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Butch and Femme

Dreams about extremes--contrasts and comparisons of masculine and feminine, or tough versus sensitive... and yeah, I equate the two. Feminine and sensitive mean almost the exact same thing, in American English at least.

Oh, what the hell. I'll fess up. I'm in the femme camp. Pretty extreme, too.

Though the slang terms butch and femme put the debate in sexual terms, that's not the whole story. If you're femme, or love a femme you just can't understand, I recommend "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine Aron. It's not another pop-psych book; she makes a strong case we're a distinct biochemical type that American culture penalizes--though most other cultures (for sound reasons!) value sensitivity. Aron's case is as strong as the one against homophobia or fat-prejudice. But then, even those took years to penetrate America's thick skull...

RELATED TOPICS: Gender in general - sexism and other bias - dominance and pecking order - shyness - assertiveness - See also the full INDEX OF SUBJECTS.

What this site is - Add your dreams! - How to read blurbs - Ratings - Copyright - Downloading - The World Dream Bank has 3300+ dreams plus 1000 more pages on dreamwork, shamanism, surrealism, fantasy, worldbuilding, creativity and genius. Site © Chris Wayan 2001-2013.



ANIMATION TODAY: NO PEARLS, LOTSA SWINE: by Wayan; 1986/1/31, nondream thoughts on animation
What makes so much animation all feel the same? Temptations inherent in the medium...
ANSWERING JUNG: by Wayan; 2005/7/5, a dream parodying one of Jung's key dreams
After reading Jung's dreams, I have an anti-Jungian dream of sexy nightmare-statues
waiting to come alive, like the tree I draw and bring to life...
CAUTION: NUDE STATUES
ARTSHOW IN A DREAM: by Wayan; 1983/6/28 & 9/18, twin dreams on modern art's blindspots
Jaundiced dreams of an art show spell out just how deeply I reject the rules behind modern art...
BOY BODY: by Wayan; recurring dream 1959-62, a comic on body image. Or illus. text version
A recurring childhood dream on how weird a boy-body is when you've been a girl too many lifetimes.
CAUTION: PUBLIC HUMILIATION, NUDE MONSTERS, SILLY GENITALIA
BOY TRANCE: by Wayan; 1989, a digital sex change.
Boys still get portrayed as businesslike in sex, girl as floating orgasmic jellyfish. Time for a sex change...
CAUTION: SEX AND LIMP RUBBER ARMS
BOYS: by Wayan; 1993-99, a gender-equity poem.
When girls get their clits cut, even the UN takes notice. But mutilate boy genitals, and... big yawn!
CAUTION: TALK ABOUT SEX AND VIOLENCE--BUT HEY, IT'S ONLY BOYS
"CLIT!": by "D'Jeanna"; 2009/9/11, a breakthrough dream after coming out
The day after my mom outed me to my dad, I dream a great storm has passed through and everything's just glowing...
A DATE IN MINSK: by Wayan; 2009/8/23, a possibly psychic dream of adaptability
A spacetime traveler inadvertently strands his pacifist vegetarian date in a gun-crazy mob-run town...
CAUTION: DEFAMES BYELORUSSIANS
A DAUGHTER TO DOTE ON: by Thomas Madden; 2017/9/17, a dream on gender? Family pressure? Both?
My dad saw a mob killing; our family enters witness protection. But why's my new role female? Well, my parents...
CAUTION: WILLING OR UNWILLING DRAG?
DAWN SAYS 'SCULPT MASTURBATION': by Wayan; 1997/8/3; an advisory dream
I dreamed my sculptor friend Dawn insisted I sculpt a girl really,
um, relaxing. Took me a mere 13 years to act on the dream!
CAUTION: SKETCHED & SCULPTED MASTURBATION
DEER AND WOLF MYSTICS: by Wayan; 2015/2/1; an odd peacemaking dream
The wolf and deer people are getting along well--a relief since I like both.
Now, can the wolves learn from the deer how to open their third eye?
DEER VERSUS PIGS: by Wayan; 2015/5/20; a practical-joke pair of dreams. Or is it just a joke?
Deer-mares join our theatre class. Adorable! Then pig people. Not adorable. I wake & sketch them.
Hear voices--sexy singing deer on TV! Wow, my dream was predictive! And then I wake AGAIN...
CAUTION: FURRY NUDITY
THE DEMON TODDLER: by Wayan, 2015/5/5, a creepy dream about... bears? demons? humans?
After a nature show on bears and a horror-parody film, I dream of a man and a demon toddler
in a sick relationship. At least it sickens all of us...
CAUTION: DEVIL AND PEDOPHILE: WHO'S CORRUPTING WHO?
FAMILY JESTERS: by Wayan; 2017/3/15, a dream mixing Kurt Vonnegut and My Little Pony
Coastal unicorns are slender; inlanders bloat. Genes, diet, both? Inland bosses enslave their gracile minority.
Performing pets! Jesters caged, chained & handicapped to heighten the wonder they can do their art at all...
CAUTION: TROUBLING SOCIAL ANALOGIES
THE FLASHBACK: by Wayan; 1985/11/28, a dark dream-farce.
I'm a monster working in a shopping mall in Stockton, California, when I smell smoke...
CAUTION: FILM NOIR SEX
FOSSIL BARBIE: by Wayan; 1978/9/27; a dream of non-teamwork.
I dreamed our Medieval football coaches all blamed the ugly Potato Person for all evil...
CAUTION: NUDE POTATO
FOXY ANCESTOR: by Wayan; 1998/7/25, a subtle dream.
A famous inventor is descended from foxes. Their faces teach me something about beauty and character...
HEART CHAKRA: by Wayan; 2011/5/8, a dreamlet blending Indian mysticism and the movie Megamind
I'm a digital superhero, rubbing red-orange oil into my fake skin. I have six more
colors of oil to rub in, six more chakras to heal. But first things first!...
HICKOPHOBIA: by Wayan; 1996/5/13; 2-page dream-comix (or plain text version)
Whenever I run out of ballet class to Japanese without asking my classmate Wendy out, I change sex...
CAUTION: LANGUAGE
JACUZZI JAIL: by Wayan; 1979/10/12, a dream of parental poison.
My family has shackled my little sister in a hot tub full of carcinogenic bubble bath...
CAUTION: INCEST ISSUES AND A SLIGHTLY DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY
KICK HER: by Wayan; 1994/8/9, a gameshow nightmare.
I'm a blonde gameshow bimbo. Each week, I'm beaten up. Ha ha ha! But my bruises are real. At last, I...
CAUTION: GAMESHOW FROM HELL
LESBOY: by Wayan; 1996/5/20, a dreamtale.
My Aunt Squid advises me to join a lesbian artists' co-op. But I'm a man! Not for long, though...
LILY OXYGEN: by Wayan; dreamed 1984/1/19, drawn 2000; a strong psychic dream.
I'm Emily Dickinson reborn in 2100 as a breeder of hydroponic lilies, till my dad drafts me as
an Arctic energy-prospector, where I meet a ghost, a fiery Beast, a new me, and the girl of my dreams...
CAUTION: QUEER-POSITIVE, NUDE PROSPECTORS, GNOMIC DICKINSON QUOTES
LOVE DAY: by Wayan; 1989/3/21, a sitcom dream.
On Love Day you can't mock anyone's come-on, of course; but in the bar "Cheers", Carla's mad at Diane...
CAUTION: PRO-BIGAMY?
LUCID LIVING: by Wayan; 2007/4/8, a quasi-lucid dream of the future with 9 illustrations
Honesty induces a joyful state with lucidlike powers.
So I bike across the Lake of Time, open the book of my future, and see...
CAUTION: SEXY SKETCHES FROM THE FUTURE
MAKING PROGRESS STANDING STILL: by Wayan; 1990/10/1; a healing dream cartooned.
I dreamed I slowly climbed out of guilty longing to an exciting climax on the Escalator of Love...
CAUTION: CARTOON SEX, NUDITY, GENDER POLITICS
MARINE GEOLOGY'S NOT IT: by Wayan; 1984/6/2, a dream farce.
After finding marine geologists in my chocolate pudding, I'd rather be a Frenchman and insult my wife...
CAUTION: DECADENCE
MATILDA, or, HITLER'S GIRLFRIEND MULTIPLIES: by Wayan; 1998/10/1, a dream of math and courage.
I'm Hitler's girlfriend. Not Eva Braun, just me--gentle, weak, thrown in among killers. What can I do?
MATRONIZED: by Wayan; 1996/5/25, a real-life vignette.
An older woman I know nags me about food. Suddenly my mind flips our genders and weights...
THE MUMMY: by Wayan; 2003/10/13, a Rarebit Fiend nightmare.
A horror film and Rick Veitch's dream-comix provoke a nightmare
warning me that guilt about my dad is wrecking my life...
MY GATE: by Wayan; 1996/5/29; a bizarre, joyful dream; 4-page comic (or ill. text version)
The full moon rises: I become Weregirl, do the Moondance, and gnaw open the lock on my heart...
CAUTION: MOONING
MY WILDCAT WOUND: by Wayan; 1994/7/8, a dream on gender trauma.
I'm a wildcat in a cat/fox team led by a woman who wants us to merge with a man/wolf team...
CAUTION: LANGUAGE
NIXON NOSE: by Wayan; 1997/12/10, a short psychic dream.
A dream girl with a giant ski-jump nose turns out to be more literal than she seemed...
ON BEING NEEDY/NEEDED: by Roswila; February 2002, a dream-poem
In her kitchen she offers me shortcake. She's short herself, for she gives away all
to everyone--only her bodiless head is left...
ON HER FOURTH BODY: by Wayan; 1993/11/25, a psychic dream-comedy.
A sexy gene-sculpted singer (an ex-cow on her 4th body) solves the riddle that's stumping Mr Spock...
ONCE A HERO: by Wayan; 185K total, 9 images, 1998/10/22, a raw dream-series.
Sexy dreams of Chinese archeology, authorized by the fairies, make me face that my family abused me...
OTTO SUGGESTION TO A HORSE IN DRAG: by Wayan; 1995/8/8, a dream on body image.
My uncle mocks the racehorse he rides! Smears lipstick on this stallion, calls him a wimp... Why?
CAUTION: DREAM PUN, NUDE MARES
PIER'S END: by Wayan, 1989/2/21, a Raymond Chandler dreamtale.
My detective lover warned me, "Stay away!" Now I'm trapped. Dare I follow the lion over the edge?
PINBALL SHOWDOWN: by Wayan; 1995/3/18, a flirty game-playing dream.
I suspect the pinball champion of Jupiter is cheating. I try to scare her psychic confederate out of hiding...
THE PIRATE TWINS: by Wayan; 1996/7/25, a dreamtale on intrigue.
I love the Twins. They love intrigue. So when a hired crocodile sabotages our Egyptian treasure-hunt...
CAUTION: BAD GIRLS
PRAISE THE DANCING GOONS: by Wayan; 2008/10/16, a dream-poem: Dreamverse 34
Three big tap-dancing kidnappers is too many to fight. So I try admiring their kidnapping technique...
RIBBING: by Wayan; 1992/12/25, an assertive dreamtale.
After seeing 150 years of family photos, I dream of being teased by time-traveling cheerleaders, and...
RIDING MY UNICORN: by Wayan; 1993? Digital picture-poem of incubated vision.
I'm single and feeling shy. So I asked my dreams for an image of my true love, and got...
CAUTION: SEX
RING OF WHITE WATER: by Wayan; 1983/1/30, an epic astral dream.
I'm a raft guide on a circular river that may just be reincarnation. A girl in my
tour group jumps ship: she dreads the white water of rocky relationships ahead...
CAUTION: METAPHYSICS, SEX, WEAK SOULS...
ROAD Detail: MY GRANDMOTHER AND MOTHER WHEN YOUNG: by Wayan; 500 x 330.
They were both beauties and look rather feline to me--I'm drawn to feline beauties still, and wonder...
CAUTION: INCEST ISSUES
ROSE AND THE THORN: by Wayan; 1986/7/1, a dream on those too meek to ask.
We're swallowed by Swamp Sofas and enslaved to The Man Who Prays on Us. Time to grow some thorns!
THE RUNNING: by Wayan; 1997/9/27, a dream on sensitivity and the reverse.
I couldn't make it to Spain to see the Running of the Bulls, so I found an American equivalent...
SAFETY GETS ME HOT: by Wayan; 1997/3/27, a dream on sensitivity.
I'm trapped in a post-apocalypse pulp story! Fun for my readers, but not for me! How to escape?
SHEEPISH: by Wayan; 1985/9/24, a clear but stupid psychic dream.
Floundering through the snows of 1917, I fall in love with actress
Linda Evans, who is a sheep teaching ballet. When I wake...
SISTERS OF THE INTERFACE: by Wayan; 1983/12/21, a shamanic dreamtale.
My sister's beautiful; I'm plain. When she's murdered, I ride into the Interface Desert, where worlds meet...
SNOW STALLION: by Wayan; 1994/6/4, a tangled political/spiritual dream.
I'm a peace terrorist trapped in Squaw Valley, herded like a mare by a huge stallion made of snow...
And then the dream shifts. I blurt out the truth behind our idiotic waking world! And wake believing it...
CAUTION: MERMAID AND HORSE NUDITY
STARVATION?: by Wayan; 1995/8/28, a journal extract on body image.
On a poster of a model who's around my weight, someone's scrawled STARVATION IMAGERY...
CAUTION: DEFENSE OF SKINNY PEOPLE
STICKY FINGERS: by Wayan; 1997/4/18, a dream on self-judgment
A woman masturbates constantly at work, then greets businessmen with her hot sticky handshake...
CAUTION: SEX
SWEATERPANTS FOR CHRIST!: by Wayan; 2011/6/30, a comic sartorial nightmare poem
I pull my mom's sweater onto my legs but get tangled (and bits of anatomy dangle).
Worse, I'm emulating Jesus. Is this any way to get a date?
CAUTION: WARDROBE MALFUNCTION, GENDER MALFUNCTION, MOM MALFUNCTION
SYBIL SUE FLANNERY: by Wayan, 1986/10/29, a dream noir.
I'm Sybil Sue, a hard-boiled shapeshifting shamus, on the track
of the most wanted bankrobbers in LA: the Bad Girls...
CAUTION: IN BETWEEN GUNSHOTS, THE BAD GIRLS SWEAR
THE TALE OF A MISFIT COCK: by Wayan; 1999/1/25, a media-fable dream.
I'm in Japan, where Rumiko Takahashi tells me of a tragic chicken
who longs to be a lounge singer...
TAROT: THE ANOREXIC DANCER: by Wayan; Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1978.
The card of excessive self-denial, whether compulsive or artistic or spiritual...
TAROT: THE CENTAUR (Ace of Pentacles): by Wayan; Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1978.
Mind and body integrated. S/he can hold up even the world-serpent that the gods couldn't lift...
CAUTION: ANDROGYNOUS CENTAUR BREASTS
TAROT: THE COP (Knight of Swords): by Wayan; Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1978.
The card of force sparingly needed. The Knight says, "Sometimes ya gotta bust a few heads..."
THINGS WASH OFF: by Wayan; 2009/4/22, a dream fingering the cause of a breakup; Dreamverse #49
Those Hollywood lovers in the tub seem perfect together, until... oh, read the title!
CAUTION: RACE- AND GENDER-BENDING
UTOPIA: by Wayan; 37 p, 3.9 MB, 2007/5/9, a painted essay on... wishes?
An improvised painting-series exploring my obsession for Utopia--and your deafening silence...
CAUTION: IDEAS, FURRY NUDITY, THAT GOSH-DARN MODERN ABSTRACT ART
A VALLEY NEAR HOPE: by Wayan; 1984/10/17-19, an epic dream.
I wander a valley where unicorns love cyborgs but fear giant ants, who love unicorns but
fear cyborgs, who love ants but fear unicorns! And while the Three Tribes squabble, cave-monsters
sculpt them all. I set up peace talks between these four aspects of my tetrahedral soul...
CAUTION: SWEARING, DRUNK LIONS, CYBORG SURGERY, AND GOGGLE-BARFING
WARIA: by Wayan; 640 x 450, 1989, digital image based on a 1987/3/23 dream.
My life was a sex disaster. I felt ugly and sick. Then I dreamed I found a counselor
who really helped. But my parents warned me against her. Why? They explained:
WARNING: NUDITY
WATERCATS: by Wayan; 1987/9/10; an epic, clear predictive dream
I dream I find a few 'extinct' watercats--in a slum! They talk. They say I'm one of them,
brainwashed to think I'm human. I wake, go to a dinner, and hear a tale of... watercats!
THE WELL OF WOMEN'S WISDOM: by Wayan; 1991/3/25, a dream on gradualism.
I find the Well of Women's Wisdom. Lucky I'm female tonight! A girl sneers "Narrow!" Is it, or her?
WENDY NEGLECTED: by Wayan; 1996/7/22, a paradoxical dream.
Ari neglects Wendy till she doubts she's sexy. I show her she is. But am I using her too?
CAUTION: SEX TALK
WHO'LL BE MY LOVE?: by Wayan; 1986/4/14, a dream noir farce; part 4 of UNICORN TAG.
I'm a hardboiled detective wincing as I grill a meek little psychic
(probably me) about squish-softboiled topics like unicorns and love...
CAUTION: SMUTTY UNICORN MAKES EVEN COPS BLUSH
WILLPOWER (HAPPINESS): by Wayan; 1991/1/17, a didactic dream.
At age 90, the first female high-rise steelworker tells me
why she did it--and why she regrets it now...
WITWEET WAYAN: by Wayan, 1979/1/10, a dream of butch and femme.
Six generations in the future, I find a poodle who can defuse the bomb my snotty friends can't...
CAUTION: MAD SCIENTIST, EXHIBITIONIST GIRLFRIEND, POODLE MOCKERY
WOLFWALL: by Wayan; 106K, Jan. 1994. Digital image of daydream/trance
Drew all night in a trance and only learned at dawn what this flirting otter and wolf were trying to tell me...
CAUTION: NUDITY AND SEXUAL THEME
WOMBERS: by Wayan; 1997/8/23, a journal entry on peace-at-any-price personalities
Nancy Friday describes a kind of weak guy disturbingly like me--I think chronic illness has...
A WOMEN'S WORLD: by Wayan; 1996/8/6, a psychic dream.
I visit Earth during an all-female era. I'm a woman, can pass for local--so why do I lie to fit in?
CAUTION: SEXIST SLUR
YUPPIE BREAKUP: by Wayan; 1991/5/22, a dream on values--or the lack thereof.
A yuppie idealist discovers her boyfriend's a cheerful opportunist, and they disentangle their lives...
CAUTION: SEX IN REVERSE


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