Ariana's a brilliant young writer, but how she plans to escape her family is alarming...
CAUTION: TEEN PREGNANCY, SKIN MAGS, BAD CAREER PLANNING
My kidnappers were desperate: no jobs. I fled them down the berry chute, to the underground strawberry factory where engineers in go-go boots did the berry dance. And the berries...
CAUTION: STRAWBERRY FETISH
A perfectionist gardener builds perfect planterboxes while his seedlings starve. And so I left the burbs...
That broccoli business made the new pope controversial, but when he goes off to find his girlfriend...
CAUTION: CATHOLIC SACRILEGE I'M SURE
How I cursed Isabella the sofa sorceress, cursed her with a blueberry. And why that stinks...
CAUTION: UNDER THE MAGIC, IDEAS
Troutmet the moon-pigeon, Burtra the blackbird, a talking acacia, and my dead dad and gardener give me afterworld-advice...
I meet a man who's lived centuries on an all-cannibal diet. He has ethics, though: he sticks to roadkill! Except...
CAUTION: EEEUUGH!
A pod of whales in the sky and a circle of children dressed like seed-pods both beg me to interpret them...
I'm an alien castaway, hiding my wings. But Earth feels like home now! If I could fly here, would I stay?
A woman discovers that her new use for a truck with a telescoping arm has philosophical consequences...
In the Garden of the Gods, I sit through sun and rain. For the gods aren't the gardeners, but the crop...
From Hawaii to Wyoming, I fight for beauty, always waking to find I'm someone new...
A dream-fable of lemons who are really orange-people infected by a spore turns out to be about me...
I wake up as someone else. I go through her working day, till Captain Kirk comes to take me to...
Half asleep, I scrawl a nightmare of trying to rescue gasping boyfish, but my dreamwriting goes wrong too...
The Lord Chancelor can't sleep, and when at last he does, he drifts through nightmares full of baby lawyers and potted tradesmen sprouting fruit, and cutthroat corporate scheming. But that's Victorian dreaming!
A new Eve asks the Time Commission to send her back to Ethiopia 45,000 years ago. But they're shy Moomintrolls, not humans...
Down at the tideline, a man dressed in seaweed disproves John Donne's adage...
A quick, fatal, mosquito-borne plague. Humanity looks doomed till my friends come up with a folk recipe:
Things start materializing in my house: first three tiny naked scientists and then an impossible fruit...
CAUTION: NUDE SCIENTISTS
I'm in a department store trying on clothes when I notice there's a large zucchini growing from my crotch...
CAUTION: SQUASHY PENIS, ICKY RECIPE
Not a dream--I just found myself painting Potatohenge...
I meet a woman on an oxcart who's sure we all want to poison her--but that's made her forgiving, even noble...
CAUTION: MADNESS
Three friends in a garden pledge loyalty forever with a toast of the wine of the heart...
Onstage, high on a scaffold, I was beating the chaff off a huge seed, unable to stop. I was beating my own heart...
Unshade trees are ugly. But my friends list their uses: casting shadows lighter than sunlight, keeping land clear of other trees, and the fruit. Fruit? WHAT fruit? Am I blind?
In our cult, we lie in vats of goo till we grow wings. But we’re feared more than we knew...
CAUTION: A SPECIST LYNCH MOB, NAKED IN SCHOOL, LESBIAN FEELINGS, OBSCENE CARROT
Make silhouettes of your beloved vegetables; then listen to the spaces between...
CAUTION: LEWD SQUASH
After a visit from our landlady's angry, crazy son, a pack of vicious dinosaurs invades our house...
An invisible monster is eating my lettuce patch. It casts a huge blurry shadow, leaves footprints, but...
I'm a cowgirl in Nevada circa 1900. Below Haunted Mansion, I meet a green lizard-lady in distress...
CAUTION: QUEER-POSITIVE
I'm a part-owner of Eden, harvesting windfalls. But a renter says his Landlord promised him all the apples...
After teaching a class on color, I had a set of vivid dreams about color, and tried fusing them into one painting...
I find the truth about my childhood. My parents lied! I hide for days, then dub myself Zucchini Girl and go onstage, humping squash, calling it performance art! So do my friends see a problem?
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM