-check the formula and all my sources agree: not two cubed, two to the seventh!

Do we exist not in three dimensions, but SEVEN? If so, the visible dimensions--height, length, width--would each just double. If time's the fourth dimension, our lifespans might double too...

Or maybe... I'm smart as any human most ways, but what if wolf brains just can't multiply right?

Aoooooh! These mounting problems!

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Canines, Chewbacca/Bigfoot, numbers: before bed I saw part of Mel Brooks's Star Wars parody Spaceballs, with Barf the canine copilot sitting in for Chewbacca--crunching numbers, crunching dog treats...
• Spacetime portals, human girl, huge canine partner: all echoes Star Rider, a really odd science fiction book by Doris Piserchia I read years ago. I suspect the limp comedy of Spaceballs made my dreams think back to a better story, though one too weird for Hollywood to ever make.
• Canine-human couple: read a fanfic online where three kids tried sex with their dogs. Awkward, but at least there was no coercion, humiliation, pain or alcohol poisoning, unlike so many all-human sexual initiations...
• Numbers, size difference, problems: Today I had to replace a broken Venetian blind 23" wide with a different brand just 22.5" wide; over an hour of tedious work mounting & remounting new brackets--less than a millimeter off on a single screw and it threw the next off more, and the next, errors mounting until the mount wouldn't fit. Grrr!

Oh. "Awkward mounting problems". Sneaky dream pun!

Look how my dream turns Freud upside down, too--rather than nonsexual images expressing sexual frustration, here a sexual image expresses nonsexual frustration!

Plus that teasing mystical touch. Are we really seven-dimensional, not four?

It'd be just like us not to have noticed.

World Dream Bank homepage - Art gallery - New stuff - Introductory sampler, best dreams, best art - On dreamwork - Books
Indexes: Subject - Author - Date - Names - Places - Art media/styles
Titles: A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - IJ - KL - M - NO - PQ - R - Sa-Sk - Sl-Sz - T - UV - WXYZ
Email: wdreamb@yahoo.com - Catalog of art, books, CDs - Behind the Curtain: FAQs, bio, site map - Kindred sites